Movies and Books and Thoughts
I still haven't got my Fifty Shades books but I have done a fair bit of watching and reading again so I need to write it down before I forget.
Reading through some of the Fifty Shades bashing articles I found a few more movies that supposedly have "better" BDSM scenes than the Fifty Shades movies so I gave some that I had not watched a go. These were Dangerous Method and Belle De Jour. Seriously, none of the movies in these lists except of course 9 1/2 and Secretary were in any way close to Fifty Shades. How can anyone say any of these were "better" I don't know. I have a suspicion that they were either paid or pressured to say bad stuff, feel personally or their business threatened by fanfic upstarts, or are just terribly out of tune with humanity and needs of many movie watchers and readers. In a way, I understand the feelings of Trump followers feeling like they were being forced under the liberal government/education system to say things they didn't believe and repress those things they believed. Even though I detest Trump and racial discrimination is NEVER ok, there is a reason these people have used this opportunity to rally under this guy and people need to dig deeper into the problem.
One of those liberal ideas that seem to be forced on all of us is that a woman should never be portrayed with low self-esteem, weaker, or wanting to be protected or even helped by anyone. Yes, we all wish we were stronger and could do things on our own, and it is awesome to see heros that can do that, but that is not usually the case, and the portrayal of weakness is just the truth - something many women(and men) can relate to. And that's OK! I saw this recently on Pinterest and agree so much.
There are some things I question in the Fifty Shades movies, but I think the thing I like the most (other than all the nice sex) is that Anastasia ends up being Christian's salvation. She helps him forgive his mom for her weakness (which gave him the sadistic tendancies). She helps him realize that he can have a normal relationship. She saves him with her love, despite the fact that he is the prince in shining armer with all the financial wealth, the physical power and manipulation tactics. And I get why a fan of Twilight would come up with this plot because that is essentially what Twilight is about too (I really enjoyed the books). We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and just because we need help sometimes, it doesn't mean we are not strong in others.
Anyway, on to the movies I watched. Bell De Jour was very disappointing to me. It was a French movie, and also rather old, but the actress/her acting was just so boring and frustrating to me.
It was about a "beautiful" woman (Catherine Deneuve) who was married to a very nice (and handsome) man. I don't know how they got together but she was a virgin, very nieve, with no experience with men(maybe terrified), but also a strong desire to be punished, maybe due to childhood experience. She kept refusing her husband's advances for sex, and he was so nice and patient that he would accept this and tell her he would wait until she was ready. There is possibly a very masculine concept here that when a woman says no, she is really saying YES, FORCE ME!
Also, she never told him she wanted to be punished, which I can understand, but instead of telling him, she decides to work at a brothel and find what she wants elsewhere. There she IS forced, which is what she wanted I guess. Anyway, the story goes on, all the while she is having these imaginings off her husband punishing her by tying her to a tree and whipping her or getting someone else to whip her, throwing mud at her, etc. etc., obviously she wants whatever she wants from the man she loves (she does love him), but she can't tell him. Maybe she thinks he will disliker her for it because he is so nice and considerate and "not that kind of guy." She gets into a pickle with a weird man at the brothel who has an obsession for her, and she decides to quit, but he chases her to her home. Now, I stopped watching there because I was so frustrated with her, but I would not be surprised if her hubby found out after that and gave her what she had really wanted in the end, or because it is French, maybe he's killed by the crazy guy or something, I don't know. I just didn't like the actress or the character's mannerisms, her strange old fashioned imaginings or her inability to tell her husband. Maybe there are those who do and able to relate, and that is great.
*OK, I just looked up the movie on Wiki and THE HUSBAND IS SHOT AND BECOMES PARALYZED and his friend tells him the truth about his wife afterwards. How tragic is that? If only she had told him. And I laughed so hard when I read this because I was so right.
I am really happy that hubby, with all his faults (and the fact that sometimes I really dislike him), is willing to try stuff with me and is sort of turned on by the idea of me writing BDSM fanfic etc :D
Let's go on to Dangerous Method. This was really good!!! Not really focussed on BDSM, more on psychology because it is a story of Carl Jung, Sabina Spielrein (initially a patient of Jung and later a physician and one of the first female psychoanalysts), and by association, Freud. Very Very interesting. Jung has an affair with Sabina who has always been turned on by punishment (which is why she was a patient) so, we have a couple of scenes but other than that it is a serious discussion of freedom, repression etc. It's not something you'd watch for the porn, you know? Very thought provoking. Definitely recommend it!
Finally, after all that, I was just so sick of watching movies and TV that I decided to take a break and read a Tomb I had bought a while back. I've never used that word "tomb" but if any book fits that definition this one does. It is Massive. A 800 page hardback called The Priory of the Orange Tree. I think it was recommended to me on Amazon, but it could have been a friend. I don't remember. It is a fantasy, basically about the world fighting what we would consider to be Lucifer, the Devil, or Satan - the embodiment of evil basically. What is called "The Nameless One," was a dragon that was caged under the sea thousands of years ago and was about to be released according to prophesy. The story deals with different religious views which divides the world until they realize that they have to work together to fight the dragon. Another thing that is stressed here is feminism. We find out how one religion taught it was the man that had caged the Dragon, but in actuality it was two women. Even though there are plenty of brave men in the story, it is more focussed on the women, the Mother(s). And they are all strong - the bad and the good alike. No Cinderellas here LOL I enjoyed it very much and finished it within two days.
Everything I read and watched all tied in with each other in one way or other. The whole thing about accepting people for who they are, freedom rather than repression, etc. Even Belle De Jour, which I disliked, gave me lots of thoughts on fear and acceptance, and Vikings, where I got the meme/quote at the start had themes not just of accepting those of different religions, but also sexual freedom as believed in norse paganism.
Anyway, I think I am done now. Really need to go to class. See you later!