Jan 02, 2008 13:32
Friends!!!
2007 is finally OVER!!! I don't know about you, but I am SO glad for the end, if only symbolically. After all, it's only a new year by the Roman calendar - we passed the Jewish New Year, and the Chinese New Year isn't til next month. I personally celebrate my new year on my birthday, since that's when my actual year is new. To each her own.
Anyway - the beginning of anything major (a year, a millenium, a decade) always inspires us to set a bunch of goals for ourselves, intended to be carried out in the "new" time period: lose/gain weight, quit smoking (or "whatever"), get a new job/friends/housing situation, dump your boyfriend, move to Idaho, etc. I don't believe in resolutions, cause it's just too easy to blow them off once you blow it (i.e.- jan.4th you have a ciggie, so it's "oh well - maybe next year"). Too much pressure, not enough leeway.
So I've taken a moment away from the plantation to share with y'all my Goals for Greatness in 2008ness!
1. Get more rest and more exercise. I am old. Must keep moving to live. Must get (enough) sleep to keep moving to live. Sounds pretty simple, eh? 'Specially since my old ass is tired all the time, dammit!
2. Make more money. So many ideas, so little motivation. There are things I want to do, though, as well as things I'd like to acquire (i.e.- an abundant bank account, a new summer wardrobe, rent for the rest of the year) that necessitate a secure financial base. I would like to be a philanthropist when I grow up - all I need is an investor/benefactor. Preferrably the latter - grant, anyone?
3. Create more art. I have been so overwhelmed with trying to keep the Oakland Slam going and working a dayjob that my art has suffered miserably. I haven't completed a poem in months, last Wednesday was the first time I've performed poetry since after Nats. Since that's the thing I do best that I like the most, my psyche has been sucking. See #'s 1 & 2.
4. Love my loved ones more. Not just hugging and affirmation, but listening and responding. I learned alot last year about what people say to you when they aren't talking. D has given me alot of insight into reading minds and figuring out non-verbal clues. I still suck badly at it, but I'm getting better. I'm coming for my friends next.
5. Get healthy. I refused to set New Year's Day as my date to quit smoking, a) because I'd feel like shit at the brokest time of the year, which would invariably be counter-productive, and b) when you tell people you've set a date for something like that, they make such a big deal about it that you stress out and immediately reach for your...vice. I will quit quietly, sometime during the first quarter of the year. You might not even notice, except that you'll be smoking much more at the Slam, and I'll be inside most of the time, getting drunk.
6. Shut the fuck up. Don't know if y'all have noticed, but I talk quite a bit. I just love conversation and sharing, but it was brought to my attention several times last year that I often get over-enthusiastically conversational, to the dismay of my fellow converser(s). So I'm cutting back on the verbal communication (see #4), unless I'm hosting a show. Oh, I'll always have something to say (believe me!) but I'm gonna start making you ask me what it is. I feel mysterious...
7. Be better with time management. I mean, I am pretty good at time management, but in the last few years I've become increasingly lazy and procrastinating. I believe we arrived at our own wedding a few minutes later than we were supposed to get there, but who knows - I was hungover just like the rest of the guests. I used to be prompt to places, though - I wanna be that again.
8. Set a better example. I think I'm a pretty successful adult, in that "supporting myself-worked out most of my issues-got a great relationship" kinda way. I wanna improve in that "always on the hustle-100 people at the slam monthly-hardest working artist-dope in every way" kinda way. And I wanna learn how to play the guitar. See #'s 2,3, & 6.
9. Resolve all my limbo. I hate waiting, but I'm fine if I know what I'm actually waiting for. Lots of people I know (Me too!) have that thing where they would rather remain in ignorant limbo over a situation than get a resolution they might have difficulty accepting (like - pretending your SO isn't cheating so you never need to confront them, making excuses not to meet wit your boss so he can't fire you, etc.). All this does is put off the inevitable, and keep one up in the air, never having to deal with the downside of that "thing". What I remembered about myself is that, good or bad, I'd rather know for sure what's going on so my decision can be empowered. I have a thing that I've been floating in limbo about, when I need to just have the situation checked out and a diagnosis made, so to speak. This year I will be brave - I'd rather hear "No go," and deal with it, than accept "I don't know" and vacation in purgatory. I find inspiration & excitement in endless possibilities, but I find comfort and security in resolution. More and more, I prefer the latter, for I am old (see# 1).
10. Be a better family member. It helps to be married to someone with a healthy happy family, to help me get over my deeply-engrained issues. D's family is so nice, and loving, and normal-seeming. No scary old men, no violently mean women. No substance abusers or schizophrenics. My grandma and I are definitely closer, since I started seeing him. On New Year's eve, she asked me to call my mother, with whom I've never had a relationship. So I will call the facilitator of my human existence sometime this week, for her mom. If nothing else, perhaps it will win me points in my future relationship with my own daughter. We'll see.
Anyway, wishing you Great Greatness in 2008ness!!!! I hope you get it good!
luv, naz