Dear Agony chapter 2
I HAVE FOUND THE PERFECT END
Again, Katara couldn't sleep, but this time she had a more concrete reason. Azula. Granted, the princess's care had been
taken over by the royal family's physician, but Katara was also a healer. And had treated Azula first, which made her
just as much Katara's patient.
Katara rose from her bed, donning her light blue dress before entering the hallway. As a guest of the firelord, the
guards let her roam as she wished, even entering the princess's chambers without hassle. Azula was still unconscious,
which the waterbender expected, but Zuko was also near by. The firelord was on the other side of the bed, hunched over
in a chair, and appeared to be falling asleep.
Katara watched him silently, feeling for the firebender. Even though the two were at odds, they were still siblings, and
Zuko obviously cared about her well being. She remember the few times Sokka had fallen ill throughout their childhood,
and whether serious or not Katara remained by his side.
"It's strange to see you two like this." Katara spoke, breaking the silence and startling Zuko. "I mean...After the Agni
Kai..."
Zuko sighed deeply, recovering after being spooked by the waterbender. "She's still my sister, no matter how many times
she tried to kill me. What are you doing awake?"
Katara neared Azula, seeing her sweat and shake even in her sleep. "I couldn't sleep. Been happening a lot recently."
"I've had that happen, myself." Zuko stretched his limbs, exiting the chair to poor a glass of water for himself. "Years
ago, when I was still hunting Aang. Well, before I knew his name was Aang. I think I nearly drove my uncle insane with
my insomnia." He paused, glancing over to the waterbender. "Is something troubling you?"
Katara was quick to shake her head. "No. I'm perfectly fine and happy." She retrieved a damp cloth, and placed on
Azula's forehead. "I am. Although maybe this incident over Yu Dao shook me up a little."
Zuko widened his eyes, pouring a second glass and offering it to Katara. "How so?"
Katara wasn't sure how to respond to that, as she herself couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. Was she uneasy about the
tentative peace that could be broken at a moments notice? Was it Kori's harsh words that she denied, affirmed when
speaking to Aang and then dismissed again? The only thing she did know for certain is that she couldn't sleep at night.
"Eh...it's not important."
Zuko gave her a pointed look. "Are you sure? Whatever it is...its disturbing your sleep cycle. It could have bad
repercussions..."
"I know." Katara cut off the firebender, fingering her loose hair. "I've seen that happen, actually, to Aang. Did we
ever tell you about the time Aang went without sleep? It was before the solar eclipse, and he was stressed about
fighting the firelord. It got so bad he hallucinated that Appa and Momo were having a samurai battle, surround by Koala
sheep cheerleaders!"
Zuko could tell she was changing the subject, going along with it. Whatever was bothering the girl, she obviously didn't
want to talk to him about it. He set down the ignored cup, and settled back into his chair. "Sounds like a dozy of
daydream. But at a bad time, though."
"Yeah...but we got him to sleep. Sokka, Toph and I. We spent hours shaving a flock of Koala sheep, Sokka and I shaved
while Toph kneaded it together, and made a bed. When he was coming back to camp, I made a mist-" She cut herself off,
sticking a finger up as if lecturing Zuko. "-Mist can be very soothing. The simplest shift of nature can aid in inducing
sleep. So anyway, I made a mist to help calm him down. He was skeptical at first, but we convinced him there was
nothing to worry about. And he believed us." Katara sighed softly, a smile dancing on her lips as she recalled that
night.
"It sounds like it was very important to you." Zuko stated.
Katara blinked. "Ah, what?"
Zuko sat back, meeting Katara's confused gaze. "That he listened to you. I mean, about being ready for the firelord. You
never liked seeing him upset."
"Of course not! I don't like seeing any of my family or friends upset!" Katara fiddled with her hair, a strange unease
overcoming her. "We've all suffered enough, we don't need more strife. If someone needs me I'm going to help them, no
matter what." With a sigh she calmed herself, enough to smile at the firelord. "And that includes you too. So don't shut
us out."
Zuko didn't need clarifying on her last statement, knowing it was referring to the Yu Dao situation. He had foolishly
thought he could save the colonies on his own, neglecting to inform Aang and the group of his concerns about the
families, and nearly severing relations with the Earth King. Iroh had given him an earful when he awoke in the Jasmine
Dragon. "Believe me, I don't intend to burn bridges again. I know I need to accept help sometimes...thats why I asked
you all to come. And now I need help getting my sister healthy."
Katara nodded, walking around the bed to place a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "We're going to take care of her. Don't worry,
Zuko. You should try to sleep."
The firelord nodded, patting her hand. "As long as you do the same. The kitchen always has tea available."
"Thanks. But I think I'll be okay." Katara left her friend to his own thoughts, drifting back to the silent hallway. But
instead of walking to her own room, she found herself seeking out Aang's and opening the door. The young Avatar was
sound asleep, with Momo curled out on his stomach. She smiled at the sight, stepping closer to the bed.
She bent down, caressing Aang's cheek as her eyes drifted up and down his half covered body. He hadn't even bother
dressing in the night clothes provided, still wearing his tunic and pants from earlier that day. "I love you..." She
whispered, even through she knew wouldn't hear. "And I know you love me."
Katara closed her eyes, gently kissing Aang's lips, which caused a smile to play on his own. "You've grown so strong,
ever since you defeated Ozai. Still the silly, fun-loving guy I've always known...but ready to do the job at a moments
notice. The world still needs you...and you still need me, right?" She was glad Aang remained alseep, grabbing one last
glance at him before retreating from his room.
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The next morning started in a sluggish fashion, starting with Katara being the first to enter the palace's lavish dining
room. She chose a random chair, sitting down while the servants offered her toasted bread and pastries. She declined,
not having an apetite yet.
Sokka was the next one to arrive, with Suki huddled in his arms. Suki was on break from guard duty, and planned to spend
her time well. The pair waved to Katara, sitting across from her. "Hey sis!"
"Good morning, Sokka. Suki." Katara gave a slight smile, watching the two. "I see you're enjoying the morning already."
"Indeed." Suki responded. "Bellavaine and Ty Lee are with Zuko now, do I'm getting my Sokka fix while I can.
Sokka snickered. "I'm a fix."
"It's amazing you still have such a strong flame between you two. How do you manage when you spend so much time apart?"
Katara asked, genuinely amazed and curious.
Suki puased for a moment before answering. "I'm not really sure. We just do....We both know we have our separate duties,
but it doesn't matter."
Sokka added his two cents. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And boy, are we fond of each other."
"You shouldn't do that at the breakfast table, Sokka." Aang stated, walking into the room while everyone conversed. He
of course planted himself next to Katara, and kissed her cheek.
"Do what?" Suki questioned. "We were just talking."
Aang frowned, glancing between the two lovers. "But I heard you say-"
"You heard wrong." Sokka interrupted, somehow knowing what Aang thought he said. "I was not fondling Suki!"
"Ugh, Sokka!" Katara hissed, waving a finger at her brother. "Must you use such language first thing in the morning! Be
decent!"
Sokka shot his arms in to the air. "I am! Aang is-"
"Don't blame Aang for your dirty mind!" Katara warned, already bending the water out of a pitcher. Sokka reacted
quickly, grabbing a plate to deflect the pending water strike.
Aang saw a fight brewing, and tried to intervene. "Hey, now, lets all just calm down-"
"What are all of you doing in my dining room?" Zuko's voice broke in, as the firelord stared at them from the doorway.
"Are you starting a fight in here?"
"No, no." Katara quickly changed her demeanor, calming herself down and placing the water back into the pitcher. "We
were...just talking."
"Talking with bending and plates?" Zuko shook his head deciding he didn't want to know, and sitting down near Sokka and
Suki. "Azula woke up this morning, but she's still pretty feverish. The physician said she'll need to rest for a few
days."
"That's great!" Katara spoke up, happy for Zuko. "At least it wasn't very serious."
Silence followed, as Sokka and Aang glanced to each other. "Great...So why did you let her out again?"
Zuko sighed, knowing he'd have to explain sooner or later. "Well, I let her out-"
"Firelord!" A uniformed general burst through the dining room doors, interrupting Zuko's speech. "Forgive the intrusion,
but trouble brews."
"What? What is it?" Zuko paused, remembering the presence of the servants, and instructed them to leave. "Now, tell me."
The general, a middle aged man by the name of Mak, kneeling before Zuko. "We received reports that one of our military
training school have been attacked. Also, a storage facility fifty miles to the west was also attacked, in the exact same manor. We expect it was an organized effort."
"Was it a rebel attack?" Aang questioned, rising from his seat.
"Possibly. It occurred yesterday, injuring many of our junior soldiers and guards. In the wreckage we found one of their
banners, from a group called 'The New Ozai Society.'"
Zuko clenched his fists. "Loyalists of my father? They won't last long. Mak, prepare a company to march down. I am going
down myself and-"
"Wait!" Aang intervened, waving his hand. "Zuko, isn't that a little impulsive? This could be a trap."
"What?" Zuko stared at the avatar. "Why would it be a trap?"
"Because you're unpopular?" Sokka chimed in. "It's not reasonable. You were leading the army in Yu Dao, it's not
unreasonable that this rebel group would think you'd lead troops down there too."
"He's right." Suki agreed, standing as well. "As your bodyguard I insist that you entrust this to General Mak."
Zuko groaned, becoming flustered with the sudden opposition. They had good points, but he sending others to do his
dirty work. "I appreciate your concern, but-"
"Zuko." Aang started. "I'll go down with General Mak's soldiers. That way if it does turn out be a trap, I'll be able to
help."
"I'll go with you, buddy." Sokka gave a thumbs up. "Show them some water tribe power!"
Zuko shook his head. "I didn't agree to any of this yet!"
Suki gave him a grin. "Well, if you want, we could always your uncle to help out."
Zuko directed a sour look at her. While he knew Iroh had decades of experience in combat, he didn't want to trouble the
elder any more then he had already.
"It's ok, Zuko. We'll take care of it. Plus, with Azula in the palace it would be wise for you to stay and keep an eye
on her." Aang gave the firelord a thumbs up. "We'll get ready right away.
Katara rubbed her hands together as Aang reminded them all of Azula. The sick teenager who was just starting to recover from a mysterious fever, and one of the most dangerous people she knew. "You're right, Aang. Azula does need to be watched...So I'll stay here and help Zuko do that."
Aang was surprised at her decision, assuming she would join him. "Oh...ok. Take care." He gave her a quick hug, noticing she failed to return it and departed the room with Sokka and Mak.
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With nobody left in the mood for breakfast, Katara, Suki and Zuko went to their respective schedules. Suki checked in
with the Kyoshi warriors, and went over the security procedures with the normal palace guards. Extra alert was called
for, as Azula was awake now, albeit still resting in her room.
Katara drifted in and out of her room, to Azula's, and back again. With the family's physician looking after her, and the Kyoshi's guarding her, she started to feel somewhat useless. She had stayed behind in case Azula tried something, but with her being sick that seemed rather unlikely, leaving her with little to do. She missed Aang already, feeling a deep ache at his absence. It seemed wrong that they separated so easily, with only a hug as goodbye. Why didn't he kiss her? Why didn't he appear miserable at the thought of leaving her? The nagging feeling refused to leave, hovering over her as she roamed the halls.
Zuko had returned to the throne, taking care of royal duties and meeting with Iroh. He was glad to have his uncle around
again, finding that he missed him greatly. The letters that were sent were barely a substitute for having the man by his
side. After the days work they finished with tea and several attempts at Pai sho lessons.
It wasn't until evening when Zuko saw Katara again, sitting in Azula's room near the window. His sister was asleep at
the moment, so he kept his voice down. "Hey. Were you here all day?"
"No." Came a wooden reply, as Katara continued to stare out the window.
Zuko frowned, approaching the waterbender. "Are you ok." It wasn't like Katara to speak in monotone.
"I'm fine."
That was even more concerning. Zuko gently laid a hand on Katara, kneeling beside her. "You don't sound fine. It's not
like you to hold something in."
Katara tensed, her tearing up before jerking her head to Zuko. "Allright, I'm not fine. Happy now? Aang left!"
Zuko took a moment before answering. "You're upset because Aang left to help my nation?"
The accusation in Zuko's voice only served to rile her further, and she stood from the chair. "I should have gone with
him. We always did missions together! Why would this be any different?"
Zuko was thoroughly confused. "I...don't know. If you wanted to go, why didn't you?"
Katara wiped at her face. "He didn't ask me!"
"You stated you wanted to stay. He respected your choice. What did you expect?"
The honest question shattered Katara's anger, forcing her to face her unreasonable mood. But, even if she had no right
to act this way, it still hurt that Aang accepted her absence so readily. "I don't know. I don't know what I expected!"
The tears flowed freely down her face, and she turned from Zuko, fleeing the room.
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Aang couldn't sleep. He tried, for hours, tossing and turning in his bedroll. General Mak and his small group of soldiers made camp for the night, the men taking turns at patrolling. Sokka had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but Aang had no such luck.
He couldn't shake the feeling of being hollow, of having left a piece of himself behind. And of course, he knew why. He missed Katara. He loved Katara, and without her, everything was different. However, this wasn't the first time they separated for the sake of duty, and both of them were strong enough to be left alone for a few days.
But there was something more then that, Aang could tell. Every instinct told him this was different, that this absence was wrong. That he shouldn't have let Katara stay behind. He had felt it in her stiffness when he embraced her, but he shrugged it off because there was a mission to complete.
Aang's mind churned, generating explanations for the slight, for why Katara refused to hug him. When he had left, she didn't appear angry, which usual meant she wasn't. Katara didn't restrain herself when it came to emotions, and Aang was certain that he would have been told if Katara was feeling angry toward him.
She had been angry enough when she accused him of acting selfishly toward Yu Dao, but they had talked it out, and resolved it. So what was making her feel so distant now?
Aang stared up at the stars, but they had no answer either. He would have to put it out of his mind for now, until he could talk to Katara yet again. But still sleep eluded him.
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Zuko spotted Katara sitting alone at the dining table, still in the process of being prepare for breakfast, and froze at
the doorway. Considering her confusing anger the previous evening, he half expected the waterbender to start yelling at
him for something. Still, he gathered his courage, and sat across from her. "...Good morning."
Katara sighed, lifting her gaze from the tabletop, to the firebender. "It's morning, but I'm not sure it's good." There
was a plate of delicious pastries in front of her, but she held little interest in them.
"Is it about yesterday? If you miss Aang that much, I can arrange for secure transport."
Katara's mouth twisted into a sad smile. "Thanks, but I'm not so desperate that I need to chase after him after only
twenty four hours."
"Ok." Zuko fiddled with his hands before grabbing a cup of water. He sipped it, looking everywhere except her before he
felt a need to break the silence. "Because, last night you seemed-"
"I know."
Zuko wished the cooks would hurry up with his breakfast, so he could eat and get out of there faster. He wasn't good at
having heart to hearts with people! It seemed like forever until a servant burst out the kitchen, placing his porridge
and fruit slices in front of him. Just as he was about to take a bite, he happened to glance at Katara again, and
paused. "You didn't sleep again."
"No, I didn't." Katara could tell that her short, choppy sentences was making Zuko uncomfortable. One part of her was
amused by his nervous fidgeting, while the other told her to simply spill it. "I couldn't sleep. Your last words stuck
with me."
Zuko rose an eyebrow. "Um, last words?"
"'What did you expect?'" Katara repeated, playing with the pastries in front of her. "You asked what I expected. I
answered that I didn't know. Of course, I said that because I was too angry to answer questions. To even think about
answering the question. But last night, I realized what I said was the truth."
Zuko stirred his porridge, adding some sliced strawberries to it. "...That you didn't know?"
Katara nodded. "That's right. I didn't know what I expected then. You were right. It was perfectly ok that he didn't try
to undermine my choice, because I am my own person, who knows her own mind. But...that's not what I wanted."
Zuko sighed, setting his food aside for now. He wasn't still good at emotional conversation, but at least he wasn't
fishing in the dark now. "...You wanted him to ask you, didn't you."
"Yes." Katara rubbed her forehead, the effects of staying up getting to her. "I wanted him to ask me to join him, even
after what I said. I....wanted him to want me with him."
"He does want you. Just because he left without you doesn't mean he was happy to leave you. But you know the old phrase,
'You gotta do what you gotta do'."
Katara broke apart a croissant, picking at the insides. "It's been so long since we had to address serious issues. I
guess it was jarring to be forced into it again. With the recent Yu Dao crisis, and now Azula and these rebels..."
Zuko sipped at the water again, thinking for a moment. "Hey, at least you had a year before business struck again."
"A year. A year since Aang and I kissed outside of the Jasmine Dragon. A year in which each day felt like a dream come
true." Katara leaned back into her chair, her gaze turning to the ceiling.
"And you will have many more days like that." Zuko lifted up his glass, of the fashion of a cheers, but Katara remained
distracted.
"What did I expect?"
Zuko froze, becoming confused again. "Uh..."
"Before the comet come, I had expectations. I expected if I let myself open my heart to Aang, that I would surely lose
him in the final battle. That's why I couldn't be with him, even though he wanted it desperately. I just couldn't do it,
becuase of what I expected to happen."
Zuko nodded slowly, trying to catch Katara's train of thought. "But he didn't die, and you two got together. And are
still very happy."
"And after we kissed...I didn't let myself think negatively about it. I lived in the moment, enjoying my time with
Aang. I didn't *let* myself have expectations." Katara slumped over onto the table, her mind racing. "And I think thats
the problem. For a year I lived in a happy bubble, never thinking of the past or the future. And now that reality is
bursting that bubble, I'm realizing I don't have an answer. What do I expect?"
Zuko rose, walking around the table to offer Katara a comforting hand on the shoulder. "It's not always easy to find an
answer."
"But it needs to be found. For a while now I've been restless, and haven't known why. Was it because I was jealous of
Aang's fangirls? Did I think I was too boring? Did I think I wasn't being listened to enough? But when you asked that
question, I kept asking it myself. What do I expect of my life? And I don't have an answer."
Zuko thought for a moment. "I felt the same way, once. When I was on the run from Azula and I didn't know how my life
would turn out. I needed answers too. I ended up separating from my uncle and going my own way, but it didn't really
help. Hey, maybe you should talk to Iroh. He's full of advice."
Katara widened her eyes, staring at Zuko as if he just revealed the grand meaning of life. "Yes...That's an idea. I'll
consider that. Thanks Zuko." She gave a pleasant smile, hugging him tightly before leaving the dining hall.
Zuko watched her go, sensing her mood was lighter, and grinned himself. "Hey, I actually helped. Not a bad way to start the day."
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AN: First authors note of the fic. Thanks to all who've been following so far. Next chapter get into the angsty parts, as Katara and Aang have a very serious talk.
I fully support the Katara/Aang pairing. I beleive they have a caring, mutual affection for each other that grew into a strong bond. I beleive Katara's affection for Aang is just as strong as his affection for her. I think they work as a happy couple.
That said, I am not against Zutara. I can see the appeal of it, but the functionality of it is more trickly. I disagree with those who say it's the more epic pairing of all time, that it was so obvious in the series. It wasn't. It's just a pairing that a lot of people happen to like.
I've read zutara fics, not to discredit them, but to get into the mind of the Zutara writer. And most times I've been
disappointed. Aang is turned into a whiny immature brat that drives Katara away, into the arms of Zuko. Mai is protrayed as a robot that either doesn't really care about Zuko, or is shoved to the sidelines when Zuko realizes he never loved her.
I feel that many of these author shift the characters of Zuko and Katara to fit the fic, to make them into an obvious perfect couple. I don't claim to be an expert on the characters, but these versions always felt off to me. So this fic was born, to give my take on the zutara pairing.
I will not be catergorizing this as Zutara or Kataang, or both, or neither. For those who are following this fic, I request that you read this for the sake of the story, for the journies the characters take, and not for your perferred ship. Until next time.
Again, Katara couldn't sleep, but this time she had a more concrete reason. Azula. Granted, the princess's care had been
taken over by the royal family's physician, but Katara was also a healer. And had treated Azula first, which made her
just as much Katara's patient.
Katara rose from her bed, donning her light blue dress before entering the hallway. As a guest of the firelord, the
guards let her roam as she wished, even entering the princess's chambers without hassle. Azula was still unconscious,
which the waterbender expected, but Zuko was also near by. The firelord was on the other side of the bed, hunched over
in a chair, and appeared to be falling asleep.
Katara watched him silently, feeling for the firebender. Even though the two were at odds, they were still siblings, and
Zuko obviously cared about her well being. She remember the few times Sokka had fallen ill throughout their childhood,
and whether serious or not Katara remained by his side.
"It's strange to see you two like this." Katara spoke, breaking the silence and startling Zuko. "I mean...After the Agni
Kai..."
Zuko sighed deeply, recovering after being spooked by the waterbender. "She's still my sister, no matter how many times
she tried to kill me. What are you doing awake?"
Katara neared Azula, seeing her sweat and shake even in her sleep. "I couldn't sleep. Been happening a lot recently."
"I've had that happen, myself." Zuko stretched his limbs, exiting the chair to poor a glass of water for himself. "Years
ago, when I was still hunting Aang. Well, before I knew his name was Aang. I think I nearly drove my uncle insane with
my insomnia." He paused, glancing over to the waterbender. "Is something troubling you?"
Katara was quick to shake her head. "No. I'm perfectly fine and happy." She retrieved a damp cloth, and placed on
Azula's forehead. "I am. Although maybe this incident over Yu Dao shook me up a little."
Zuko widened his eyes, pouring a second glass and offering it to Katara. "How so?"
Katara wasn't sure how to respond to that, as she herself couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. Was she uneasy about the
tentative peace that could be broken at a moments notice? Was it Kori's harsh words that she denied, affirmed when
speaking to Aang and then dismissed again? The only thing she did know for certain is that she couldn't sleep at night.
"Eh...it's not important."
Zuko gave her a pointed look. "Are you sure? Whatever it is...its disturbing your sleep cycle. It could have bad
repercussions..."
"I know." Katara cut off the firebender, fingering her loose hair. "I've seen that happen, actually, to Aang. Did we
ever tell you about the time Aang went without sleep? It was before the solar eclipse, and he was stressed about
fighting the firelord. It got so bad he hallucinated that Appa and Momo were having a samurai battle, surround by Koala
sheep cheerleaders!"
Zuko could tell she was changing the subject, going along with it. Whatever was bothering the girl, she obviously didn't
want to talk to him about it. He set down the ignored cup, and settled back into his chair. "Sounds like a dozy of
daydream. But at a bad time, though."
"Yeah...but we got him to sleep. Sokka, Toph and I. We spent hours shaving a flock of Koala sheep, Sokka and I shaved
while Toph kneaded it together, and made a bed. When he was coming back to camp, I made a mist-" She cut herself off,
sticking a finger up as if lecturing Zuko. "-Mist can be very soothing. The simplest shift of nature can aid in inducing
sleep. So anyway, I made a mist to help calm him down. He was skeptical at first, but we convinced him there was
nothing to worry about. And he believed us." Katara sighed softly, a smile dancing on her lips as she recalled that
night.
"It sounds like it was very important to you." Zuko stated.
Katara blinked. "Ah, what?"
Zuko sat back, meeting Katara's confused gaze. "That he listened to you. I mean, about being ready for the firelord. You
never liked seeing him upset."
"Of course not! I don't like seeing any of my family or friends upset!" Katara fiddled with her hair, a strange unease
overcoming her. "We've all suffered enough, we don't need more strife. If someone needs me I'm going to help them, no
matter what." With a sigh she calmed herself, enough to smile at the firelord. "And that includes you too. So don't shut
us out."
Zuko didn't need clarifying on her last statement, knowing it was referring to the Yu Dao situation. He had foolishly
thought he could save the colonies on his own, neglecting to inform Aang and the group of his concerns about the
families, and nearly severing relations with the Earth King. Iroh had given him an earful when he awoke in the Jasmine
Dragon. "Believe me, I don't intend to burn bridges again. I know I need to accept help sometimes...thats why I asked
you all to come. And now I need help getting my sister healthy."
Katara nodded, walking around the bed to place a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "We're going to take care of her. Don't worry,
Zuko. You should try to sleep."
The firelord nodded, patting her hand. "As long as you do the same. The kitchen always has tea available."
"Thanks. But I think I'll be okay." Katara left her friend to his own thoughts, drifting back to the silent hallway. But
instead of walking to her own room, she found herself seeking out Aang's and opening the door. The young Avatar was
sound asleep, with Momo curled out on his stomach. She smiled at the sight, stepping closer to the bed.
She bent down, caressing Aang's cheek as her eyes drifted up and down his half covered body. He hadn't even bother
dressing in the night clothes provided, still wearing his tunic and pants from earlier that day. "I love you..." She
whispered, even through she knew wouldn't hear. "And I know you love me."
Katara closed her eyes, gently kissing Aang's lips, which caused a smile to play on his own. "You've grown so strong,
ever since you defeated Ozai. Still the silly, fun-loving guy I've always known...but ready to do the job at a moments
notice. The world still needs you...and you still need me, right?" She was glad Aang remained alseep, grabbing one last
glance at him before retreating from his room.
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The next morning started in a sluggish fashion, starting with Katara being the first to enter the palace's lavish dining
room. She chose a random chair, sitting down while the servants offered her toasted bread and pastries. She declined,
not having an apetite yet.
Sokka was the next one to arrive, with Suki huddled in his arms. Suki was on break from guard duty, and planned to spend
her time well. The pair waved to Katara, sitting across from her. "Hey sis!"
"Good morning, Sokka. Suki." Katara gave a slight smile, watching the two. "I see you're enjoying the morning already."
"Indeed." Suki responded. "Bellavaine and Ty Lee are with Zuko now, do I'm getting my Sokka fix while I can.
Sokka snickered. "I'm a fix."
"It's amazing you still have such a strong flame between you two. How do you manage when you spend so much time apart?"
Katara asked, genuinely amazed and curious.
Suki puased for a moment before answering. "I'm not really sure. We just do....We both know we have our separate duties,
but it doesn't matter."
Sokka added his two cents. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And boy, are we fond of each other."
"You shouldn't do that at the breakfast table, Sokka." Aang stated, walking into the room while everyone conversed. He
of course planted himself next to Katara, and kissed her cheek.
"Do what?" Suki questioned. "We were just talking."
Aang frowned, glancing between the two lovers. "But I heard you say-"
"You heard wrong." Sokka interrupted, somehow knowing what Aang thought he said. "I was not fondling Suki!"
"Ugh, Sokka!" Katara hissed, waving a finger at her brother. "Must you use such language first thing in the morning! Be
decent!"
Sokka shot his arms in to the air. "I am! Aang is-"
"Don't blame Aang for your dirty mind!" Katara warned, already bending the water out of a pitcher. Sokka reacted
quickly, grabbing a plate to deflect the pending water strike.
Aang saw a fight brewing, and tried to intervene. "Hey, now, lets all just calm down-"
"What are all of you doing in my dining room?" Zuko's voice broke in, as the firelord stared at them from the doorway.
"Are you starting a fight in here?"
"No, no." Katara quickly changed her demeanor, calming herself down and placing the water back into the pitcher. "We
were...just talking."
"Talking with bending and plates?" Zuko shook his head deciding he didn't want to know, and sitting down near Sokka and
Suki. "Azula woke up this morning, but she's still pretty feverish. The physician said she'll need to rest for a few
days."
"That's great!" Katara spoke up, happy for Zuko. "At least it wasn't very serious."
Silence followed, as Sokka and Aang glanced to each other. "Great...So why did you let her out again?"
Zuko sighed, knowing he'd have to explain sooner or later. "Well, I let her out-"
"Firelord!" A uniformed general burst through the dining room doors, interrupting Zuko's speech. "Forgive the intrusion,
but trouble brews."
"What? What is it?" Zuko paused, remembering the presence of the servants, and instructed them to leave. "Now, tell me."
The general, a middle aged man by the name of Mak, kneeling before Zuko. "We received reports that one of our military
training school have been attacked. Also, a storage facility fifty miles to the west was also attacked, in the exact same manor. We expect it was an organized effort."
"Was it a rebel attack?" Aang questioned, rising from his seat.
"Possibly. It occurred yesterday, injuring many of our junior soldiers and guards. In the wreckage we found one of their
banners, from a group called 'The New Ozai Society.'"
Zuko clenched his fists. "Loyalists of my father? They won't last long. Mak, prepare a company to march down. I am going
down myself and-"
"Wait!" Aang intervened, waving his hand. "Zuko, isn't that a little impulsive? This could be a trap."
"What?" Zuko stared at the avatar. "Why would it be a trap?"
"Because you're unpopular?" Sokka chimed in. "It's not reasonable. You were leading the army in Yu Dao, it's not
unreasonable that this rebel group would think you'd lead troops down there too."
"He's right." Suki agreed, standing as well. "As your bodyguard I insist that you entrust this to General Mak."
Zuko groaned, becoming flustered with the sudden opposition. They had good points, but he sending others to do his
dirty work. "I appreciate your concern, but-"
"Zuko." Aang started. "I'll go down with General Mak's soldiers. That way if it does turn out be a trap, I'll be able to
help."
"I'll go with you, buddy." Sokka gave a thumbs up. "Show them some water tribe power!"
Zuko shook his head. "I didn't agree to any of this yet!"
Suki gave him a grin. "Well, if you want, we could always your uncle to help out."
Zuko directed a sour look at her. While he knew Iroh had decades of experience in combat, he didn't want to trouble the
elder any more then he had already.
"It's ok, Zuko. We'll take care of it. Plus, with Azula in the palace it would be wise for you to stay and keep an eye
on her." Aang gave the firelord a thumbs up. "We'll get ready right away.
Katara rubbed her hands together as Aang reminded them all of Azula. The sick teenager who was just starting to recover from a mysterious fever, and one of the most dangerous people she knew. "You're right, Aang. Azula does need to be watched...So I'll stay here and help Zuko do that."
Aang was surprised at her decision, assuming she would join him. "Oh...ok. Take care." He gave her a quick hug, noticing she failed to return it and departed the room with Sokka and Mak.
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With nobody left in the mood for breakfast, Katara, Suki and Zuko went to their respective schedules. Suki checked in
with the Kyoshi warriors, and went over the security procedures with the normal palace guards. Extra alert was called
for, as Azula was awake now, albeit still resting in her room.
Katara drifted in and out of her room, to Azula's, and back again. With the family's physician looking after her, and the Kyoshi's guarding her, she started to feel somewhat useless. She had stayed behind in case Azula tried something, but with her being sick that seemed rather unlikely, leaving her with little to do. She missed Aang already, feeling a deep ache at his absence. It seemed wrong that they separated so easily, with only a hug as goodbye. Why didn't he kiss her? Why didn't he appear miserable at the thought of leaving her? The nagging feeling refused to leave, hovering over her as she roamed the halls.
Zuko had returned to the throne, taking care of royal duties and meeting with Iroh. He was glad to have his uncle around
again, finding that he missed him greatly. The letters that were sent were barely a substitute for having the man by his
side. After the days work they finished with tea and several attempts at Pai sho lessons.
It wasn't until evening when Zuko saw Katara again, sitting in Azula's room near the window. His sister was asleep at
the moment, so he kept his voice down. "Hey. Were you here all day?"
"No." Came a wooden reply, as Katara continued to stare out the window.
Zuko frowned, approaching the waterbender. "Are you ok." It wasn't like Katara to speak in monotone.
"I'm fine."
That was even more concerning. Zuko gently laid a hand on Katara, kneeling beside her. "You don't sound fine. It's not
like you to hold something in."
Katara tensed, her tearing up before jerking her head to Zuko. "Allright, I'm not fine. Happy now? Aang left!"
Zuko took a moment before answering. "You're upset because Aang left to help my nation?"
The accusation in Zuko's voice only served to rile her further, and she stood from the chair. "I should have gone with
him. We always did missions together! Why would this be any different?"
Zuko was thoroughly confused. "I...don't know. If you wanted to go, why didn't you?"
Katara wiped at her face. "He didn't ask me!"
"You stated you wanted to stay. He respected your choice. What did you expect?"
The honest question shattered Katara's anger, forcing her to face her unreasonable mood. But, even if she had no right
to act this way, it still hurt that Aang accepted her absence so readily. "I don't know. I don't know what I expected!"
The tears flowed freely down her face, and she turned from Zuko, fleeing the room.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Aang couldn't sleep. He tried, for hours, tossing and turning in his bedroll. General Mak and his small group of soldiers made camp for the night, the men taking turns at patrolling. Sokka had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but Aang had no such luck.
He couldn't shake the feeling of being hollow, of having left a piece of himself behind. And of course, he knew why. He missed Katara. He loved Katara, and without her, everything was different. However, this wasn't the first time they separated for the sake of duty, and both of them were strong enough to be left alone for a few days.
But there was something more then that, Aang could tell. Every instinct told him this was different, that this absence was wrong. That he shouldn't have let Katara stay behind. He had felt it in her stiffness when he embraced her, but he shrugged it off because there was a mission to complete.
Aang's mind churned, generating explanations for the slight, for why Katara refused to hug him. When he had left, she didn't appear angry, which usual meant she wasn't. Katara didn't restrain herself when it came to emotions, and Aang was certain that he would have been told if Katara was feeling angry toward him.
She had been angry enough when she accused him of acting selfishly toward Yu Dao, but they had talked it out, and resolved it. So what was making her feel so distant now?
Aang stared up at the stars, but they had no answer either. He would have to put it out of his mind for now, until he could talk to Katara yet again. But still sleep eluded him.
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Zuko spotted Katara sitting alone at the dining table, still in the process of being prepare for breakfast, and froze at
the doorway. Considering her confusing anger the previous evening, he half expected the waterbender to start yelling at
him for something. Still, he gathered his courage, and sat across from her. "...Good morning."
Katara sighed, lifting her gaze from the tabletop, to the firebender. "It's morning, but I'm not sure it's good." There
was a plate of delicious pastries in front of her, but she held little interest in them.
"Is it about yesterday? If you miss Aang that much, I can arrange for secure transport."
Katara's mouth twisted into a sad smile. "Thanks, but I'm not so desperate that I need to chase after him after only
twenty four hours."
"Ok." Zuko fiddled with his hands before grabbing a cup of water. He sipped it, looking everywhere except her before he
felt a need to break the silence. "Because, last night you seemed-"
"I know."
Zuko wished the cooks would hurry up with his breakfast, so he could eat and get out of there faster. He wasn't good at
having heart to hearts with people! It seemed like forever until a servant burst out the kitchen, placing his porridge
and fruit slices in front of him. Just as he was about to take a bite, he happened to glance at Katara again, and
paused. "You didn't sleep again."
"No, I didn't." Katara could tell that her short, choppy sentences was making Zuko uncomfortable. One part of her was
amused by his nervous fidgeting, while the other told her to simply spill it. "I couldn't sleep. Your last words stuck
with me."
Zuko rose an eyebrow. "Um, last words?"
"'What did you expect?'" Katara repeated, playing with the pastries in front of her. "You asked what I expected. I
answered that I didn't know. Of course, I said that because I was too angry to answer questions. To even think about
answering the question. But last night, I realized what I said was the truth."
Zuko stirred his porridge, adding some sliced strawberries to it. "...That you didn't know?"
Katara nodded. "That's right. I didn't know what I expected then. You were right. It was perfectly ok that he didn't try
to undermine my choice, because I am my own person, who knows her own mind. But...that's not what I wanted."
Zuko sighed, setting his food aside for now. He wasn't still good at emotional conversation, but at least he wasn't
fishing in the dark now. "...You wanted him to ask you, didn't you."
"Yes." Katara rubbed her forehead, the effects of staying up getting to her. "I wanted him to ask me to join him, even
after what I said. I....wanted him to want me with him."
"He does want you. Just because he left without you doesn't mean he was happy to leave you. But you know the old phrase,
'You gotta do what you gotta do'."
Katara broke apart a croissant, picking at the insides. "It's been so long since we had to address serious issues. I
guess it was jarring to be forced into it again. With the recent Yu Dao crisis, and now Azula and these rebels..."
Zuko sipped at the water again, thinking for a moment. "Hey, at least you had a year before business struck again."
"A year. A year since Aang and I kissed outside of the Jasmine Dragon. A year in which each day felt like a dream come
true." Katara leaned back into her chair, her gaze turning to the ceiling.
"And you will have many more days like that." Zuko lifted up his glass, of the fashion of a cheers, but Katara remained
distracted.
"What did I expect?"
Zuko froze, becoming confused again. "Uh..."
"Before the comet come, I had expectations. I expected if I let myself open my heart to Aang, that I would surely lose
him in the final battle. That's why I couldn't be with him, even though he wanted it desperately. I just couldn't do it,
becuase of what I expected to happen."
Zuko nodded slowly, trying to catch Katara's train of thought. "But he didn't die, and you two got together. And are
still very happy."
"And after we kissed...I didn't let myself think negatively about it. I lived in the moment, enjoying my time with
Aang. I didn't *let* myself have expectations." Katara slumped over onto the table, her mind racing. "And I think thats
the problem. For a year I lived in a happy bubble, never thinking of the past or the future. And now that reality is
bursting that bubble, I'm realizing I don't have an answer. What do I expect?"
Zuko rose, walking around the table to offer Katara a comforting hand on the shoulder. "It's not always easy to find an
answer."
"But it needs to be found. For a while now I've been restless, and haven't known why. Was it because I was jealous of
Aang's fangirls? Did I think I was too boring? Did I think I wasn't being listened to enough? But when you asked that
question, I kept asking it myself. What do I expect of my life? And I don't have an answer."
Zuko thought for a moment. "I felt the same way, once. When I was on the run from Azula and I didn't know how my life
would turn out. I needed answers too. I ended up separating from my uncle and going my own way, but it didn't really
help. Hey, maybe you should talk to Iroh. He's full of advice."
Katara widened her eyes, staring at Zuko as if he just revealed the grand meaning of life. "Yes...That's an idea. I'll
consider that. Thanks Zuko." She gave a pleasant smile, hugging him tightly before leaving the dining hall.
Zuko watched her go, sensing her mood was lighter, and grinned himself. "Hey, I actually helped. Not a bad way to start the day."
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AN: First authors note of the fic. Thanks to all who've been following so far. Next chapter get into the angsty parts, as Katara and Aang have a very serious talk.
I fully support the Katara/Aang pairing. I beleive they have a caring, mutual affection for each other that grew into a strong bond. I beleive Katara's affection for Aang is just as strong as his affection for her. I think they work as a happy couple.
That said, I am not against Zutara. I can see the appeal of it, but the functionality of it is more trickly. I disagree with those who say it's the more epic pairing of all time, that it was so obvious in the series. It wasn't. It's just a pairing that a lot of people happen to like.
I've read zutara fics, not to discredit them, but to get into the mind of the Zutara writer. And most times I've been
disappointed. Aang is turned into a whiny immature brat that drives Katara away, into the arms of Zuko. Mai is protrayed as a robot that either doesn't really care about Zuko, or is shoved to the sidelines when Zuko realizes he never loved her.
I feel that many of these author shift the characters of Zuko and Katara to fit the fic, to make them into an obvious perfect couple. I don't claim to be an expert on the characters, but these versions always felt off to me. So this fic was born, to give my take on the zutara pairing.
I will not be catergorizing this as Zutara or Kataang, or both, or neither. For those who are following this fic, I request that you read this for the sake of the story, for the journies the characters take, and not for your perferred ship. Until next time.