Valentine's Day...and a lot of other shit
Well, Saturday is Valentine's Day and as usual I don't have a valentine. I hate to have pity parties but I just need to say that it really sucks that I've never had anyone buy me roses or a cute little stuffed animal...I've never had a valentine. Fortunately I won't be depressed and alone this V-day because Aliza is coming!! I'm so excited because she is truly the most amazing best friend in the world, I mean she is always there for me, she takes all of my shit and deals with my insecurities and obsessions, I'd be lost without her. Sarah is coming for a couple of days also and that is super exciting because no one can make me laugh like Sarah, I mean who else would say "Can you imagine a room full of shit?!" haha, good times, good times. Writing this is reminding me of how much I miss camp. I am so sick of all the petty shit that goes on in high school. I mean yeah things aren't perfect at Eisner but I'm happy there, more than anywhere else. At least I'm a second semester senior, that's exciting. Not that I have any free periods except lunch, but oh well, I'm taking some classes just for the hell of it that I'm really enjoying. I'm glad it's vacation though because I'm really ready for a stress-free week. I hope I get into some more colleges soon, I haaate waiting. At least I have a place to go if G-d forbid I don't get in anywhere else (yay Quinnipiac!!)
Something I've been pondering lately is friendships. I haven't really talked to anyone from Hingham in a long time (except Jamie of course), and I know that is partially my fault because communication is a two-way street and whatever but I just wonder if people miss me. In case you don't know, I miss you all very very much, things are so different here and as much as I've become accustomed to it, there are definitely days when I miss knowing everyone in the grade and talking to friends who I've known forever. I love my friends here, don't get me wrong, but it's just not the same...something's missing. Plus, I think some people here don't really value my friendship and that makes me sad. It's funny, even when people are hurting me I pray every night for G-d to bless them and help them make the right decisions. I don't know if they necessarily deserve my prayers but I don't think it's worth going through life being mad and holding grudges. That's why I'm nice lol. No honestly though, I really hate being mean because I hate to see people hurting. Yeah if you screw me over or are unnecessarily mean to me then you will certainly feel my wrath, but it takes a lot for that to happen. Just because I'm like this does not mean I can be taken advantage of, doesn't mean that I'm weak, it just means that I'm a positive person. Ugh, I feel like such a kvetch!! The sad thing is that there's more, but all I'm going to say is that there's another situation that's majorly stressing me out, but I'm not giving up. Thanks to Dido my new motto is "There will be no white flag above my door". Amen to that lol. Happy Valentine's Day :*
Something I've been pondering lately is friendships. I haven't really talked to anyone from Hingham in a long time (except Jamie of course), and I know that is partially my fault because communication is a two-way street and whatever but I just wonder if people miss me. In case you don't know, I miss you all very very much, things are so different here and as much as I've become accustomed to it, there are definitely days when I miss knowing everyone in the grade and talking to friends who I've known forever. I love my friends here, don't get me wrong, but it's just not the same...something's missing. Plus, I think some people here don't really value my friendship and that makes me sad. It's funny, even when people are hurting me I pray every night for G-d to bless them and help them make the right decisions. I don't know if they necessarily deserve my prayers but I don't think it's worth going through life being mad and holding grudges. That's why I'm nice lol. No honestly though, I really hate being mean because I hate to see people hurting. Yeah if you screw me over or are unnecessarily mean to me then you will certainly feel my wrath, but it takes a lot for that to happen. Just because I'm like this does not mean I can be taken advantage of, doesn't mean that I'm weak, it just means that I'm a positive person. Ugh, I feel like such a kvetch!! The sad thing is that there's more, but all I'm going to say is that there's another situation that's majorly stressing me out, but I'm not giving up. Thanks to Dido my new motto is "There will be no white flag above my door". Amen to that lol. Happy Valentine's Day :*