Without You is How I Disappear - Chapter 3 (Part 1)
Title: Without You is How I Disappear
Authors: superhero0008, carboncastel, cascadingmerrygoround @ Tumblr
Pairing: Akame, MaruDa, RyoDa (plus others)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Smut
Disclaimer: We own no one in this fic except some minor OC. We own the plot.
Summary: World of Johnny’s Entertainment is burning with glitz and glamour. At the very top is Crimson Glory, the famous pop duo made up of the incredibly charismatic Kamenashi Kazuya and the enthralling Ueda Tatsuya. They are alike in that they follow where their hearts take them. Akanishi Jin is a solo artist who just recently debuted, slowly working his way to the top. Nishikido Ryo is an actor, and he goes for what he wants. Nakamaru Yuichi is the agency’s official photographer, and he’s happy with what he has. And Johnny Kitagawa. He doesn't make it easy for any of them. Well, except for his favorites, Shirota Yuu and Taguchi Junnosuke, and most especially, Kamenashi. What is true and what is false in this industry of illusions? What will they hold onto and what should they let go of?
A/N: Hello there~ I think it’s gonna be who’ll reply to comments for this chapter again lol and despite the delay in the update I’m pervy proud to say that this chapter is, well… exciting. LOL idk I was excited about it. Oh ignore me and just read on! xD -superhero0008
Without You is How I Disappear
Chapter 3
Akanishi Jin whistled as he took hurried strides along the chilly sidewalk. It was just 6:30 in the morning and only a few early souls were out on the street, but Jin was on his way to a particular friend’s apartment. He yawned as he turned a corner and squinted at the just rising sun under the grey hoodie he was wearing. Sure, he didn’t get a lot of girls swooning and squealing at the sight of him like they did for Crimson Glory, but he still needed to be discreet about his whereabouts and activities.
It’s going to be a good day, at the very least, Jin thought as he stopped at an aged but impressive, classy looking building and almost jogged up to the entrance. The guard nodded to him, apparently informed of his visit, and Jin entered and took the elevator to the penthouse.
“Jin.”
A smiling Kamenashi Kazuya in a plain white shirt, denim shorts, and slippers greeted him as the elevator doors opened. It somehow surprised Jin to see the idol without some costume or makeup, but it also amazed him that Kame looked just as remarkable without said enhancements.
“Kazuya,” Jin said, nodding back his greeting.
Kame turned and led the way to his penthouse apartment door, Jin following at his heels.
“I was just going downstairs to check if you’ve arrived yet,” Kame explained, his voice echoing down the luxuriously decorated hallway. Jin looked around and it seemed like this entire floor had only one occupant. It’s got to cost a lot to own a floor all to yourself. “I’ve informed management that I have a visitor today, but sometimes they mix things up and I wasn’t sure if - ”
They reached Kame’s apartment entrance and, sure enough, Jin was met with large, intricately carved wooden double doors.
“All this from being in Crimson Glory, huh?” Jin cut Kame short, unable to restrain his awe. Kame smiled.
“Not to sound arrogant about it but,” Kame started, turning to Jin. “You haven’t seen anything except my door yet.”
Jin grinned, needing no convincing that Kame indeed wasn’t boasting and was only saying the truth.
The soloist thought he knew what to expect when Kame opened the doors, but he couldn’t help but be further stunned with the interior of the pop idol’s apartment.
“It’s like some kind of palace!” Jin exclaimed, ogling at the expensive-looking wooden furniture and the antique-looking decor that were perched on them. Kame laughed good-naturedly at his expression and disappeared into the kitchen.
“Feel free to roam around or sit down or whatever,” Kame called out. “I’ll just get us some breakfast.”
Jin chose to seat himself on the large sofa in front of a huge flatscreen television. He settled back into the luxuriously soft cushions and sighed contentedly. One day when he finally makes it big in the music industry, he will have a lifestyle just like this, an apartment just like Kame’s. Only maybe with different decor. Antique pieces freaked him out a bit, especially those creepy looking angels on the side tables.
In a few minutes, Kame came back from the kitchen and laid out food and drinks in an organized array (because the idol apparently was a neat freak like that) across the living room center table, also with several DVD movie titles in front of them. Jin didn’t really know which movie to choose though, or if he should choose at all, because it was, after all, Kame’s home.
With the awkward silence hanging about in the room and Kame sitting just a foot or so away from him on the sofa, Jin thought back just how he ended up here.
The two of them were talking at the end of PV shoot the previous day and they found out that today was a common day off. Since they had nothing planned, they kind of decided to hang out together on a whim.
Jin had first suggested to do something outdoors, but Kame said that he preferred to spend his precious free days at home in peace and quiet. Jin had then joked that if Kame preferred to stay at home then Jin would just visit him, to which Kame quite readily agreed. The soloist was surprised at how willing Kame was to give his address but thought it was okay, too. So they had agreed to spend the day together at Kame’s house, but they hadn’t exactly talked about what to do there.
“So, uhm…” Jin started, unsure of everything.
Kame’s lavishly intimidating living room didn’t help, as his voice seemed to bounce off the marble flooring and the glass stands that displayed several trophies and memorabilia. The younger man turned his head in Jin’s direction, looking curious at the anxiety Jin seemed to be suffering from.
“Did you, uh, did you hear about what happened to Ryo and Nakamaru-san yesterday?” Jin ended up saying, unable to think of anything else.
Thankfully, Kame looked interested in such topic. He even slouched in his spot on the sofa, deep in thought.
“I heard, but I don’t know what exactly happened.”
Jin nodded, trying to relax on the sofa as well.
“Everyone was talking about it on set after I came back from the dressing room. What did happen, though?” Kame asked, sitting up and facing Jin fully now.
The shirt that the younger man was wearing was made of a somewhat thin material, and so Jin admired the contours of the lean body that was partially visible for a moment, before realizing that he had to answer Kame’s question. Jin cleared his throat.
“I was watching from the side, but I don’t really know what happened, to be honest,” said Jin, tearing his gaze away from Kame’s smooth neck and settling on a fancy throw pillow set against a two-seater couch across the room. “It was Ryo’s turn to be photographed on set. Nakamaru-san was directing his poses, you know the usual stuff they ask you to do on photoshoots, and Ryo got annoyed or something. He said ‘I’m not doing this anymore, this is so gay!’ and he just walked right out of there. Nakamaru-san was quiet, but he was really offended, I could tell.”
“Oh,” said Kame, brow wrinkling in concern, “I guess that’s why I heard the staff saying that Nishikido-san was some kind of homophobe. Good thing Ueda wasn’t there to hear that, or else he’d have broken every bone in Nishikido’s body. Twice.”
Jin raised an amused eyebrow, letting his one hand rest on the sofa so that he could face Kame better.
“Really, Ueda-san? But he’s so - hmm… I dunno, pretty,” the soloist broke into a grin and added, “ - like you.”
“Should I be offended?” Kame asked skeptically, an eyebrow raising as well. Yet he was also somewhat pleased at the blunt flattery, “Ueda is a boxer, you know. And I play baseball. I could crack a bat over your head.”
Jin shook his head and laughed.
“Right, well, I’ll make sure not to get into fights with you two.”
“Speaking of fights,” Kame’s face turned serious again. “I hope this tension between Nishikido-san and Nakamaru-san doesn’t continue. We all work together to we have to get along.”
Jin thought Kame sounded so mature and practiced, but he nodded his agreement anyway.
“Ah, but why are we talking about them?” Jin asked suddenly, the tone of his voice changing as he redeemed himself from opening such topic. “It’s their problem and they’re already grownups. They can sort it by themselves.”
Jin was silent for a moment, simply looking at the idol. Kame gazed at Jin curiously. Then, with a soft laugh, Jin noted the amusement in Kame’s eyes when he saw that the idol already realized what Jin was planning to do.
Jin had already leaned into Kame’s space.
Jin pressed his lips to Kame’s. Slowly, he felt the soft lips of the younger man and savored the touch that got him curious. Not that Jin’s previous actions were merely alcohol effects, but he was happy that this time, they weren’t drunk. He could properly enjoy, he thought with a smirk.
They kissed once, and again as Jin’s arms wound themselves invitingly around Kame’s slim but toned shoulders. Not breaking their contact, Jin sat back in his spot, so that Kame then moved to straddle the soloist’s lap. Feeling the heat, and their erections, both tried to suppress their moans of approval at the body contact. Jin drew his face back and smiled up at Kame appreciatively, his hands sliding down the other’s shoulders and settling at the younger man’s waist.
“So are we just going to stare at each other like this?” said Kame teasingly, yet returning Jin’s smile.
“I hope not, because I’d like to do other things,” replied Jin, slipping his hands under Kame’s shirt and drawing circles with his thumbs on the toned abdomen.
Kame felt a thrill of nervousness and also excitement at Jin’s words. The other man was looking at Kame with an intense gaze now with his dark hair in his yes, and somehow there was something so irresistible in that devastatingly handsome face.
Jin kissed him again, and Kame parted his lips readily to let Jin’s tongue invade his mouth. As they kissed, Jin slid his hands further up Kame’s shirt and moved towards his chest, fingers brushing against his nipples, earning a less effectively concealed moan from the younger man. Then, the soloist pulled Kame’s shirt over his head, leaving the idol’s entire upper body exposed. Jin had of course seen photographs of the idol shirtless in magazines, but seeing the real thing was a different experience altogether. Jin eyed the toned body of the pop idol admiringly, licking his lips.
Somewhere at the back of Kame’s mind, he vaguely thought that perhaps he was being reckless in his actions towards Jin. Yet, he can’t deny the very strong attraction that he felt towards the other man. All coherent thought was then banished from Kame’s mind when he felt Jin’s hot mouth upon his chest.
Kame hissed as he felt Jin’s tongue on him, on his nipple, then on the other, all the while his hands massaged the older man’s head.
“You like that?” Jin naughtily asked as he grazed his teeth over Kame’s nipple, and the younger man had to gulp before answering.
“Y - yes,” he replied, sighing as he did so. “More - ”
Jin grinned as he moved to sucking and nibbling at Kame’s neck, letting his hands go south and massage the famous idol’s rear, both of them instinctively rubbing their erections together. Soon enough, Kame’s moans were loud enough, filling the otherwise silent apartment with his lasciviously incoherent vocalizations.
“Jin - ”
“What?”
Jin thought he had crossed some sort of boundary, because Kame suddenly pulled at his hair rather harshly for him to stop. Looking up, though, he found the younger man still grinning and looking like he wanted more.
“You’ve been doing - all the work,” Kame said, panting.
Jin smiled, “I don’t mind.”
All the same, Kame’s hands fell to Jin’s waist and slowly, teasingly undid his belt.
“What - Kame - are you - ”
His button and fly were open now, and Kame’s hand rested on the waistband of his boxers.
“Are you going to - give me a - ”
“Do you want me to?” Kame asked back, and Jin noted the hesitation in the younger man’s features.
Jin smiled kindly.
“You don’t have to.”
Kame smiled, relief written across his face, and his body seemed to relax under Jin’s touch.
“Yeah, maybe not today,” Kame said.
He pressed his lips against Jin’s again, but pulled back when Jin’s fingers curled around his wrists, keeping his hand on Jin’s boxers. Kame felt through them and could feel Jin’s arousal straining against the fabric. Kame looked up.
“But a handjob wouldn’t hurt, would it?” Jin said sheepishly.
Kame merely grinned as he kissed Jin again, hand already snaking its way down the older man’s boxers.
oOo
Tanaka Koki hadn’t been feeling well lately. It was probably because he hadn’t been getting enough sleep the past few days. He’d had a lot of trouble sleeping, tossing and turning in his bed. And when he did fall asleep, there were, of course, the occasional nightmares. He’d had those dreams many times before in the past, and they stopped for a while when Koki had become so busy with his career that he was just dead tired at the end of every day and would just fall into deep sleep. It was when there were lulls in between big projects that the nightmares would inexplicably return. But he would rather not think about that.
As the rapper passed by the polished glass doors of the agency, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection and was startled at the dark circles under his eyes. Well, whatever, it was nothing that make-up can’t hide, he thought, pushing his hoodie further down his face. Besides, the day was ending already, he noted as he looked at a window and up at the darkening sky outside.
Rounding a corner, Koki paused as he heard footsteps and a voice that was all too familiar to him. He stepped back and ducked behind a convenient decorative plant along the hallway, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. He stole a quick look from behind the plant’s abundant leaves.
The rapper saw the president, deep in conversation with a man that looked vaguely familiar to him. Koki had seen the man a few times before, and had been introduced to him at some point. He remembered that he was some kind of half-Japanese model and wanted to become a recording artist, and had even asked Koki for his help in the music scene once he debuted. What was his name again?
The younger man looked around before leaning in a little to say something in the president’s ear. Koki was struck by how strangely familiar they seemed to be with each other.
Johnny halted in his tracks, frowned, and said, “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, Yuu.”
Then the president resumed his walking, with the man called Yuu following behind him. Shirota Yuu. That was the young man’s name. But what was he doing here? And why did they seem so close?
Koki didn’t have time to think too much about it and turned on his heel to leave in the opposite direction. The person he least wanted to have a chat with right now was that old man. Besides, he couldn’t risk being caught eavesdropping on the president.
oOo
Ryo sat sulking in the corner of the bar, drinking his vodka alone. Ever since yesterday afternoon, he had been in a foul mood that refused to go away no matter how much he drank.
He looked around the club, wondering if there were any girls hot enough to angle for. He glanced at the area reserved for the VIP’s, hoping to see sexy sluts that usually hung around the famous personages that frequented the club.
Speaking of sluts, Ryo had already spotted one. A slut that was sitting with his friend Jin at a table. Yeah, he knew now why he hated that Kamenashi. Jin hadn’t told him anything directly, but Ryo had already noticed his friend’s unusual interest in the idol. Yes, Kamenashi was a shameless slut who somehow managed to charm Jin into fucking turning gay. Maybe it’s a Crimson Glory thing. That would certainly explain why he’d been feeling weird about Ueda lately.
Ryo enjoyed his conversations with Ueda. At least, it had started out innocently that way. It was nice to make such a good friend during the shooting of the PV and not be bored all the time. Then, there was that scene. The sight that started it all.
The Crimson Glory duo had to shoot in the fucking rain (artificial, of course) wearing these stupid flimsy white polo things that clung to their bodies. With damp hair framing his stunningly attractive face, his clothes clinging to every curve, every fucking toned muscle in his body, Ueda looked - there was no other word for it - pornographic. It was this image specifically that plagued Ryo. He had even dreamed about it once or twice and had woken up with a hard on and - fucking hell, was he actually gay for Ueda?
“One more,” Ryo growled at the bartender, banging his glass on the countertop demandingly.
“I’m sorry,” replied the woman pleasantly as she shook her head. “I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”
Ryo put down his glass angrily on the countertop, “Eeeeverybody’s giving me attitude now, eh?”
From beside him, the actor heard tittering. Ryo turned his head and saw a woman sitting on the chair next to him. She was smiling at him in a not so innocent way. She had a hot body and was showing a lot of skin too, Ryo thought as he eyed her from head to toe. Probably not as pretty as Ueda. But she was passable. Fuckable, at least.
“Are you giving me attitude too?” Ryo smirked at the woman, even as his words started to slur.
“Oh no, baby,” she replied, leaning forward. Ryo’s gaze flickered downward appreciatively to her ample cleavage which was emphasized by her movement. Noticing where Ryo was looking, the woman winked at him invitingly and said, “But you’re kinda hot. Maybe I can give you something else?”
Ryo could already think of a hundred things the woman could give him. A blowjob, of course. Or an STD. Or a baby. Ryo smiled drunkenly at his own private joke.
“And what will you give me?” Ryo asked, still smiling.
“You’ll have to find out,” and the woman gave Ryo’s thigh a squeeze. “See you in the back,” the woman glanced pointedly in the direction of the restrooms before leaving her seat.
The club was somewhat dark, but Ryo could clearly see the woman’s bright blonde hair by the flashing lights from the dance floor. He was able to follow her, although he was a little unsteady on his feet. He stumbled over something and was only saved from falling forward by someone’s strong grip on his arm.
“Nishikido-san!” said a voice that he recognized to be that of Kamenashi’s.
“What!” Ryo growled back irritably, jerking his arm away. The pop idol’s face was barely visible in the dim lighting.
“Are you alright?” asked Kame, genuinely concerned.
“I’m fine!”
Ryo slumped against the wall, eyeing Kame furiously before speaking again.
“Now, go away and get it on with your boyfriend, while I get laid with a woman like normal men do,” Ryo drawled, almost pushing Kame out of his way.
oOo
Part 2