remember how it was
I guess this journal is going to be an attempt to rectify the current journal situation. That is, completely ignoring it. I figure I'm more likely to type a journal than to actually write it so, I guess we'll see.
I'm sick at the moment, and feeling oh so sorry for myself. I hate being sick. It just makes me sad. And of course i'm sick for both my days off this week. Good thing I didn't want to do anything with them*rolls eyes*. Ugh. I'll probably need to go to the doctor tomorrow if i'm not better, the thought of which makes me shudder. Oh how I hate doctors.
Nothing much is happening at the moment. I'm trying to make something happen though. That's probably not a good thing though. I used to wish for something bad to happen to me to make my life interesting, and then it did. And then it ruined everything I ever knew. A few good things did come of it, but it definitely wasn't worth the trouble. It's probably my biggest ever regret. So you'd think i'd learn just to let things happen on their own. Stop wanting and hoping and dreaming. It can only end in disaster...right?
This time though, I want that something to be a good thing. I want to go away somewhere, just to mix it up a little. Overseas preferably. I've got this problem where I deferred uni(again), and i'm back in my old retail job which isn't getting me anywhere. So, I need to either find a good job, one which is somewhat career oriented, or just use this retail job to earn money to go overseas. That is the only way it would be ok for me to stay in the job in which I currently find myself. And truth be known, I can't be fucked looking for a new job at the moment. I just don't have it in me. So given those circumstances, it looks like I *need* to go overseas, it seems only right.
I'm torn however by choice of destination. I want to just go somewhere for a holiday just made for relaxing because that's what i really need right now, but by the same token, I want adventure and to explore. Maybe I could do both. The other problem which faces me is who I can go with. I don't want to go by myself for my first trip overseas. Chad, my bf would love so much to come with me but he just doesn't have the money at the moment. He's saving for other important stuff, non-going-overseas-with-me-stuff. Sigh.
In other news...Ed Harcourt. Interesting. I haven't listened to him in about a year and it feels really wierd. It's one of those cds i bought because i oh so badly wanted it, and then never listened to it. So i've never even heard any of these songs before. I really like some of them though. Especially "Something to live for". They are all very happy-sad songs, which in any context, is never a bad thing.....there's always something to live for.
Goodnight kids.
I'm sick at the moment, and feeling oh so sorry for myself. I hate being sick. It just makes me sad. And of course i'm sick for both my days off this week. Good thing I didn't want to do anything with them*rolls eyes*. Ugh. I'll probably need to go to the doctor tomorrow if i'm not better, the thought of which makes me shudder. Oh how I hate doctors.
Nothing much is happening at the moment. I'm trying to make something happen though. That's probably not a good thing though. I used to wish for something bad to happen to me to make my life interesting, and then it did. And then it ruined everything I ever knew. A few good things did come of it, but it definitely wasn't worth the trouble. It's probably my biggest ever regret. So you'd think i'd learn just to let things happen on their own. Stop wanting and hoping and dreaming. It can only end in disaster...right?
This time though, I want that something to be a good thing. I want to go away somewhere, just to mix it up a little. Overseas preferably. I've got this problem where I deferred uni(again), and i'm back in my old retail job which isn't getting me anywhere. So, I need to either find a good job, one which is somewhat career oriented, or just use this retail job to earn money to go overseas. That is the only way it would be ok for me to stay in the job in which I currently find myself. And truth be known, I can't be fucked looking for a new job at the moment. I just don't have it in me. So given those circumstances, it looks like I *need* to go overseas, it seems only right.
I'm torn however by choice of destination. I want to just go somewhere for a holiday just made for relaxing because that's what i really need right now, but by the same token, I want adventure and to explore. Maybe I could do both. The other problem which faces me is who I can go with. I don't want to go by myself for my first trip overseas. Chad, my bf would love so much to come with me but he just doesn't have the money at the moment. He's saving for other important stuff, non-going-overseas-with-me-stuff. Sigh.
In other news...Ed Harcourt. Interesting. I haven't listened to him in about a year and it feels really wierd. It's one of those cds i bought because i oh so badly wanted it, and then never listened to it. So i've never even heard any of these songs before. I really like some of them though. Especially "Something to live for". They are all very happy-sad songs, which in any context, is never a bad thing.....there's always something to live for.
Goodnight kids.