(no subject)
When I was still sleeping yesterday I got an urgent message from Q. "We have problems," he said. So, I called him and he told me that Admirador, one of my JOMA boys, had gone to Mocuba to live with his aunt so he could attend 11th grade there. Only, he couldn't find his aunt, so he had been working as a 24-hour guard for a store for the past two months. The owner of the store had been feeding him, but not enough. Quadrado had stumbled upon him in the market the other day. Quadrado is contacting the radio and paying for an announcement, so hopefully his aunt - or a neighbor, or anyone - will hear it and get in contact with Admirador. If they don't find her, I don't know what the hell is going to happen. Admirador doesn't have the mil to live in the LAR. I hastily asked if he could stay with Quadrado's family, but Q is going to Gurue for school, and they can't even support themselves (baby Ricky died from malnutrition) so they couldn't take on another mouth to feed. It was not my place to ask. It was an unkind impulse.
If I were there, I'd pay for him to stay in the LAR. But, I'm not. So, I can only get distant updates. I can only imagine how scary it must've been for him. What would I have done when I was 17 if I went to a town and couldn't find the relative with whom I was meant to stay. I want to throw a shield over all of them, and protect them from harm. But, I don't have that ability. I couldn't protect Roux. My neighbors killed my cat. I keep imagining them beating him to death. It hurts my soul.
And, now Mia has kidney disease. She's old and I'm glad that she's going in a more natural way. But, the last time I had kitty falecidos two died within months of each other. I feel superstitious in a weird way, and hope that Mia doesn't go soon. Right now she's hanging around me and meowing, purposelessly. She won't eat anything. All she does is drink.
I'm in this pillowy cushion of comfort, while Q is still suffering through immeasurable hardships. Admirador is practically on the streets. Dio has been dicked around by the teachers, who failed him for no good reason other than that they didn't get their bribes. I feel awful. I just feel awful. I want to protect them all from how awful life is. I want to balance things out a little, and give just a little of our unearned prosperity to them. Maybe take away one of our conveniences, or make things just slightly more difficult for us in turn. It makes me so angry to see my boys suffer when people have it so fucking obliviously good here.
If I were there, I'd pay for him to stay in the LAR. But, I'm not. So, I can only get distant updates. I can only imagine how scary it must've been for him. What would I have done when I was 17 if I went to a town and couldn't find the relative with whom I was meant to stay. I want to throw a shield over all of them, and protect them from harm. But, I don't have that ability. I couldn't protect Roux. My neighbors killed my cat. I keep imagining them beating him to death. It hurts my soul.
And, now Mia has kidney disease. She's old and I'm glad that she's going in a more natural way. But, the last time I had kitty falecidos two died within months of each other. I feel superstitious in a weird way, and hope that Mia doesn't go soon. Right now she's hanging around me and meowing, purposelessly. She won't eat anything. All she does is drink.
I'm in this pillowy cushion of comfort, while Q is still suffering through immeasurable hardships. Admirador is practically on the streets. Dio has been dicked around by the teachers, who failed him for no good reason other than that they didn't get their bribes. I feel awful. I just feel awful. I want to protect them all from how awful life is. I want to balance things out a little, and give just a little of our unearned prosperity to them. Maybe take away one of our conveniences, or make things just slightly more difficult for us in turn. It makes me so angry to see my boys suffer when people have it so fucking obliviously good here.