(no subject)
Chris leaned absently against the kitchen counter, watching the small grey kitten fidget unhappily in her new litter box. She tentatively tried to slink out of the box, and was about to jump off the counter when Chris intercepted her and dropped her back in.
The kitten mewled pathetically, staring up at him with a faintly resentful gaze. Chris offered her a apologetic smile, reaching forwards to ruffle the fur on her head before most of his attention was diverted back to his chewing gum. “You should just have a quick wee, get it out of the way,” Chris advised her, suspecting Duke was probably just as bored he was. “Then we'd both be able to get on with things.”
He could hardly leave her unsupervised, after all. Not before she'd learned what her litter box was for. He sighed, crossing his arms and wishing she'd just get it over with. It wasn't that much to ask for, was it?
He was busying himself with making a cup of tea when Ray walked in, opening up one of the cupboards and retrieving a half finished pack of digestives. He took a few sniffs of the air, wrinkling his nose as he took a bite out of a biscuit. “What's that stink?”
Chris sniffed slightly, then frowned and shook his head. “Dunno. Duke, probably. It weren't me, though.”
Ray shook his head, still pulling a face. “No, no... I don't mean that. More like ammonia. That cat's not pissed in here, has he?”
“She,” Chris corrected him with a nod. “And it probably is ammonia. DI Drake said it'd make her want to go to the toilet in there.”
Ray peered into the litter tray, promptly scooping the kitten out and handing her off to Chris when he saw just how much he'd used. “Bloody hell, Chris. I don't think she meant that much. No wonder it stinks so much. You know ammonia's corrosive, don't you?”
Chris, who had been wincing at the slight prick of claws through his shirt, suddenly looked horrified. “Corrosive? She never said nothing about that.” He lifted a paw cautiously, not really noticing anything too different in the pad. “Well, I can't see her bones, or nothing...”
“Not that corrosive, you twonk. How did your hands feel when you stuck them down that bog?”
“Dunno. Itchy, I suppose,” Chris replied, realisation slowly taking place. “Was that ammonia too? What did she want me to stick Duke in ammonia for, then?”
“I don't think she meant--” Ray cut himself off, shaking his head in exasperation and turning on the tap. “Just stick him in the sink, Chris.”
Chris frowned, still clutching Duke to his chest. “Cats don't like like water, do they?”
“Yeah, well they don't like having cleaning products all over their paws, either. Just put him in there, will you?”
Chris complied quickly, though he couldn't resist a muttered 'she' before all his attention was needed to keep the kitten under the tap. Ray didn't help wash her, though he did towel her down while Chris rubbed cream into the scratches he'd received while Duke had been in the water.
“I don't think that'll help much, mate,” he told him, shoving the grumbling kitten back into Chris' arms. Chris dropped the cream back onto the counter, fumbling to keep the towel wrapped tightly around Duke. The last thing he needed was more scratches from her. He'd had more than enough of them already. “We'll stick him in the Guv's office until he calms down a bit. The Guv probably won't be back for a bit yet, anyway.” Chris just nodded, following Ray back out into the main office of CID.
A few minutes later, and Duke was safely confined to the Guv's office, and Chris was settling down to the paperwork he'd been neglecting in favour of training the kitten to use its litter box. It wasn't until the Guv's return along with DI Drake a few hours later that Duke was so much as thought of again.
Chris was at Shaz's desk, debating over what they should see at the flicks that night. Ray was pissing about at his own desk with a few of the other lads, and DI Drake was just settling back at her desk. The Guv had strode into his office without a word to any of them. A moment later the whole office was thrown into stunned silence by the Guv's furious shout of “Oh, that bloody animal!”
The door was thrown open again, and out stepped the Guv. Duke trotted out
from behind him, making a beeline for DI Drake's desk where she proceeded to rub about her ankles.
“Who the hell let that in cat in here?” the Guv demanded, glaring around the office suspiciously. Chris caught Ray's eye, who shook his head. No help there, then. Chris straightened up guiltily, taking a step away from Shaz's desk.
The Guv's gaze became fixated on him immediately. “I should've known. I thought you were supposed to be teaching it how to use its litter box, not my chair.”
Chris glanced over at Ray (who seemed to be far too amused by this), then glanced down at his feet again. “Sorry, Guv. Only meant to leave her in there a minute.”
“Well, maybe next time you'll refrain from letting it in at all. Get in here, and get this cleaned up before I put you on permanent litter tray duty.”
The Guv disappeared back into his office, though this time the door remained ajar. Chris gave Ray a pleading look, hoping that maybe he'd help him clean up. It had been his idea to put Duke in the Guv's office, after all. Ray's face twisted into a grin, and he shook his head. “No chance, mate.”
He turned to Shaz next, only to find she was already shaking her head. “Go on, then,” she told him, smiling slightly. “Might be late to the pictures, if you don't get a move on.”
Chris nodded, resigned, and followed after the Guv. He was out in less than five minutes, hovering nervously at the edge of DI Drake's desk.
“How'd you get cat piss out of chairs?”
---
Written for havinhoops who wanted someone to do something with Duke, and poshmouthytart who wanted a fic concerning Chris and Duke's litter training.
The kitten mewled pathetically, staring up at him with a faintly resentful gaze. Chris offered her a apologetic smile, reaching forwards to ruffle the fur on her head before most of his attention was diverted back to his chewing gum. “You should just have a quick wee, get it out of the way,” Chris advised her, suspecting Duke was probably just as bored he was. “Then we'd both be able to get on with things.”
He could hardly leave her unsupervised, after all. Not before she'd learned what her litter box was for. He sighed, crossing his arms and wishing she'd just get it over with. It wasn't that much to ask for, was it?
He was busying himself with making a cup of tea when Ray walked in, opening up one of the cupboards and retrieving a half finished pack of digestives. He took a few sniffs of the air, wrinkling his nose as he took a bite out of a biscuit. “What's that stink?”
Chris sniffed slightly, then frowned and shook his head. “Dunno. Duke, probably. It weren't me, though.”
Ray shook his head, still pulling a face. “No, no... I don't mean that. More like ammonia. That cat's not pissed in here, has he?”
“She,” Chris corrected him with a nod. “And it probably is ammonia. DI Drake said it'd make her want to go to the toilet in there.”
Ray peered into the litter tray, promptly scooping the kitten out and handing her off to Chris when he saw just how much he'd used. “Bloody hell, Chris. I don't think she meant that much. No wonder it stinks so much. You know ammonia's corrosive, don't you?”
Chris, who had been wincing at the slight prick of claws through his shirt, suddenly looked horrified. “Corrosive? She never said nothing about that.” He lifted a paw cautiously, not really noticing anything too different in the pad. “Well, I can't see her bones, or nothing...”
“Not that corrosive, you twonk. How did your hands feel when you stuck them down that bog?”
“Dunno. Itchy, I suppose,” Chris replied, realisation slowly taking place. “Was that ammonia too? What did she want me to stick Duke in ammonia for, then?”
“I don't think she meant--” Ray cut himself off, shaking his head in exasperation and turning on the tap. “Just stick him in the sink, Chris.”
Chris frowned, still clutching Duke to his chest. “Cats don't like like water, do they?”
“Yeah, well they don't like having cleaning products all over their paws, either. Just put him in there, will you?”
Chris complied quickly, though he couldn't resist a muttered 'she' before all his attention was needed to keep the kitten under the tap. Ray didn't help wash her, though he did towel her down while Chris rubbed cream into the scratches he'd received while Duke had been in the water.
“I don't think that'll help much, mate,” he told him, shoving the grumbling kitten back into Chris' arms. Chris dropped the cream back onto the counter, fumbling to keep the towel wrapped tightly around Duke. The last thing he needed was more scratches from her. He'd had more than enough of them already. “We'll stick him in the Guv's office until he calms down a bit. The Guv probably won't be back for a bit yet, anyway.” Chris just nodded, following Ray back out into the main office of CID.
A few minutes later, and Duke was safely confined to the Guv's office, and Chris was settling down to the paperwork he'd been neglecting in favour of training the kitten to use its litter box. It wasn't until the Guv's return along with DI Drake a few hours later that Duke was so much as thought of again.
Chris was at Shaz's desk, debating over what they should see at the flicks that night. Ray was pissing about at his own desk with a few of the other lads, and DI Drake was just settling back at her desk. The Guv had strode into his office without a word to any of them. A moment later the whole office was thrown into stunned silence by the Guv's furious shout of “Oh, that bloody animal!”
The door was thrown open again, and out stepped the Guv. Duke trotted out
from behind him, making a beeline for DI Drake's desk where she proceeded to rub about her ankles.
“Who the hell let that in cat in here?” the Guv demanded, glaring around the office suspiciously. Chris caught Ray's eye, who shook his head. No help there, then. Chris straightened up guiltily, taking a step away from Shaz's desk.
The Guv's gaze became fixated on him immediately. “I should've known. I thought you were supposed to be teaching it how to use its litter box, not my chair.”
Chris glanced over at Ray (who seemed to be far too amused by this), then glanced down at his feet again. “Sorry, Guv. Only meant to leave her in there a minute.”
“Well, maybe next time you'll refrain from letting it in at all. Get in here, and get this cleaned up before I put you on permanent litter tray duty.”
The Guv disappeared back into his office, though this time the door remained ajar. Chris gave Ray a pleading look, hoping that maybe he'd help him clean up. It had been his idea to put Duke in the Guv's office, after all. Ray's face twisted into a grin, and he shook his head. “No chance, mate.”
He turned to Shaz next, only to find she was already shaking her head. “Go on, then,” she told him, smiling slightly. “Might be late to the pictures, if you don't get a move on.”
Chris nodded, resigned, and followed after the Guv. He was out in less than five minutes, hovering nervously at the edge of DI Drake's desk.
“How'd you get cat piss out of chairs?”
---
Written for havinhoops who wanted someone to do something with Duke, and poshmouthytart who wanted a fic concerning Chris and Duke's litter training.