summer
Well, I'm home...no, not really. I left home today. I left the place that has been my home for the past 9 weeks, the place where I had the most incredible summer of my life, the place where I am infinitely happy, where I am loved, where I belong...and I'm having withdrawl. It honestly feels like I've just stopped using...it may sound corny (and like a load of shit), but I'm aching. Yes, I'm sad and yes I've cried a good deal, but it honestly hurts in my chest and I have this overwhelming feeling of emptiness, like something's missing. Something is missing, actually a lot is missing. I hate this feeling, I hate not wanting to be here, I hate the fact that it's over, seriously over, this is not a day off and I cannot go back. I hate that the better the summer was, the harder it is for it to end. I know though that this feeling will lessen, it always does, but that I will still feel it in my heart, for a while at least, when something triggers a memory. My dad said something today that made sense: he said the fact that I can't stop crying and that I want so badly to be back at Eisner is a symbol of how great a time I had. It was amazing really. Despite certain challenges, I loved the campers! I liked myself better as a counselor too, I think I have definitely learned a lot.
Socially it was a better summer too. My friends...are amazing! Seriously, I love you all so much!!! I know this is so so corny, but there are some things I need to say, so deal with it!! Boys (you know who you are): thank you for sexually harassing me to no end and tickling me until I laughed so hard that I cried-thanks for making me feel like I was deserving of attention, like I was actually attractive. It sounds stupid and cliche, but this feeling is new for me. Coopy, Joey, Leora: thank you for living with me and dealing with all of my shit, thank you for working so hard all of the time. I'm really glad that we become so close! JAAMSS: I could not ask for better best friends, you are my everything and I love you endlessly! This summer would not have been as fun as it was without you! *Mechitza* hehe. Dave: Thank you for making me happier than I ever thought I could be, thank you for giving me goosebumps, thank you for making me feel beautiful, thank you for being there. Thank you for...everything. K, I'm done being corny now haha. Honestly though, even if I didn't mention you, I love you, Eisner=love!!
So on a totally different note: I'm leaving for college on Thursday. Holy shit! I will probably write another entry about that when I'm not as sleep deprived, but before I forget... go to my AIM profile and write down my school address and number and everything and keep in touch. Definitely send me yours too if you're going to school.
Oh also, one other thing. Sunday is my birthday! Yay...19!! It's going to be weird though because for the first time in my life I won't be home for my birthday. I won't be with my parents, I will be with new friends in a new place, and as cool as it will probably end up being...it makes me kinda sad so definitely call and say hi if you can.
I'm officially done with my rambling. I will end with a quote that seems to sum up how I'm feeling, props to Matt Stamm:
"Well i only wish that we could stay and spend the rest of every day in the place where it's summertime forever and i'll dream about the time we spent and send my love to all my friends and i'll see you when summer comes again".
Socially it was a better summer too. My friends...are amazing! Seriously, I love you all so much!!! I know this is so so corny, but there are some things I need to say, so deal with it!! Boys (you know who you are): thank you for sexually harassing me to no end and tickling me until I laughed so hard that I cried-thanks for making me feel like I was deserving of attention, like I was actually attractive. It sounds stupid and cliche, but this feeling is new for me. Coopy, Joey, Leora: thank you for living with me and dealing with all of my shit, thank you for working so hard all of the time. I'm really glad that we become so close! JAAMSS: I could not ask for better best friends, you are my everything and I love you endlessly! This summer would not have been as fun as it was without you! *Mechitza* hehe. Dave: Thank you for making me happier than I ever thought I could be, thank you for giving me goosebumps, thank you for making me feel beautiful, thank you for being there. Thank you for...everything. K, I'm done being corny now haha. Honestly though, even if I didn't mention you, I love you, Eisner=love!!
So on a totally different note: I'm leaving for college on Thursday. Holy shit! I will probably write another entry about that when I'm not as sleep deprived, but before I forget... go to my AIM profile and write down my school address and number and everything and keep in touch. Definitely send me yours too if you're going to school.
Oh also, one other thing. Sunday is my birthday! Yay...19!! It's going to be weird though because for the first time in my life I won't be home for my birthday. I won't be with my parents, I will be with new friends in a new place, and as cool as it will probably end up being...it makes me kinda sad so definitely call and say hi if you can.
I'm officially done with my rambling. I will end with a quote that seems to sum up how I'm feeling, props to Matt Stamm:
"Well i only wish that we could stay and spend the rest of every day in the place where it's summertime forever and i'll dream about the time we spent and send my love to all my friends and i'll see you when summer comes again".