(no subject)
there's no path to follow once you're here
climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs
it's time for another entry. it's days that I have the most to do that I update this. or at least days I feel like I have the most to do.
Part of me wants to say I'm scared about surgery tomorrow but another part of me is really glad to be having it and have it over with. I'm just thankful it's not life-threatening, we didn't have to apply for special financing, and it will let me finally breathe again!
That and I get to look for Christmas music for the Wrens to sing today. There's nothing like Christmas music to make life seem so much more handle-able.
I feel like everyone on campus is in a sort of flux right now - fall break is coming and life moves in fast forward for a few days. relationships are put on hold, people's defense mechanisms go into overdrive, everything seems 10x more important than it actually is, life is just crazy. Even the trees look stressed.
But freshman year also seems so very close on days like today. Sitting here working in the music library feels strange, like someone's replaced a light bulb or the carpeting is different. It's like a time-warp, this library, where the faces change but don't. Is anything we do here really new? Is anything ever the same as it was before? The time seems to be marked by big events, concerts, birthdays, spontaneous jam sessions, a good book, study parties - is this what life will be like post-college? Time passing bookmarked by special events? It's ok if it is, I just would like to know. Maybe it's because the future seems so much closer. Never before have I planned April in September.
random memories popping up:
- music library with emerson - singing Chalom in the stairwell with the bots - nickel creek concert with Lauren and Matt and Alice and Greg - movie nights with Greg and Jane - the afternoon Bee and I decided to play piano duo music and met Jim for the first time - Ewell at 4 am - scary movie night - 3p parties - mad about you at 1 am - 4 hour russian study session - frisbee golfers - climbing onto my loft via the a/c - prayer sessions in the lounge - peanut butter - recital hall "are you asleep?" "haven't you ever seen anyone pray before?" - firefly until all hours - the first time I got to play tom's harpsichord - the three musketeers - happy birthday to the random lady in chilis - happy birthday to mcclure in chilis - wren portico in the snow - cross campus at night - christmas in cw
funny the kind of things I remember - the things that pop up for me are not the B- I got on my German paper or the time I overslept and missed a bots concert or the awful astronomy TA who said that the north star was below the horizon, but times when I've been doing things I love. it's such an interesting thing, life. i know so little, and that's ok. it's kind of a comfort, my own ignorance, if only because it means there's so much more to learn.
and the waves crashing 'round me
and the sand sweeps out to sea
and the winds that blow remind me
of what has been
and what can never be
climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs
it's time for another entry. it's days that I have the most to do that I update this. or at least days I feel like I have the most to do.
Part of me wants to say I'm scared about surgery tomorrow but another part of me is really glad to be having it and have it over with. I'm just thankful it's not life-threatening, we didn't have to apply for special financing, and it will let me finally breathe again!
That and I get to look for Christmas music for the Wrens to sing today. There's nothing like Christmas music to make life seem so much more handle-able.
I feel like everyone on campus is in a sort of flux right now - fall break is coming and life moves in fast forward for a few days. relationships are put on hold, people's defense mechanisms go into overdrive, everything seems 10x more important than it actually is, life is just crazy. Even the trees look stressed.
But freshman year also seems so very close on days like today. Sitting here working in the music library feels strange, like someone's replaced a light bulb or the carpeting is different. It's like a time-warp, this library, where the faces change but don't. Is anything we do here really new? Is anything ever the same as it was before? The time seems to be marked by big events, concerts, birthdays, spontaneous jam sessions, a good book, study parties - is this what life will be like post-college? Time passing bookmarked by special events? It's ok if it is, I just would like to know. Maybe it's because the future seems so much closer. Never before have I planned April in September.
random memories popping up:
- music library with emerson - singing Chalom in the stairwell with the bots - nickel creek concert with Lauren and Matt and Alice and Greg - movie nights with Greg and Jane - the afternoon Bee and I decided to play piano duo music and met Jim for the first time - Ewell at 4 am - scary movie night - 3p parties - mad about you at 1 am - 4 hour russian study session - frisbee golfers - climbing onto my loft via the a/c - prayer sessions in the lounge - peanut butter - recital hall "are you asleep?" "haven't you ever seen anyone pray before?" - firefly until all hours - the first time I got to play tom's harpsichord - the three musketeers - happy birthday to the random lady in chilis - happy birthday to mcclure in chilis - wren portico in the snow - cross campus at night - christmas in cw
funny the kind of things I remember - the things that pop up for me are not the B- I got on my German paper or the time I overslept and missed a bots concert or the awful astronomy TA who said that the north star was below the horizon, but times when I've been doing things I love. it's such an interesting thing, life. i know so little, and that's ok. it's kind of a comfort, my own ignorance, if only because it means there's so much more to learn.
and the waves crashing 'round me
and the sand sweeps out to sea
and the winds that blow remind me
of what has been
and what can never be