You get what anyone gets - you get a lifetime
I'm getting good at doing nothing. I've got it down like the syndrome. First, don't wake up until 2pm at least, and if you do happen to wake up before then don't make any effort to leave the bed before that time. Then dilly dally around the house for a good hour or so, avoiding chores, spend time petting the cat, try talking to the dog. Go on the internet and do virtual puzzles for awhile, intermixed with making mix-cd's and online stalking, and before you know it it's dinner time. From then on anything is possible.
I'm so bored these days. I've got 3 books that I'm trying to read at the same time right now and it's going good, but even with that, it's just that I'm sitting so far down on the end of the spectrum where I have SO much free time that instead of being productive I end up doing nothing. It's gotten to the point that on the days that I do work, I have to spend my entire day mentally prepping myself for the 3.5 hour long shift that doesn't even start until 6 in the evening.
I've been applying for a number of jobs today, I'm starting to get worried about how long it's taking me to find another job. There's anxiety here and I don't like it because I have too much time to be anxious that it just gets the best of me as well. I'm applying all over the place now, I wouldn't say I'm picky, I just don't see the use in working for little amounts of money when there are jobs that can earn more.. uknow what I mean?
I got a little job at home now - rolling eggrolls. My mom gets a bunch of orders during the christmas season so she wants me to pre-roll them and then freeze them. It's alright, especially since I have nothing else to do, but I'm slow so it works out to earning about 5 dollars an hour. Which totally contradicts my earlier point to not finding a minimum wage job. hahaha. Marley called me the other day and asked me what I was doing and I said "rolling eggrolls" and she said "...sometimes I forget that you're asian."
In other news, I have a girlfriend now and it feels damn good. She's something nice to me and it's refreshing and it's nice to have something to cherish. Especially something as sweet as she is. I mean, someone. I mean... It's nice to have someone I can go to and get to turn it off (the charm) because I know she'll appreciate me anyways
I had a wonderful dream awhile ago, I dreamt my little sister knew how to drive and she asked me if I was using the car later on and I said "no, I'm not" and she asked if she could take it to drive herself to work.... woe, it was beautiful, but, alas, for perchance a dream!
I like this one because it reminds me of this joke that I find quite amusing...
q: What do you call an Indian that practices medicine?
(I dunno, what?)
a: A doctor, you racist.
My cousin in Sweden wants me to go there for Christmas, and watch the World Cup Juniors with him because they are in his town, well the town over, where I went to school when I lived there, in Leksand, and he really wants me to go. And I do too. But I don't have any money, but he said he'd lend it to me.. and it sounds oh so tempting... I'm trying not to think about it otherwise I'll buy a ticket and .. I don't know.. I want to see my grandma again too.. daaah.. I wish I just had a bit more money. I've been considering taking up gambling.
Somehow, and I don't know how exactly, but somehow the days have been passing by quicker than ever before, and I have trouble recalling the present.. if that makes sense. I feel delayed and thrusted into the future at the same time. I'm not sure if it's because I have a girl on my mind for most of the time these days, or if because for the first time in a very long time I feel okay. But there's this other thing, my mind is always in a place other than where I am, always, and I can't explain it. Like when I'm with her in my mind I'm somewhere else, I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but when I'm not with her I think about her. Or the other night when I was at this viewing for a family friend that passed away last week, everyone was praying and in my head I was planning rehearsals for dance... never where I should be at, my head is never where I'm at.
It was a strange way to go, she just found out she had leukemia on the friday, and on the monday that was it. She wasn't even in the hospital for 24 hours, the doctors couldn't even explain it. I think that she was needed somewhere else and God had to take her, and he took her quickly with little fuss. The worst part is she has 5 little ones, the youngest is only 8 I think, my mom is his godmother, the eldest is 19 or 20, that's not so bad, but it's still so sad. I sat with my sister and my childhood friend Alan, we talked about everything except what happened, and that's okay, we ate lots of food after the dinner I already had at home before we left. My mom wanted to go to another viewing on the other side of the city, one of her co-workers father died so we went there after, the service and all that was done already so my mom just wanted to show up and show her respects I guess, me and my sister looked at the food and it looked so good, but we were so full, but it looked so good so we had some, and it was so so good, I thought I was gonna burst. Why is the best part about viewings the food?
It reminded me of when my grandpa was dying and he was high on morphine for the most part but when he'd wake up he tell us that he has to go somewhere because he has a job waiting for him but he doesn't know what it is yet. I think it's like that sometimes, it's just time, and you're needed somewhere else, if I think of it that way it doesn't seem so bad at all.
Malcolm: You like clouds?
Reese: Yes, I like clouds! I call them sky kittens.