Day 15, 16 and 17...
Since I neglected this challenge for a bit the last couple of days cause I was feeling too ill, I'm doing 3 days today..
Day 15 - Your dreams
While growing up I only had 2 dreams for my future: to become a writer and spend most of my time among animals. Those dreams always sticked with me. When I was in high school I decided that I wanted to study journalism and that I would become a journalist who would also write novels and children books, living on a farm with a lot of animals. I worked on the school paper, won some writing-contests.. But my bubble burst around the age of 18. I realised that I was no journalism-person. I'm just not. I don't know why exactly, but my confidence just disappeared, which also led to me believing I'm not a writer either. I haven't done my best to write anything ever since, even though I do still know I've got it in me to write, even if I believe I have got no talent. Writing is still my dream, but it's not my big dream anymore. I have moved it to the background and I have no idea if I will find the confidence to write again. I hope I do, cause I used to love to write. Poems, short stories, columns, etcetera... I haven't really written in years and I miss it.
After all that, I shaped another dream. To work with animals. To either work in an animals shelter, at a zoo, groom them, whatever, as long as I can put my love for animals into a profession. If I let myself dream big (and unrealistic), I dream of working in California, with sea otters. To try and increase their numbers, to do research.. I don't really think that will ever happen, but I love to dream of it.
I will definitely work to chase this dream, to work with animals. A year ago I enrolled at the Animal Husbandry-study, but unfortunately I had to drop out because of my (mental) health problems. When I'll feel much better I am going to try and study it on a lower level and see what happens from there. It's a step towards my dream coming true.
My biggest dream right now is just to become healthy and happy, so that I can actually chase other dreams and really live life. To become a mother, to get a degree and a job, to buy a bigger house together with Jasper. That's my most important dream.
Besides all that I also have my 'secret' dreams, the ones that I hardly tell anyone because well... they're not really realistic. Most of them I have had for my entire life. Here they are: I want to play the violin, piano, guitar and cello and be amazing at it. I want to be a singer of a rockband. I want to play in a musical (doesn't have to be on Broadway... :P but that would be awesome). I want to become an actress. I want to become a (hiphop)dancer.
I never dared to chase those dreams thanks to lack of selfesteem.. and for some I just really don't have the talent... and now I think I'm too old to try. xD
Day 16 - Your first kiss
Is it a bad thing that I honestly can't remember my first kiss?
I can remember having an innocent 'relationship' when I was around the age of 9 and that me and my 'bf' thought we knew what French kissing was. We just thought you put your mouths wide open and pressed it against each other xD So we did, haha, and we didn't get what all the fuss was about.
I can also remember being a kid and playing truth or dare with my older cousins and that I had to put my tongue against someone else's tongue(my brother made that dare up).. but that also doesn't count xD
I think my first kiss was with Jesper, but I'm not sure. I just know that our first kiss was hell. He came to pick me up so that we could drive to school together. I was 12 and he was 16 (or 17.. not sure anymore). And when he came into my house he kissed me in the hallway.. and he bit my lip.. It was terrible, haha. That's all I can remember from it, him biting my lip. He did it by accident btw, cause after that we dated for 2 weeks and he never bit me again xD
Day 17 - Your favourite memory
I don't have 1 favourite memory, I have several. Most of them are just small things I remember that make me smile :)
-Our wedding day, of course. It was such a beautiful day, it was perfect. An entire day about our love, surrounded by our loved ones. It was just great. The weather was perfect, I looked beautiful, Jasper looked gorgeous.. It felt like we were living a fairy-tale.
-When I proposed to Jasper. A few days earlier I had told him that I had a surprise for him, but that he would have to accept it first. He was convinced that I got him a pet rabbit. So of course, I also got him a pet rabbit. We went to the beach (on November 11th 2006) and I told him that his surprise was white/greyish, fluffy and waiting for us at the pet store. He was really happy and relieved that this was the surprise and he didn't have to be nervous anymore. So we walked on the beach for a while and started talking about our relationship.. and all of a sudden I got on one knee, showed him the ring and asked him if he would marry me. He immediately said yes and we both had to cry a little and couldn't stop hugging.
-Being a little kid and falling asleep next to my dog, Tara.
-My grandma always giving me chocolate bars whenever she saw me.
-Going grocery shopping with my dad when I was a kid.
-Sitting at "Bobby's Blow Bankje" with friends at nights that we went to LatenStaan.
-Meeting Silverchair.
-Everytime I met Papa Roach.
-Kissing Maria Mena.
-My dad coming home from a business trip with gifts for me.
-Jasper giving me the Evenstar necklace from the Lord of the Rings.
-Walking in London with Jasper and getting near the Disney Store.. I got so excited that I pinched his hand real hard and he got tears in his eyes. I thought I hurt him, but he actually had to cry because he saw how happy and excited I was.
-The first time I saw Newfoundlanders.
-When I first held Kuma in my arms, she was the cutest puppy ever and she kept sucking on my thumb.
-The first time I saw the sea otters at Blijdorp, Rotterdam Zoo.
-When Jasper told me we could get a puppy and we went to pick one out the next day and Damie walked up to us, wagging his tail, with his cute white mark on his head.
-Both of the Silverchair concerts I went to.
-Almost all the Papa Roach concerts I went to.
Day 15 - Your dreams
While growing up I only had 2 dreams for my future: to become a writer and spend most of my time among animals. Those dreams always sticked with me. When I was in high school I decided that I wanted to study journalism and that I would become a journalist who would also write novels and children books, living on a farm with a lot of animals. I worked on the school paper, won some writing-contests.. But my bubble burst around the age of 18. I realised that I was no journalism-person. I'm just not. I don't know why exactly, but my confidence just disappeared, which also led to me believing I'm not a writer either. I haven't done my best to write anything ever since, even though I do still know I've got it in me to write, even if I believe I have got no talent. Writing is still my dream, but it's not my big dream anymore. I have moved it to the background and I have no idea if I will find the confidence to write again. I hope I do, cause I used to love to write. Poems, short stories, columns, etcetera... I haven't really written in years and I miss it.
After all that, I shaped another dream. To work with animals. To either work in an animals shelter, at a zoo, groom them, whatever, as long as I can put my love for animals into a profession. If I let myself dream big (and unrealistic), I dream of working in California, with sea otters. To try and increase their numbers, to do research.. I don't really think that will ever happen, but I love to dream of it.
I will definitely work to chase this dream, to work with animals. A year ago I enrolled at the Animal Husbandry-study, but unfortunately I had to drop out because of my (mental) health problems. When I'll feel much better I am going to try and study it on a lower level and see what happens from there. It's a step towards my dream coming true.
My biggest dream right now is just to become healthy and happy, so that I can actually chase other dreams and really live life. To become a mother, to get a degree and a job, to buy a bigger house together with Jasper. That's my most important dream.
Besides all that I also have my 'secret' dreams, the ones that I hardly tell anyone because well... they're not really realistic. Most of them I have had for my entire life. Here they are: I want to play the violin, piano, guitar and cello and be amazing at it. I want to be a singer of a rockband. I want to play in a musical (doesn't have to be on Broadway... :P but that would be awesome). I want to become an actress. I want to become a (hiphop)dancer.
I never dared to chase those dreams thanks to lack of selfesteem.. and for some I just really don't have the talent... and now I think I'm too old to try. xD
Day 16 - Your first kiss
Is it a bad thing that I honestly can't remember my first kiss?
I can remember having an innocent 'relationship' when I was around the age of 9 and that me and my 'bf' thought we knew what French kissing was. We just thought you put your mouths wide open and pressed it against each other xD So we did, haha, and we didn't get what all the fuss was about.
I can also remember being a kid and playing truth or dare with my older cousins and that I had to put my tongue against someone else's tongue(my brother made that dare up).. but that also doesn't count xD
I think my first kiss was with Jesper, but I'm not sure. I just know that our first kiss was hell. He came to pick me up so that we could drive to school together. I was 12 and he was 16 (or 17.. not sure anymore). And when he came into my house he kissed me in the hallway.. and he bit my lip.. It was terrible, haha. That's all I can remember from it, him biting my lip. He did it by accident btw, cause after that we dated for 2 weeks and he never bit me again xD
Day 17 - Your favourite memory
I don't have 1 favourite memory, I have several. Most of them are just small things I remember that make me smile :)
-Our wedding day, of course. It was such a beautiful day, it was perfect. An entire day about our love, surrounded by our loved ones. It was just great. The weather was perfect, I looked beautiful, Jasper looked gorgeous.. It felt like we were living a fairy-tale.
-When I proposed to Jasper. A few days earlier I had told him that I had a surprise for him, but that he would have to accept it first. He was convinced that I got him a pet rabbit. So of course, I also got him a pet rabbit. We went to the beach (on November 11th 2006) and I told him that his surprise was white/greyish, fluffy and waiting for us at the pet store. He was really happy and relieved that this was the surprise and he didn't have to be nervous anymore. So we walked on the beach for a while and started talking about our relationship.. and all of a sudden I got on one knee, showed him the ring and asked him if he would marry me. He immediately said yes and we both had to cry a little and couldn't stop hugging.
-Being a little kid and falling asleep next to my dog, Tara.
-My grandma always giving me chocolate bars whenever she saw me.
-Going grocery shopping with my dad when I was a kid.
-Sitting at "Bobby's Blow Bankje" with friends at nights that we went to LatenStaan.
-Meeting Silverchair.
-Everytime I met Papa Roach.
-Kissing Maria Mena.
-My dad coming home from a business trip with gifts for me.
-Jasper giving me the Evenstar necklace from the Lord of the Rings.
-Walking in London with Jasper and getting near the Disney Store.. I got so excited that I pinched his hand real hard and he got tears in his eyes. I thought I hurt him, but he actually had to cry because he saw how happy and excited I was.
-The first time I saw Newfoundlanders.
-When I first held Kuma in my arms, she was the cutest puppy ever and she kept sucking on my thumb.
-The first time I saw the sea otters at Blijdorp, Rotterdam Zoo.
-When Jasper told me we could get a puppy and we went to pick one out the next day and Damie walked up to us, wagging his tail, with his cute white mark on his head.
-Both of the Silverchair concerts I went to.
-Almost all the Papa Roach concerts I went to.