(no subject)
Have you ever cried so much, that your eyes burn?
We didn't really hangout, I mean, he was an old roommate, and still lived with my brother. I didn't think his passing would effect me as much.
I called my brother when I found out, and I thought I would be okay, but ... the words ... they wouldn't come out. It felt like I was drowning, my mind formed the thoughts, but whenever I opened my mouth, my lungs siezed up to stop the pain from rushing in.
By forming these thoughts into words, it becomes real. So if I hold it in, it won't be real, right?
We both said we were okay, but we knew we weren't.
"Hey, how are you doing?", he said it, like he's said it a thousand times before. He was trying to be strong, he was dealing with it the best way he can. When I didn't answer, the cracks started to form. He started crying, he knew what I couldn't say, he knew he didn't need to ask.
"I'm so sorry, I thought I could do this, but the words won't come out..."
He knew, he's been dealing with it for the past few days, friends and family calling him up, consoling him about his roommate, and friend.
Friend.
I've never had a lot of friends, I've always kept a tight circle of friends, people I trust; people that are good to me.
When a friend leaves, that hole, its so much bigger. It leaves an obvious gap in the circle that's felt so much more.
I'm so sorry that this happened, you were always good to me. Now you can get some rest, you can sleep, and not have any more worries.
We'll miss you, you won't be forgotten.