Party Castle Pirate Cave
Yay, internet for all!!
Very little has happened in the previous month or so when I was without internet. Hmm. That's sad. Sad pathetic but also sad-sad. *sniff* I've finally started on anti-depressants, about 2 weeks ago, and although I've hardly noticed a difference yet, I think it can only be good at this stage. The last few months i've been uncontrollably miserable and it was dragging everyone down. I hated myself more than ever and I just felt awful. I'm not feeling that bad now though, and that's the main thing. I was really scared that it would change me. I don't remember anything other than sadness, and it's wierd to think that in a matter of weeks, I could be a completely different person. That makes me somewhat uneasy. I hope being happy comes with an intruction book.
Tonight was The Mountain Goats gig at Jive. I should be there, but i'm here. I procrastinated for a good 3 weeks about going, and eventually the procrastination made my mind up for me, as Chad walked out the door while I was still deciding. Guess i'm staying home. It all started when I decided to go to this gig, and then I found out my ex-boyfriend was going to be there. At first I thought I'd go, regardless. Be strong and show him how i've got over him. The other side of me thought I probably shouldn't go, as I feared I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from beating the shit out of him. That, and also he was going first, and I didn't want to ruin the night for our mutual friends when he became all pouty and stroppy that I was there, as he would surely do. Then last night, I decided that I was going to go. Go, and have a good time. No matter what. That was until I had a nightmare in the wee hours of this morning about the whole episode. I dreamt that I got into a fight with Freddie, and everyone thought he was awesome, and I was just a crazy psycho bitch who was causing trouble. I got kicked out of the venue....I woke in a hot sweat and completely spun out. I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. It was so real, I knew something like that would happen if I were to go. So I was scared and didn't go, so here I am. I don't want him to rule my life but apparently I'm too weak and pathetic.
I'm starting to ramble now...not that it matters though, cause nobody actually reads this shit. Fuck, I don't even read it so how can I expect other people to digest this tripe. Mmm, stomachy goodness.
Oh yeah, and we moved house!! We now live in the Party Castle Pirate Cave, Glengowrie. It's the hip place to be....that's the word on the street anyway.
Very little has happened in the previous month or so when I was without internet. Hmm. That's sad. Sad pathetic but also sad-sad. *sniff* I've finally started on anti-depressants, about 2 weeks ago, and although I've hardly noticed a difference yet, I think it can only be good at this stage. The last few months i've been uncontrollably miserable and it was dragging everyone down. I hated myself more than ever and I just felt awful. I'm not feeling that bad now though, and that's the main thing. I was really scared that it would change me. I don't remember anything other than sadness, and it's wierd to think that in a matter of weeks, I could be a completely different person. That makes me somewhat uneasy. I hope being happy comes with an intruction book.
Tonight was The Mountain Goats gig at Jive. I should be there, but i'm here. I procrastinated for a good 3 weeks about going, and eventually the procrastination made my mind up for me, as Chad walked out the door while I was still deciding. Guess i'm staying home. It all started when I decided to go to this gig, and then I found out my ex-boyfriend was going to be there. At first I thought I'd go, regardless. Be strong and show him how i've got over him. The other side of me thought I probably shouldn't go, as I feared I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from beating the shit out of him. That, and also he was going first, and I didn't want to ruin the night for our mutual friends when he became all pouty and stroppy that I was there, as he would surely do. Then last night, I decided that I was going to go. Go, and have a good time. No matter what. That was until I had a nightmare in the wee hours of this morning about the whole episode. I dreamt that I got into a fight with Freddie, and everyone thought he was awesome, and I was just a crazy psycho bitch who was causing trouble. I got kicked out of the venue....I woke in a hot sweat and completely spun out. I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. It was so real, I knew something like that would happen if I were to go. So I was scared and didn't go, so here I am. I don't want him to rule my life but apparently I'm too weak and pathetic.
I'm starting to ramble now...not that it matters though, cause nobody actually reads this shit. Fuck, I don't even read it so how can I expect other people to digest this tripe. Mmm, stomachy goodness.
Oh yeah, and we moved house!! We now live in the Party Castle Pirate Cave, Glengowrie. It's the hip place to be....that's the word on the street anyway.