(no subject)
I feel my life turning into a massive bundle of uncertainty right before my eyes, and i'm powerless to stop it. Within the next weeks/months, i might need to quit my job and find another one, i might be going to uni, i might need to move back home away from my boyfriend. Nothing in my life is going to be the same. Nothing will be for the better.
I'm going to uni because i'm a lost cause and I don't know what else to do with myself. My sisters have both finished uni, got successful jobs, buying houses etc. They're building a life for themselves. I'm nothing. My parents are ashamed of me...as am I. My sisters are both so wonderful and happy and beautiful and social and basically put me to shame in every way. Not through any fault of their own, purely through my inadequacies. I'm so scared of what I don't know. The idea of getting a new job is freaking me out, the idea of not having a job is freaking me out. I get sad to think that i might not be able to live with Chad anymore. I just want something to be certain.
I just wish I had some purpose in life. Some interest, or talent, or...anything. I'm just not very good at anything. I can't keep floating through life with no purpose. It's destroying me.
Also I feel fat and ugly. Eating a whole lot of cookie dough earlier probably wasn't such a crash hot idea. Lesson learned.
I'm going to uni because i'm a lost cause and I don't know what else to do with myself. My sisters have both finished uni, got successful jobs, buying houses etc. They're building a life for themselves. I'm nothing. My parents are ashamed of me...as am I. My sisters are both so wonderful and happy and beautiful and social and basically put me to shame in every way. Not through any fault of their own, purely through my inadequacies. I'm so scared of what I don't know. The idea of getting a new job is freaking me out, the idea of not having a job is freaking me out. I get sad to think that i might not be able to live with Chad anymore. I just want something to be certain.
I just wish I had some purpose in life. Some interest, or talent, or...anything. I'm just not very good at anything. I can't keep floating through life with no purpose. It's destroying me.
Also I feel fat and ugly. Eating a whole lot of cookie dough earlier probably wasn't such a crash hot idea. Lesson learned.