Fandom: BtVS/AtS: I'm Not Sorry There's Nothing To Say
Title: I'm Not Sorry There's Nothing To Say
Rating: PG
Characters: Angel, Buffy
Summary: It's years after Los Angeles goes to hell that Angel runs into her again. Buffy. Based on the song Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars.
Word Count: 756
Author's Note: bellonablack challenged me a while back to write something based on this song about Buffy and Angel meeting up later on in life, and dealing with the fact that they are no longer in love with one another. This was my attempt. This is all based on my personal canon of what happened after both series ended, as I don't care for the comics and their take on things.
It's years after Los Angeles goes to hell that Angel runs into her again. Buffy. Once upon a time, she had been everything to him. But that seemed like another life now. And it was. It had been before Cordelia, before Connor. Before he had had a family, and almost lost all of it. But Connor was alive, and they met up every so often, so he at least had that. He tried to tell himself it was enough.
It wasn't, but it was all he had.
Though he didn't love Buffy anymore (he hadn't even really back when he gave her the amulet in Sunnydale, it was just easier to pretend like he did then to own up to how bad things were at home), he thought about her from time to time, the way you do with old lovers. He had heard about Sunnydale being destroyed. He had met some of the newly activated Slayers. He couldn't say he agreed with her choice (it had been unfair enough to push that burden on one or two girls, let alone hundreds) but he had respected it, because he knew it couldn't have been an easy one to make.
He had stopped in Cleveland for a few days after leaving L.A. He had been going from town to town, staying for a few weeks, helping as many people as he could, and then he left. He felt restless, no place felt like home anymore. He had almost skipped over the town in Ohio, knowing it had been the new slayer headquarters. They had plenty of people to protect them.
But something pulls him there. And when he runs into her one night during parole, it feels like fate. But not in the big, overwhelming, overdramatic way that it used to feel like with Buffy. It was softer now, bittersweet. She looked tired, worn down, but hopeful. He wondered if Spike ever found her, admitted that he had come back to life. The idea doesn't bother him as much as he thought it would, thought he still thinks Buffy could do a lot better.
"Angel, what are you doing here?" She asks softly. They keep a safe distance, as if trying to learn where to go with one another all over again.
He shrugs his shoulders, like he doesn't. And he doesn't. He feels purposeless these days. The powers have forsaken him. "I was just passing through."
"Oh." She pauses. There used to be so much to say to him, but there wasn't now. It was comforting and sad all at the same time. "I heard about Cordelia, I know I wasn't her biggest fan but she des-"
"I know." Angel cuts her off. He can't talk about Cordelia. Buffy would never understand what that loss had meant to him. Or Wesley. How could she? She would always know them as they were in Sunnydale, and not the people they grew to be in L.A.
"You can stay here, if you want. I mean, we could always use an extra hand. You know how these hellmouths like to get, never a lack of anything to kill. And I figure we're due for another apocalypse any day now." She cracks a smile, it's not a filled with light as it used to be. It's been hardened through the years. She's like a real soldier now. Or maybe she had always been, and he had just been too blind to see it before.
Angel shakes his head lightly. "No. I don't belong here." And he knows deep within his bones that it's true. And maybe that's why he had come here, to confirm it. His time by Buffy's side had long since passed, and to return to it now, to regress into who he had been with her would be an insult to those who had died at his side.
"I didn't think so," She admitted with a small laugh. "Are you okay Angel, you seem..." And she trails off. She doesn't know how to read him. She never did, really.
"No." He admits, softly. "But I will be."
And he's not sure if he believes it, but he turns and walks away from her anyways, back into the shadows. He had found a place without Buffy once before, and he would do it again. There were still people out there to fight, to save. And until he found the place that needed him, he would still keep on.
It seemed he too, had turned into a soldier. Finally.
Rating: PG
Characters: Angel, Buffy
Summary: It's years after Los Angeles goes to hell that Angel runs into her again. Buffy. Based on the song Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars.
Word Count: 756
Author's Note: bellonablack challenged me a while back to write something based on this song about Buffy and Angel meeting up later on in life, and dealing with the fact that they are no longer in love with one another. This was my attempt. This is all based on my personal canon of what happened after both series ended, as I don't care for the comics and their take on things.
It's years after Los Angeles goes to hell that Angel runs into her again. Buffy. Once upon a time, she had been everything to him. But that seemed like another life now. And it was. It had been before Cordelia, before Connor. Before he had had a family, and almost lost all of it. But Connor was alive, and they met up every so often, so he at least had that. He tried to tell himself it was enough.
It wasn't, but it was all he had.
Though he didn't love Buffy anymore (he hadn't even really back when he gave her the amulet in Sunnydale, it was just easier to pretend like he did then to own up to how bad things were at home), he thought about her from time to time, the way you do with old lovers. He had heard about Sunnydale being destroyed. He had met some of the newly activated Slayers. He couldn't say he agreed with her choice (it had been unfair enough to push that burden on one or two girls, let alone hundreds) but he had respected it, because he knew it couldn't have been an easy one to make.
He had stopped in Cleveland for a few days after leaving L.A. He had been going from town to town, staying for a few weeks, helping as many people as he could, and then he left. He felt restless, no place felt like home anymore. He had almost skipped over the town in Ohio, knowing it had been the new slayer headquarters. They had plenty of people to protect them.
But something pulls him there. And when he runs into her one night during parole, it feels like fate. But not in the big, overwhelming, overdramatic way that it used to feel like with Buffy. It was softer now, bittersweet. She looked tired, worn down, but hopeful. He wondered if Spike ever found her, admitted that he had come back to life. The idea doesn't bother him as much as he thought it would, thought he still thinks Buffy could do a lot better.
"Angel, what are you doing here?" She asks softly. They keep a safe distance, as if trying to learn where to go with one another all over again.
He shrugs his shoulders, like he doesn't. And he doesn't. He feels purposeless these days. The powers have forsaken him. "I was just passing through."
"Oh." She pauses. There used to be so much to say to him, but there wasn't now. It was comforting and sad all at the same time. "I heard about Cordelia, I know I wasn't her biggest fan but she des-"
"I know." Angel cuts her off. He can't talk about Cordelia. Buffy would never understand what that loss had meant to him. Or Wesley. How could she? She would always know them as they were in Sunnydale, and not the people they grew to be in L.A.
"You can stay here, if you want. I mean, we could always use an extra hand. You know how these hellmouths like to get, never a lack of anything to kill. And I figure we're due for another apocalypse any day now." She cracks a smile, it's not a filled with light as it used to be. It's been hardened through the years. She's like a real soldier now. Or maybe she had always been, and he had just been too blind to see it before.
Angel shakes his head lightly. "No. I don't belong here." And he knows deep within his bones that it's true. And maybe that's why he had come here, to confirm it. His time by Buffy's side had long since passed, and to return to it now, to regress into who he had been with her would be an insult to those who had died at his side.
"I didn't think so," She admitted with a small laugh. "Are you okay Angel, you seem..." And she trails off. She doesn't know how to read him. She never did, really.
"No." He admits, softly. "But I will be."
And he's not sure if he believes it, but he turns and walks away from her anyways, back into the shadows. He had found a place without Buffy once before, and he would do it again. There were still people out there to fight, to save. And until he found the place that needed him, he would still keep on.
It seemed he too, had turned into a soldier. Finally.