Of wrist-cutting and Gundams
Well this is random but like
I wanted to write bromance but like
it turned out pretty gay at the end so like
Yeah.
I chose the names from a book that was closest to me, which is actually about a homosexual so it's kinda ironic now that I look at it.
"From the perspective of a person who cuts themself as a form of escapism, why do you do what you do?"
I looked up. Shunsuke always has been like this. Asking the most personal questions, and thinking it as nothing more than an innocent topic that happened to pique his curiosity at the moment. I tried my best to sound nice and gave him a smile that was too forced to be one. "You just answered your own question; as a form of escapism."
He wasn't satisfied with my answer. He placed his palm on his cheek and balanced his head with his right arm. "An escape from what? From my own view, you have a pretty good life. Kind parents, the whole class seems to like you, girls definitely like you, and yet you like to cut yourself. Why?"
One of the things that peeve me most about Shunsuke is that he's too stubborn. He's like a little boy, the way he asks you questions that doesn't involve him at all and won't stop asking you until he gets a satisfactory answer. I forced myself to keep smiling. "That doesn't have anything to do with you, Shunsuke."
He lifted his head from his palm and wrinkled his eyebrows. "Of course I do! I'm your friend right? I'm worried."
"That's a lie. You're not worried. You're just curious. Don't confuse those two completely different feelings with each other." To stop myself from raising my voice higher if Shunsuke keeps up with his questions, I started placing my books into my bag. We were the only people in the classroom and the sky has lost trace of any kind of blue hue.
Shunsuke opened his mouth to retort, but closed them again as if an afterthought. A bingo? In any case, I seized the opportunity and stood up to leave. "Don't worry Shunsuke, it has nothing to do with you." His silence suddenly made it much more awkward, and I hid my hands in my pocket which was habitual exercise for me during uncomfortable situations.
He stood up right after I said those words. "I'll walk home with you." I looked at him, slightly surprised. He hasn't given up? I didn't feel like talking to him anymore for the moment, in fear that he would suddenly start asking me again. But it isn't in my nature to say "no" so I just gave a small nod and began walking.
To my surprise, Shunsuke didn't say a single word throughout our walk back home. It wasn't as if his silence is anything new; neither of us talks much unless spoken to. He's one of the most stubborn people I know, if not the most. Despite his silent and apathetic demeanor, he gets very irritated like a child if you don't answer his questions. Even at the cost of your patience.
"Hey, Shunsuke?" I called him as I glanced to my side. He was just staring at his feet, as if counting the number of steps we made from school. "Are you mad at me?" I really didn't like making people mad, mostly because I don't know how to cheer people up.
And from his silent, almost dead expression he rushed his head sideways with a pained face. "Of course I’m mad! You stupid asshole!” His voice cracked as he said that. For a moment I thought he was about to cry.
“Hey, don’t start crying just because of that. Stop acting like a woman.” I told him, keeping my eyes in front of me. I knew if I looked at the face he’s making right now, I would either wrap my arms around him then and there or land a punch right in his face. Either way, the outcome of it would be too dangerous.
“I’m not crying, my voice just cracked.” His retorts really do remind me of a child’s.
The atmosphere continued being silent again, with the only noises being the sound of our feet hitting the ground. “Yuichi, I’m staying over at your house tonight, alright?” He suddenly told me. It wasn’t even a question. It was as if he had contemplated the idea in his head during the silent walk before concluding it on his own.
“That wasn’t a question, was it?” I sighed as I said it. Shunsuke laughed beside me.
“It’s a Friday, so we’re not going to be sleeping at all tonight. We’ll do whatever. You have the whole Gundam episodes right? Let’s have a marathon. And then we can play video games. Your video games are pretty lame, but at least you have Mario Kart.” It was as if he had planned everything inside his head, like the whole time we were walking he was mapping out the things he and I would do for the night. “I’ll make sure to stay up the whole time and keep an eye on you, so don’t you dare go cut yourself again tonight while I’m there.”
I stopped and looked at him. Were we still on this topic? I assumed he had given up. I was surprised, because Shunsuke rarely goes to such lengths for me. For anyone. I mused to myself that I might even be that important to him. That thought was so amusing that I even started laughing. “What’s so funny?” He looked at me as if I had lost my mind, which isn’t necessarily untrue.
“Nothing.” I started smiling without realizing it.
I wanted to write bromance but like
it turned out pretty gay at the end so like
Yeah.
I chose the names from a book that was closest to me, which is actually about a homosexual so it's kinda ironic now that I look at it.
"From the perspective of a person who cuts themself as a form of escapism, why do you do what you do?"
I looked up. Shunsuke always has been like this. Asking the most personal questions, and thinking it as nothing more than an innocent topic that happened to pique his curiosity at the moment. I tried my best to sound nice and gave him a smile that was too forced to be one. "You just answered your own question; as a form of escapism."
He wasn't satisfied with my answer. He placed his palm on his cheek and balanced his head with his right arm. "An escape from what? From my own view, you have a pretty good life. Kind parents, the whole class seems to like you, girls definitely like you, and yet you like to cut yourself. Why?"
One of the things that peeve me most about Shunsuke is that he's too stubborn. He's like a little boy, the way he asks you questions that doesn't involve him at all and won't stop asking you until he gets a satisfactory answer. I forced myself to keep smiling. "That doesn't have anything to do with you, Shunsuke."
He lifted his head from his palm and wrinkled his eyebrows. "Of course I do! I'm your friend right? I'm worried."
"That's a lie. You're not worried. You're just curious. Don't confuse those two completely different feelings with each other." To stop myself from raising my voice higher if Shunsuke keeps up with his questions, I started placing my books into my bag. We were the only people in the classroom and the sky has lost trace of any kind of blue hue.
Shunsuke opened his mouth to retort, but closed them again as if an afterthought. A bingo? In any case, I seized the opportunity and stood up to leave. "Don't worry Shunsuke, it has nothing to do with you." His silence suddenly made it much more awkward, and I hid my hands in my pocket which was habitual exercise for me during uncomfortable situations.
He stood up right after I said those words. "I'll walk home with you." I looked at him, slightly surprised. He hasn't given up? I didn't feel like talking to him anymore for the moment, in fear that he would suddenly start asking me again. But it isn't in my nature to say "no" so I just gave a small nod and began walking.
To my surprise, Shunsuke didn't say a single word throughout our walk back home. It wasn't as if his silence is anything new; neither of us talks much unless spoken to. He's one of the most stubborn people I know, if not the most. Despite his silent and apathetic demeanor, he gets very irritated like a child if you don't answer his questions. Even at the cost of your patience.
"Hey, Shunsuke?" I called him as I glanced to my side. He was just staring at his feet, as if counting the number of steps we made from school. "Are you mad at me?" I really didn't like making people mad, mostly because I don't know how to cheer people up.
And from his silent, almost dead expression he rushed his head sideways with a pained face. "Of course I’m mad! You stupid asshole!” His voice cracked as he said that. For a moment I thought he was about to cry.
“Hey, don’t start crying just because of that. Stop acting like a woman.” I told him, keeping my eyes in front of me. I knew if I looked at the face he’s making right now, I would either wrap my arms around him then and there or land a punch right in his face. Either way, the outcome of it would be too dangerous.
“I’m not crying, my voice just cracked.” His retorts really do remind me of a child’s.
The atmosphere continued being silent again, with the only noises being the sound of our feet hitting the ground. “Yuichi, I’m staying over at your house tonight, alright?” He suddenly told me. It wasn’t even a question. It was as if he had contemplated the idea in his head during the silent walk before concluding it on his own.
“That wasn’t a question, was it?” I sighed as I said it. Shunsuke laughed beside me.
“It’s a Friday, so we’re not going to be sleeping at all tonight. We’ll do whatever. You have the whole Gundam episodes right? Let’s have a marathon. And then we can play video games. Your video games are pretty lame, but at least you have Mario Kart.” It was as if he had planned everything inside his head, like the whole time we were walking he was mapping out the things he and I would do for the night. “I’ll make sure to stay up the whole time and keep an eye on you, so don’t you dare go cut yourself again tonight while I’m there.”
I stopped and looked at him. Were we still on this topic? I assumed he had given up. I was surprised, because Shunsuke rarely goes to such lengths for me. For anyone. I mused to myself that I might even be that important to him. That thought was so amusing that I even started laughing. “What’s so funny?” He looked at me as if I had lost my mind, which isn’t necessarily untrue.
“Nothing.” I started smiling without realizing it.