Without You is How I Disappear - Chapter 6 (Part 2)
Title: Without You is How I Disappear
Authors: superhero0008, carboncastel, cascadingmerrygoround @ Tumblr
Pairing: Akame, MaruDa, RyoDa (plus others)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Smut
Disclaimer: We own no one in this fic except some minor OC. We own the plot.
Summary: World of Johnny’s Entertainment is burning with glitz and glamour. At the very top is Crimson Glory, the famous pop duo made up of the incredibly charismatic Kamenashi Kazuya and the enthralling Ueda Tatsuya. They are alike in that they follow where their hearts take them. Akanishi Jin is a solo artist who just recently debuted, slowly working his way to the top. Nishikido Ryo is an actor, and he goes for what he wants. Nakamaru Yuichi is the agency’s official photographer, and he’s happy with what he has. And Johnny Kitagawa. He doesn't make it easy for any of them. Well, except for his favorites, Shirota Yuu and Taguchi Junnosuke, and most especially, Kamenashi. What is true and what is false in this industry of illusions? What will they hold onto and what should they let go of?
Without You is How I Disappear
Chapter 6 (Part 2)
Jin was feeling warm. Maybe that’s why he finally woke up. It took him a while to remember where he was. On a trip. With Kame. Right. He sleepily turned to his side, expecting to see the younger boy perhaps watching him while he was sleeping, or maybe still asleep himself, serene face and all. Fully opening his eyes, though, he didn’t expect to wake up to an empty bed.
Jin thoughtlessly felt the spot next to him, as if to check if Kame wasn’t hiding among the sheets and - nope, no Kame there. Looking around the room, which was gloriously basking in soft sunlight through the breezy white curtains on the windows, no Kame was to be found either. The wooden door, however, stood ajar, also letting a slice of sunlight in, a bit fiercer than the curtains let through.
“Look, Koki, I’m worried about you.”
Jin stilled as he heard Kame’s voice on the other side of the door. Was Tanaka here? Jin quietly pulled the door open a bit in order to see. Ah, Kame was talking phone, one hand on the device and the other against the wooden railing right outside the resort hotel room.
It was a bit warm - they were by the sea after all - so Jin deduced that to be the reason why Kame was wearing only a pair of denim shorts that were cut just below the knee and nothing on top. Kame made a glorious image against the backdrop of the morning sun above the shimmering sea, Jin thought.
“Please. Don’t you even care that you’re making me worry?” Kame almost whined into his phone, pulling Jin’s attention from the younger man’s body back to the phone conversation.
What was it at all that Tanaka did to make Kame worry?
Kame ran his free hand through his hair in frustration. He was just about to speak more, when he felt a strange prickling sensation on the back of his neck.
“Listen, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” said Kame, wondering just what it was that was giving him that strange feeling. “Take care of yourself, Koki. Bye.”
The idol whirled around and saw Jin who clearly had just woken up, with his hair still all messy and getting into his eyes. Kame's heart almost skipped a beat as he took in the very appealing picture that Jin made, with the sea breeze softly stirring the older man’s dark locks.
Jin was standing there, openly eyeing Kame from head to toe. The idol suddenly felt all too conscious and crossed his arms over his naked chest.
“What was that all about?” asked Jin, lifting his chin a little. “You were talking with Tanaka?”
Now, Jin was aware that Kame was good friends with Tanaka and he didn’t want to overstep boundaries, which was probably what he and Kame almost fought about last night. But what did he know about this Tanaka? How could he be sure that this Tanaka person wasn’t after Kame, who was, after all, hot enough to make Jin or probably any guy turn gay for him?
“Yeah,” replied Kame evenly. “I was just asking how he was.”
“You sounded like you were really concerned.”
“Of course, I’m concerned. Koki is my friend and I care about him.”
Jin was silent for a moment, seemingly considering something before he spoke again, “And is Tanaka… straight?”
“What kind of question is that?” Kame exclaimed, incredulous. “Don’t tell me you think Koki and I - why are you acting so possessive?”
“Naturally,” said Jin, grinning. “Because you’re mine.”
Jin closed the distance between them and put his arms around Kame’s waist.
“This is mine,” said the soloist as he pressed a soft kiss to Kame’s shoulder, and then pressed another kiss on Kame’s neck. “And this is mine.”
Kame threw his head back and laughed. In a moment of paranoia, Jin wondered if Kame had laughed because he had been tickled by Jin’s kisses or because he found the idea of the soloist ‘owning’ him laughable.
“What?” Jin asked, frowning. Kame thought he’d never seen the other man look so cute.
“I was just thinking…” and Kame felt a blush creeping up his face as he suddenly remembered his conversation earlier with Ueda and Nakamaru about ‘taking the risk.’
Kame put his arms around Jin’s neck and with a wide grin said, “If I were yours, what would you do with me?”
“Hmm, I dunno,” Jin replied vaguely, already maneuvering them back into the hotel room and kissing every inch of Kame’s skin he could reach without crouching. The door closed behind them. “Maybe this…?”
Kame stilled a bit as Jin’s hand found its way between them, palming the smaller man’s growing erection rather affectionately. Kame couldn’t help but let out a moan as Jin continued to massage him, getting him more and more in the mood.
He hit two birds with one stone, Kame did, with steering the conversation away from the topic of Koki and then getting this from Jin. God, Kame wouldn’t know what to do if Jin found out about Koki. Kame trusted Jin, but would Jin trust Kame and Koki? He wouldn’t risk Koki’s image and their friendship.
“J - Jin - ” Kame stuttered, breathless, when they were finally naked and Akanishi was positioned between his legs, looking hungrier than ever. Jin looked up questioningly. “Do you - do you have - ”
And Jin’s face shone with understanding at that. He got off Kame, but to his surprise, Kame reached for his purse from the bedside table and took out a small square packet. So apparently, the younger man brought protection with him, too.
“What?”
Kame paused in the middle of tearing the item open and took his turn to look questioningly at Jin.
“N - nothing,” Jin replied, a bit disconcerted. “You bring that stuff with you all the time?” Jin tried, attempting to sound casual.
Kame raised an eyebrow, finally getting the condom out and nudging Jin to get back in between his legs.
“You don’t?”
At that, Akanishi turned a bit red and a tad too defensive.
“I do!” he exclaimed childishly. “I just thought - I mean - ”
"What, you assume that you're the ‘pitcher’ and so you should be the one to bring this stuff?" said an amused Kame, taking out a bottle of lube as well.
“Well I - ” and suddenly, Jin was at a loss of words. He hadn’t thought that an issue like this would come up. “I guess I did, you know, assume.”
Jin fell silent now, completely unsure of what to do or say. Kame smiled, his heart warming at the uncertainty in his boyfriend’s eyes. Jin was normally so confident and self-assured, and seeing this side of the older man somehow made Kame feel closer to him.
Kame brushed away a lock of hair from Jin’s forehead, “I admit I’ve never done this before with a guy. And to be honest, I’m a little scared. But, hey, if it’s with you, then I’m willing to try.”
Jin smiled back at him and brought their lips together, kissing his boyfriend deeply.
“So, how are we going to do this?” Kame asked, leaning back against the pillows.
“Well…” Jin looked away for a moment, unexpectedly feeling embarrassed at the younger man’s blunt question. “I’ll have to, uh, prepare you first.”
“Alright,” replied the idol, spreading his legs wider apart.
Jin took the lube and spread some onto his fingers, warming it. Kame averted his eyes, feeling apprehensive and yet excited at the same time.
The soloist let his hand hover tentatively on the inside of Kame’s thigh first.
“Just go ahead,” said Kame a little breathily, his hips shifting, seeking the warmth of Jin’s hand. “Please.”
And so Jin slipped his middle finger into Kame, slowly, almost lovingly, and he watched as the younger man tensed as he took more and more of Jin’s finger in.
“Are you alright?” Jin asked, trying his best not to pant because - god, Kame felt good around him, and this was just his finger.
Kame gave a quick little nod, fisting his hands on the sheets beside him. Jin slowly drew back his finger, observing the strange mixture of relief and displeasure on Kame’s face now. He kissed the inside of Kame’s thigh as he pushed his finger in again in an attempt to soothe the pain. At the same time, he managed to put the condom on him with his other hand.
“A - are you - ” Kame breathed out after several moments of Jin repeating the movement, his eyes clamped shut.
Jin thought he looked cute but - no, Jin, your boyfriend in pain isn’t cute. Don’t go there. Instead, Jin patiently waited for Kame to complete his sentence, all the while never ceasing his wrist movements.
“Are you going to - put it in - yet - ?” Kame ended breathlessly.
“Do you want me to?”
“No - ”
The answer took Jin aback so that he stopped moving his hand.
“I mean - I - ” Kame struggled to arrange the words in his head. “I don’t think I - ”
“It’s alright,” Jin replied after a few moments of confusion, pulling his finger out of Kame’s entrance as gently as possible. This was too fast for Kame after all. “We can just - do other things - ”
“Can we - would it be okay if - ”
Jin stared at Kame yet again, unsure what Kame was asking this time. Kame stared back at him wordlessly, slight embarrassment and determination to continue showing. Wait. Determination to continue? Jin glanced back down on Kame’s body and, of course, Kame was hard. Was he asking - ?
Jin gulped as Kame handed him another sachet and spoke in a quiet tone, “Put it on me…?”
Jin’s face faltered briefly into a frown, but he regained composure and told himself that it was okay. He has experience in this. Well, if one night from long ago of being catcher was considered experience. He took a deep breath and nodded.
“Is it alright?” Kame asked, propping himself up on his elbows to peer at Jin’s face.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Jin replied, leaning over Kame and kissing him again. “I can do it… for you.”
Kame was taken aback by the sudden display of affection, and for a moment he forgot to respond to the kiss. All coherent thought left him, though, when he finally felt Jin roll the condom over his shaft and Jin began preparing himself right in front of Kame. There was a bit of a pained expression on Jin’s face before he slowly began to look like he was enjoying it, and Kame briefly - and jealously - wondered why Jin was so ready to be bottom.
“Have you… done this before? Kame said, unsure if he was allowed to ask that at all.
Jin ceased his motions and smiled at Kame as he crept up the younger man’s body with wet kisses.
“Just once,” he said, shrugging but still smiling. “I’m okay, I promise.”
The taller man was back at eye level with Kame, so that Kame fell back down on the bed and closed his eyes as Jin’s warmth settled around his member. Kame was too scared to look at Jin, afraid to see that Jin was in too much pain and didn’t like this at all, but soon enough he felt the older man pull up very slowly, only to come back down again on his shaft, a bit faster than before, until they found a slow, steady rhythm that was just right for the both of them.
Jin sighed in relief as he found the correct pace. To be honest, despite agreeing so quickly to Kame’s request, Jin had been afraid of it not working out since he wasn’t accustomed to being bottom. It had started out rather painful at first, but Kame felt crazy hot inside him and Jin just kept going. But then, he thought it was all worth it, if only to hear his boyfriend’s unrestrained moans and to see the younger man practically writhing underneath him with every slight movement Jin made with his hips. Kame looked so fucking hot it should be illegal. Jin gasped suddenly as a shock of pleasure coursed through his body. Finally, he was actually starting to feel good. With a groan, he wrapped a hand around his own length, stroking and intensifying the sensations.
Kame’s thoughts lazily swirled around his head as his body slowly picked up the pace, becoming more and more eager to meet Jin’s plunges above him. He supposed he had been lucky, getting to fuck Jin and not the other way around, to bluntly put it. It wasn’t so much different from having sex with a girl, Kame thought as sweat began to form all over him and their tempo quickened, except that, Jin being a man and never really the one to be bottom, Jin was tighter than all the girls Kame had ever went to bed with.
That being said, it didn’t take Kame long before he cried Jin’s name and his nails dug at Jin’s hips. He came hard - definitely epic for a first time with a man. Jin fell over him, the both of them panting like they had been running for their lives.
“Are you - okay - ?” Kame asked indefinitely, eyes closed and his body limp on the bed. He felt Jin nod against his sweaty chest, and he was relieved to see as he opened his eyes that the older man’s eyes were closed but he was smiling in a satisfied way.
Next time, Kame guessed he wouldn’t be as lucky. He had to learn to be uke some time soon.
~end of Chapter 6~
Chapter 5
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