(no subject)
Hm it's been awhile since I've said anything that matters...
The most exciting thing that happened is I got a shiny brand-new bass guitar, and on the ride home from Apple Music the 50lb. used amp we bought with it fell on top of it. It's a pretty bad-ass bass though so it didn't get hurt. I can probably use that arguement in the future to claim the amp I have now couldn't possibly be big enough if it can't even beat up a guitar.
Alright, so probably more dominant in my life is my Dragonball training. It's becoming such a bother: wake up at 6:30, shower, milk (protein), yogurt (protein), school, run @ lunch, chicken bento for lunch in 5th period (protein), school, gym (lift until I can hear bones cracking), milk (protein), nuts (protein), home, think alot about doing homework but play guitar instead, worry abuot how I'll get my homework done but it's dinner so screw it, then think about homework one last time before situps, milk (protein), pass out. Every once in a while theres one of those days where my sleeping patterns gets fucked up and I have to waste like $7 on three double sized energy drinks because my body can't even tell if I have less caffeine than that anymore. On those days I can't run or lift, which is basically my purpose for being right now, but the caffeine beats me up so bad I don't think about it. Caffeine man... you don't realize it while you're consuming it or when you're actually on it, but when you come back down it hits you hard. Your eyes hurt so much it feel like satan skull-fucked you god. The upside is, I can enjoy up to two double sized energy drinks all at once without getting that buzz or having to come down so my collection will continue to grow fow now.
English has been pissing me the hell off, especially since I'm over a week late on a paper that's worth 20% of the semester grade. Fortunately, I was discussing dropping IB for normal junior English just before Neva's boyfriend got blown away in a terrible car crash, so I emailed her since there's been a sub in, and I won't have to do the paper at all if I start taking American Lit through correspondance with her. This basically reduces my total school workload by at least 50%, mayber more.
Hmmm... well I had to skip an overnight debate tournament this weekend for valuable relaxation, schoolwork make-up time, and job hours. Not much of a sacrifice though, I don't like anyone of the team, especially my partner. Ironically, he's one of the people I see most often, along with most of the other people I like least of all in my new life. I'm fairly happy though, so I guess that's not much of a problem. Track starts tuesday, and that worries me since it might interfere with my DBZ training. There's a no cut policy in this school though, so I'll have to inform the coaches that beating the fucking shit out of Mickey is way more important to me than highschool track. I'm not even sure if I'll have to, but if I do I wouldn't want to have to try it as weak as I am now.
Eugene still calls all the time, but usually right at the wrong time for me. He's always so scared and uncertain, almost like a little kid when I talk to him. I called him back the other day though, and all I heard was, "Yo Biemer? I can't fucking here you right now but I'm drunk as fuck so if you can hear me I can't talk to your right now cuz I'm getting drunk as fuck at this kids house." I guess I don't get to talk to as many of my other friends as much as I'd really like to. I prefer the phone to the internet. Lately alot of my older friends from Pennington to me more and more though. Mel... the one who pretty much made it possible for me to choose to get myself kicked out of boarding school; the one maybe I can trust the most? He's so depressed all the time, just like always. I can't help but to make promises to him about having our own Euro trip adventure. Shankar also just told me his parents fucking bought him his own goddam house. I saw pictures of the whole thing already too. He says I can live there. I can LIVE there in a house that has been completely purchased, FULL cash... That's a good-ass sounding deal to me, and to live with one of the better friends on my list. The thing is, what if I'd rather go to college somewhere else? Choices like this can make or break you're whole future. Should I go to Japan for a semseter next year and stay there when they tell me it's time to leave? Or should I pursue the vague possibility that another, even closer friend and I could go to the same college?
I find myself thinking about the same few people more and more all the time. I made some pacts with alot of people, that we'd meet up for good times just like the old times in a couple of years. Those couple of years are almost up, and now I've got new information on most of those people, with no sure-fire credibility from the sources. Maybe that means I'd rather be somewhere else still? But it's not clear if that's the case, how could I choose between all of these people I feel so close to, whom none of which, according to my US history teacher, I will know at all twenty years from now. I can see all of my options, and the wonderful outcomes that can come of any one of them, but it's still so hard to know. I suppose that's the difference between what I've got and depression. I KNOW everything will be allright in the end, I just can't see how the hell I'm SUPPOSED to get there.
I might just think about going down hard on my main plan, which I've been saying outloud over and over again that I'll never do right in front of everyone. My actions don't always match up with my words, and people already have a tough time figuring out what I mean sometimes. It seems like if I don't put it into motion in a week or two at the most then ultimately the shit will hit the fan and it'll be too late. There's so litte time, why can't the government just give me a highschool diploma for letting my study what I fucking want to...
The most exciting thing that happened is I got a shiny brand-new bass guitar, and on the ride home from Apple Music the 50lb. used amp we bought with it fell on top of it. It's a pretty bad-ass bass though so it didn't get hurt. I can probably use that arguement in the future to claim the amp I have now couldn't possibly be big enough if it can't even beat up a guitar.
Alright, so probably more dominant in my life is my Dragonball training. It's becoming such a bother: wake up at 6:30, shower, milk (protein), yogurt (protein), school, run @ lunch, chicken bento for lunch in 5th period (protein), school, gym (lift until I can hear bones cracking), milk (protein), nuts (protein), home, think alot about doing homework but play guitar instead, worry abuot how I'll get my homework done but it's dinner so screw it, then think about homework one last time before situps, milk (protein), pass out. Every once in a while theres one of those days where my sleeping patterns gets fucked up and I have to waste like $7 on three double sized energy drinks because my body can't even tell if I have less caffeine than that anymore. On those days I can't run or lift, which is basically my purpose for being right now, but the caffeine beats me up so bad I don't think about it. Caffeine man... you don't realize it while you're consuming it or when you're actually on it, but when you come back down it hits you hard. Your eyes hurt so much it feel like satan skull-fucked you god. The upside is, I can enjoy up to two double sized energy drinks all at once without getting that buzz or having to come down so my collection will continue to grow fow now.
English has been pissing me the hell off, especially since I'm over a week late on a paper that's worth 20% of the semester grade. Fortunately, I was discussing dropping IB for normal junior English just before Neva's boyfriend got blown away in a terrible car crash, so I emailed her since there's been a sub in, and I won't have to do the paper at all if I start taking American Lit through correspondance with her. This basically reduces my total school workload by at least 50%, mayber more.
Hmmm... well I had to skip an overnight debate tournament this weekend for valuable relaxation, schoolwork make-up time, and job hours. Not much of a sacrifice though, I don't like anyone of the team, especially my partner. Ironically, he's one of the people I see most often, along with most of the other people I like least of all in my new life. I'm fairly happy though, so I guess that's not much of a problem. Track starts tuesday, and that worries me since it might interfere with my DBZ training. There's a no cut policy in this school though, so I'll have to inform the coaches that beating the fucking shit out of Mickey is way more important to me than highschool track. I'm not even sure if I'll have to, but if I do I wouldn't want to have to try it as weak as I am now.
Eugene still calls all the time, but usually right at the wrong time for me. He's always so scared and uncertain, almost like a little kid when I talk to him. I called him back the other day though, and all I heard was, "Yo Biemer? I can't fucking here you right now but I'm drunk as fuck so if you can hear me I can't talk to your right now cuz I'm getting drunk as fuck at this kids house." I guess I don't get to talk to as many of my other friends as much as I'd really like to. I prefer the phone to the internet. Lately alot of my older friends from Pennington to me more and more though. Mel... the one who pretty much made it possible for me to choose to get myself kicked out of boarding school; the one maybe I can trust the most? He's so depressed all the time, just like always. I can't help but to make promises to him about having our own Euro trip adventure. Shankar also just told me his parents fucking bought him his own goddam house. I saw pictures of the whole thing already too. He says I can live there. I can LIVE there in a house that has been completely purchased, FULL cash... That's a good-ass sounding deal to me, and to live with one of the better friends on my list. The thing is, what if I'd rather go to college somewhere else? Choices like this can make or break you're whole future. Should I go to Japan for a semseter next year and stay there when they tell me it's time to leave? Or should I pursue the vague possibility that another, even closer friend and I could go to the same college?
I find myself thinking about the same few people more and more all the time. I made some pacts with alot of people, that we'd meet up for good times just like the old times in a couple of years. Those couple of years are almost up, and now I've got new information on most of those people, with no sure-fire credibility from the sources. Maybe that means I'd rather be somewhere else still? But it's not clear if that's the case, how could I choose between all of these people I feel so close to, whom none of which, according to my US history teacher, I will know at all twenty years from now. I can see all of my options, and the wonderful outcomes that can come of any one of them, but it's still so hard to know. I suppose that's the difference between what I've got and depression. I KNOW everything will be allright in the end, I just can't see how the hell I'm SUPPOSED to get there.
I might just think about going down hard on my main plan, which I've been saying outloud over and over again that I'll never do right in front of everyone. My actions don't always match up with my words, and people already have a tough time figuring out what I mean sometimes. It seems like if I don't put it into motion in a week or two at the most then ultimately the shit will hit the fan and it'll be too late. There's so litte time, why can't the government just give me a highschool diploma for letting my study what I fucking want to...