so freaking sad....
Just when I think I'm all happy for good....I get all sad....so frustrating....I should be happy....I just put on the pants that my roommie had gotten for me at the flea market -- they are those that have the zip off legs -- ordinarily a geek sort of a thing, but when camping I would have killed to be able to fit in them...and...well, I fit in them now...too bad I prob won't get a chance to camp again until next year! But...the upshot of all that is that I've lost some weight....I guess eating macro food and then fasting for 5 days will help. I'm still fasting...although today is my b-day and my roommate insisted on getting a cake....how can I argue? she said she was using my bday as an excuse for buying the cake.....so....I might have a bite...but I'm concerned about what it will do to me health wise...I guess it will be okay...I'm taking so many cleansing herbs and fiberous shakes, it will probably just expel out of me, without even being absorbed.
But...I can't help but being sad...even so I know its all over with my ex, I still had a small part of me that thought he'd call, send flowers, or whatever....instead, I check my email this morning and there are no e-cards -- but there is a reminder email from the e-card people that the ex'es bday is next week....so...I can see there are going to be a few sucky bdays coming my way, as I'll always remember that his is exactly a week after mine....and every full moon I'll remember him....so freaking sad....it all seemed so great when we were dating that his bday was a week later than mine and that we celebrate our anniversaries on the full moon....now those all just seem like painful reminders of the past.....
I've not been very motivated today....hence the updating of my profile on okcupid and my current listing in this journal. I've struck up a convo with a guy in Portland.....it's soo not a serious thing...he's going to drive me crazy....but....he's wanting to take me to Disneyland...and I've never been.....so....here I go on another insane adventure....meeting him in LA and staying the weekend with him....I just hope my ability to spot scary people and be able to exit dangerous situations is still keen and that I'm truly right when I say I think he's a bit nutty, but harmless....I'm sure it will be fine....
Anyway....I should get back to cleaning my room....the roommie should be here soon, and we'll have that cake....
But...I can't help but being sad...even so I know its all over with my ex, I still had a small part of me that thought he'd call, send flowers, or whatever....instead, I check my email this morning and there are no e-cards -- but there is a reminder email from the e-card people that the ex'es bday is next week....so...I can see there are going to be a few sucky bdays coming my way, as I'll always remember that his is exactly a week after mine....and every full moon I'll remember him....so freaking sad....it all seemed so great when we were dating that his bday was a week later than mine and that we celebrate our anniversaries on the full moon....now those all just seem like painful reminders of the past.....
I've not been very motivated today....hence the updating of my profile on okcupid and my current listing in this journal. I've struck up a convo with a guy in Portland.....it's soo not a serious thing...he's going to drive me crazy....but....he's wanting to take me to Disneyland...and I've never been.....so....here I go on another insane adventure....meeting him in LA and staying the weekend with him....I just hope my ability to spot scary people and be able to exit dangerous situations is still keen and that I'm truly right when I say I think he's a bit nutty, but harmless....I'm sure it will be fine....
Anyway....I should get back to cleaning my room....the roommie should be here soon, and we'll have that cake....