COUNCIL OF ELDERS
It has recently come to the attention of the Council of Elders that we have not sufficiently communicated our purposes, nor have we thoroughly justified our claim to rule supreme.
Before we begin with the meat of our doctrine, we would like to relate a story, that you, our subjects, will no doubt find enlightening:
One day, Hambone, a disenfranchised spotted snail, came upon a eucalyptus leaf. Clearly, the leaf had just fallen for no debris was on it. Hambone, (being naturally curious as all spotted snails are), stretched his neck out of his shell to search for the eucalyptus tree from which the leaf came. However, being at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific, he found no such tree.
Hambone puzzled over this puzzlement, for not two days before, his friend, Eagle, the jaguar, told him that eucalyptus trees thrived at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific. “Oh! What a drab excursion this has been!,” exclaimed Hambone, thoroughly flustered.
Upon returning to his native land of Pago Pago island, he asked his friend, Jaguar, the eagle, to tell him why he had lied. “I am not Eagle, the jaguar,” exclaimed Jaguar, the eagle, “I am Jaguar, the eagle.” “Quite right, quite right,” said Hambone. “Do you happen to know where Eagle, the jaguar is?” Jaguar, the eagle, replied, “Why yes. I saw Eagle, the jaguar yesterday. We were both at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific, searching for eucalyptus trees.” “Oh, did you find any?” asked Hambone, snickering to himself. “Of course,” replied Jaguar, the eagle, “There have always been eucalyptus trees at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific.”
This story has been passed down from Elder to Elder for over eleventy-billion years. Verily, we are tired and require foot scrubbing. We shall return to spell out our laws tomorrow.
Before we begin with the meat of our doctrine, we would like to relate a story, that you, our subjects, will no doubt find enlightening:
One day, Hambone, a disenfranchised spotted snail, came upon a eucalyptus leaf. Clearly, the leaf had just fallen for no debris was on it. Hambone, (being naturally curious as all spotted snails are), stretched his neck out of his shell to search for the eucalyptus tree from which the leaf came. However, being at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific, he found no such tree.
Hambone puzzled over this puzzlement, for not two days before, his friend, Eagle, the jaguar, told him that eucalyptus trees thrived at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific. “Oh! What a drab excursion this has been!,” exclaimed Hambone, thoroughly flustered.
Upon returning to his native land of Pago Pago island, he asked his friend, Jaguar, the eagle, to tell him why he had lied. “I am not Eagle, the jaguar,” exclaimed Jaguar, the eagle, “I am Jaguar, the eagle.” “Quite right, quite right,” said Hambone. “Do you happen to know where Eagle, the jaguar is?” Jaguar, the eagle, replied, “Why yes. I saw Eagle, the jaguar yesterday. We were both at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific, searching for eucalyptus trees.” “Oh, did you find any?” asked Hambone, snickering to himself. “Of course,” replied Jaguar, the eagle, “There have always been eucalyptus trees at the bottom of the Kermadec Trench in the South Pacific.”
This story has been passed down from Elder to Elder for over eleventy-billion years. Verily, we are tired and require foot scrubbing. We shall return to spell out our laws tomorrow.