I'm Tryin'
"I'm Tryin' " -Trace Adkins
This gettin up early, pulling double shifts,
Gonna make an old man of me long before I ever get rich.
But I'm tryin
It's been two years since we've finalized,
I still ain't used to puttin ex in front of wife.
But I'm tryin.
Send more money right away, is pretty much all she has to say when she
Calls these days and don't you be late
But all I can do, is all I can do and I keep on tryin
And all I can be is all I can be and I keep on tryin
There's always a mountain in front of me,
Seems I'm always climbin and fallin and climbin
But I keep on tryin
I remember daddy sayin keep your eye on the ball, run like hell, play to win,
Get up when you fall
I'm tryin
Don't say nothin that you can't take back
Never do anything you might regret
No don't do that
Daddy I'm tryin
Know the difference between heaven and hell
Go easy on the bottle be hard on yourself
And I know he meant well
But all I can do, is all I can do and I keep on tryin
And all I can be is all I can be and I keep on tryin
There's always a mountain in front of me,
Seems I'm always climbin and fallin and climbin
But I keep on tryin
There's always a mountain in front of me
Seems I'm always climbin and stumblin
And then fallin'
And then climbin'
But I keep on tryin'
This gettin up early pullin double shifts
Gonna make an old man of me
Long before I ever get rich
But I'm tryin'
Well, I've been trying. Doing better too, I believe. But I... don't think I'm going to be posting this. I forget my actual point. Something like.. I thought about Marie today- well, I have been since I saw the movie Hitman. Lead actress, at times when the camera shot her face from a certain angle, I could swear she looked just like her. That movie was almost hard to watch. Some days are too, to get through- not that hard, but there are moments I wish so much I could take back the past 6 months and do it all over again- no, I'll take back the next year. Not quit my job, get a transfer- and save my money. Would actually go see her, put real effort into it. More than just words.
And yet, no matter the effort... here I sit moving on. Not quite wanting to hang on, but ready to try to put it all behind me. How much easier would it be if she told me to move on? At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Have her tell me to move on, and it'll all go away that much faster. I really don't know.
I feel guilty admitting- more guilty than you imagine- just how much I'd try to make things work if she did... talk. But would I? Or would I actually let her go?
Stop looking for someone to... be her, to..... replace what was had. I can't, the only her that will ever be is her. I try to tell myself that what's done is done, all you can do is look for someone else entirely, and never compare. It's a work in progress.
I want to say I'm making progress, but at the same time I want to say that I haven't done anything at all. Which isn't true, I just don't want to admit it.
This gettin up early, pulling double shifts,
Gonna make an old man of me long before I ever get rich.
But I'm tryin
It's been two years since we've finalized,
I still ain't used to puttin ex in front of wife.
But I'm tryin.
Send more money right away, is pretty much all she has to say when she
Calls these days and don't you be late
But all I can do, is all I can do and I keep on tryin
And all I can be is all I can be and I keep on tryin
There's always a mountain in front of me,
Seems I'm always climbin and fallin and climbin
But I keep on tryin
I remember daddy sayin keep your eye on the ball, run like hell, play to win,
Get up when you fall
I'm tryin
Don't say nothin that you can't take back
Never do anything you might regret
No don't do that
Daddy I'm tryin
Know the difference between heaven and hell
Go easy on the bottle be hard on yourself
And I know he meant well
But all I can do, is all I can do and I keep on tryin
And all I can be is all I can be and I keep on tryin
There's always a mountain in front of me,
Seems I'm always climbin and fallin and climbin
But I keep on tryin
There's always a mountain in front of me
Seems I'm always climbin and stumblin
And then fallin'
And then climbin'
But I keep on tryin'
This gettin up early pullin double shifts
Gonna make an old man of me
Long before I ever get rich
But I'm tryin'
Well, I've been trying. Doing better too, I believe. But I... don't think I'm going to be posting this. I forget my actual point. Something like.. I thought about Marie today- well, I have been since I saw the movie Hitman. Lead actress, at times when the camera shot her face from a certain angle, I could swear she looked just like her. That movie was almost hard to watch. Some days are too, to get through- not that hard, but there are moments I wish so much I could take back the past 6 months and do it all over again- no, I'll take back the next year. Not quit my job, get a transfer- and save my money. Would actually go see her, put real effort into it. More than just words.
And yet, no matter the effort... here I sit moving on. Not quite wanting to hang on, but ready to try to put it all behind me. How much easier would it be if she told me to move on? At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Have her tell me to move on, and it'll all go away that much faster. I really don't know.
I feel guilty admitting- more guilty than you imagine- just how much I'd try to make things work if she did... talk. But would I? Or would I actually let her go?
Stop looking for someone to... be her, to..... replace what was had. I can't, the only her that will ever be is her. I try to tell myself that what's done is done, all you can do is look for someone else entirely, and never compare. It's a work in progress.
I want to say I'm making progress, but at the same time I want to say that I haven't done anything at all. Which isn't true, I just don't want to admit it.