(no subject)
just want to get your guys' opinion on something I wrote years ago that I stumbled across.
He swaggered back from the bar, eyes slightly glazed, not paying attention to the voices around him. His steps were wide, his arms swinging away from his body. His jacket half-buttoned up the wrong way, stained with hour old beer, his shirt tails dangled from underneath.
The voices around him were low whispers, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get back to his room.
He fumbled for his keys as he neared his door, but dropped them as he violently realized he was already at it. He thrust his key in the lock, turned it, and walked in. He squinted as the light came on. A card was on his bed, a thank-you from the hotel staff to a Jon Costen, for staying with them.
Jon crushed the card and tossed it away, tears stinging his bloodshot eyes.
6 Years Earlier
At the local club, Jon and half the Collage football team were celebrating their latest victory. Jon, himself, hadn’t had much to drink- he’s never liked the stuff, while the rest of the team there was getting noticeably drunk. He was celebrating one victory my having another at a game of pool.
As he lined up his final 8-ball shot, he looked at his watch. Eight o’clock. He looked down the stick, and made ready to shoot. But then he caught a glimpse of someone entering the club, what he saw cost him the game. And twenty-six bucks, because sitting down at the bar was the most beautiful blonde he had ever seen. A five-six, green eyed of a long blonde-haired beauty. He was to busy staring to notice Chad, a linebacker, lining up a shot. That wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the well known fact that Chad can’t shoot worth beans- especially when drunk.
“Hey Duke, you see that girl?” asked Jon.
“Do… do I what? Man, you must be pulling something,” said Duke, waving his hands over Jon’s eyes.
“Dude, wh-” he was interrupted with to an eight ball to his groin, “Oof!” He shouted, fallowed by a low “Ohh….” Jon moaned. He dropped his shot glass as he fell to the floor. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the blonde turning to see what had happened.
Opening his eyes, still clouded with pain and murderous rage for Chad, Jon groaned as he started to sit up. Jon rubbed his eyes, muttering under his breath “Chad, you dirty drunk of a linebacker”. He noticed a hand reach down to him, without thinking he took it and stood up.
“I assume you’ve never had something like that happen before” said a feminine voice
“No, first ti-” And he stopped as he saw the blonde standing in front of him.
I want to add more to it, cuz I just finished actually rereading it. Let me know what you think.
He swaggered back from the bar, eyes slightly glazed, not paying attention to the voices around him. His steps were wide, his arms swinging away from his body. His jacket half-buttoned up the wrong way, stained with hour old beer, his shirt tails dangled from underneath.
The voices around him were low whispers, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get back to his room.
He fumbled for his keys as he neared his door, but dropped them as he violently realized he was already at it. He thrust his key in the lock, turned it, and walked in. He squinted as the light came on. A card was on his bed, a thank-you from the hotel staff to a Jon Costen, for staying with them.
Jon crushed the card and tossed it away, tears stinging his bloodshot eyes.
6 Years Earlier
At the local club, Jon and half the Collage football team were celebrating their latest victory. Jon, himself, hadn’t had much to drink- he’s never liked the stuff, while the rest of the team there was getting noticeably drunk. He was celebrating one victory my having another at a game of pool.
As he lined up his final 8-ball shot, he looked at his watch. Eight o’clock. He looked down the stick, and made ready to shoot. But then he caught a glimpse of someone entering the club, what he saw cost him the game. And twenty-six bucks, because sitting down at the bar was the most beautiful blonde he had ever seen. A five-six, green eyed of a long blonde-haired beauty. He was to busy staring to notice Chad, a linebacker, lining up a shot. That wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the well known fact that Chad can’t shoot worth beans- especially when drunk.
“Hey Duke, you see that girl?” asked Jon.
“Do… do I what? Man, you must be pulling something,” said Duke, waving his hands over Jon’s eyes.
“Dude, wh-” he was interrupted with to an eight ball to his groin, “Oof!” He shouted, fallowed by a low “Ohh….” Jon moaned. He dropped his shot glass as he fell to the floor. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the blonde turning to see what had happened.
Opening his eyes, still clouded with pain and murderous rage for Chad, Jon groaned as he started to sit up. Jon rubbed his eyes, muttering under his breath “Chad, you dirty drunk of a linebacker”. He noticed a hand reach down to him, without thinking he took it and stood up.
“I assume you’ve never had something like that happen before” said a feminine voice
“No, first ti-” And he stopped as he saw the blonde standing in front of him.
I want to add more to it, cuz I just finished actually rereading it. Let me know what you think.