Short Story: No Resolution.
Title: No Resolution
Author: Me superjen42
Category: Original short story.
Rating: Mature.
Disclaimer: Containing drugs with reference to sex.
Rummaging for answers through the pages of my brain.
Searching my history and memories to find that one mistake.
They say that experiencing mistakes can help you learn, but what if you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, what then? Am I simply just learning how to make better, faster, cleaner mistakes?
As I sat in my room looking up at my ceiling, a cigarette rolling unlit through my fingers. I pondered about my life and why I always came back to the same thing, pondering about my life. Was it that I thought too much about making mistakes now that finding love was too difficult or daring for me to leave the comfort zone I'd created for myself. When I started to think too much I get angry with myself and then think about how I could stop this endless cycle of thought. My brain is at constant battle with itself and they say men cant figure out women, we cant even figure out ourselves.
I looked to the left at my unlit cigarette. The smooth mixture of tobacco and cannabis was always a relief and escape from my real life. Thank God for the people who invented cannabis. They're probably in heaven smoking with Angels right now. I smirked at the ceiling and lit my cannabis infused cigarette to the people above and beyond me “Cheers” I laughed and took a long drag, preserving the smoke in my lungs and exhaling slowly. That first dizzy rush is what keeps you going and what I crave for daily but it wasn't the only reason I abused. At least I wasn't injecting heroin.. yet.
I closed my eyes and sunk into my own little world.
I opened my eyes to a dimly lit room and a familiar scent filling my nostrils. I smiled and waited. A chill ran down the back of my spine as a pressure leant on my shoulder. I turned my head to a beautiful man and his bright silver eyes said that he belonged to me. All that over thinking I do makes up for a great imagination. I thought to myself as he turned my body around to face him “I've been waiting for you” his silky voice made all the tiny hairs on my body stand up and dance with electricity as he kissed me softly. This moment was one mistake I had never regretted. Finding my lover again every night after all the years of heartbreak was simply heavenly. Some may say that intoxicating yourself with drugs to find a state of ecstasy was wrong.. well they've just never tried it. Here I was still safely in my comfort zone and with him.
His hands caressed every inch of my skin and I breathed him into me with every breath. His eyes looked deeply into mine as our bodies entwined with pleasure. His fingers through my hair and his lips against mine was always enough to send me over the edge. We enjoyed each others company for as long as it could last and until I took the last dregs of my cigarette. I could tell that it was coming to the end now because I was becoming conscious of my room again and the material of the chair against my back.
I held my eyes shut tight, biting my lip and praying that it wasn't over. But I could see the sunlight beating against my eyelids and the realisation made me sigh in disappointment. I stood up and walked to the bathroom, staring into the mirror at my face and blood shot eyes. Was this how my life would always be? Or is there something more?
I asked myself the same thing everyday and still no resolution but only the continuous delirious love affair with my dead lover.
Author: Me superjen42
Category: Original short story.
Rating: Mature.
Disclaimer: Containing drugs with reference to sex.
Rummaging for answers through the pages of my brain.
Searching my history and memories to find that one mistake.
They say that experiencing mistakes can help you learn, but what if you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, what then? Am I simply just learning how to make better, faster, cleaner mistakes?
As I sat in my room looking up at my ceiling, a cigarette rolling unlit through my fingers. I pondered about my life and why I always came back to the same thing, pondering about my life. Was it that I thought too much about making mistakes now that finding love was too difficult or daring for me to leave the comfort zone I'd created for myself. When I started to think too much I get angry with myself and then think about how I could stop this endless cycle of thought. My brain is at constant battle with itself and they say men cant figure out women, we cant even figure out ourselves.
I looked to the left at my unlit cigarette. The smooth mixture of tobacco and cannabis was always a relief and escape from my real life. Thank God for the people who invented cannabis. They're probably in heaven smoking with Angels right now. I smirked at the ceiling and lit my cannabis infused cigarette to the people above and beyond me “Cheers” I laughed and took a long drag, preserving the smoke in my lungs and exhaling slowly. That first dizzy rush is what keeps you going and what I crave for daily but it wasn't the only reason I abused. At least I wasn't injecting heroin.. yet.
I closed my eyes and sunk into my own little world.
I opened my eyes to a dimly lit room and a familiar scent filling my nostrils. I smiled and waited. A chill ran down the back of my spine as a pressure leant on my shoulder. I turned my head to a beautiful man and his bright silver eyes said that he belonged to me. All that over thinking I do makes up for a great imagination. I thought to myself as he turned my body around to face him “I've been waiting for you” his silky voice made all the tiny hairs on my body stand up and dance with electricity as he kissed me softly. This moment was one mistake I had never regretted. Finding my lover again every night after all the years of heartbreak was simply heavenly. Some may say that intoxicating yourself with drugs to find a state of ecstasy was wrong.. well they've just never tried it. Here I was still safely in my comfort zone and with him.
His hands caressed every inch of my skin and I breathed him into me with every breath. His eyes looked deeply into mine as our bodies entwined with pleasure. His fingers through my hair and his lips against mine was always enough to send me over the edge. We enjoyed each others company for as long as it could last and until I took the last dregs of my cigarette. I could tell that it was coming to the end now because I was becoming conscious of my room again and the material of the chair against my back.
I held my eyes shut tight, biting my lip and praying that it wasn't over. But I could see the sunlight beating against my eyelids and the realisation made me sigh in disappointment. I stood up and walked to the bathroom, staring into the mirror at my face and blood shot eyes. Was this how my life would always be? Or is there something more?
I asked myself the same thing everyday and still no resolution but only the continuous delirious love affair with my dead lover.