Savior (Chapter 9 part 2)
Shou walked through the doors of the flat building, using his own human strength to push it open and walk across the carpeted flooring. He had been with Murai for a long time discussing theories, expressions, history, and any other questions Shou had about Murai’s encounters with the human world. Despite their conversation he never once skimmed over the subject of Tora, and it seemed that Murai had no intention of doing so either.
Shou immediately headed for the flight of stairs, but before he could do so he heard a voice from the office desk beside him.
“Hey, you!” Called a gruff, angry voice. Shou jumped around and stared in shock at Maruyama. He had a huge bruise on his head and a terribly swollen lip, and even though Shou’s attention should have been diverted to Maruyama’s wellbeing, he instantly panicked about Hiroto. “Who are you? You going to visit someone?”
“Erm, yes.” Shou mumbled. “I’m here to see Ogata, he’s a friend of mine.”
Maruyama scowled at him and turned his head to the side.
“Ogata...” He muttered to himself. “I’ve never seen you here before... what’s your name?”
Shou gulped and rolled his eyes to quickly remember the fake name that Murai had given him. He had practised it all the way to the building, but now that he was under pressure he found himself forgetting it in an instant.
“Kohara Kazamasa.” He blurted the moment he remembered. He bowed quickly and attempted a short smile. “I’ve only recently got back in contact with Ogata, as I’ve been away.”
Maruyama growled at him a little, obviously not completely convinced by his story, but nodded up to the stairs regardless.
“Try his door. I don’t think he’s in but you can try anyway.”
“Do you know where he went?” Shou asked politely.
“How the hell would I know?” He snapped. He sat back down on his chair and took a swig of beer. “He’d better have gone to get his rent; he still hasn’t paid and he’s given me shit about it.”
Shou raised an eyebrow and started climbing the stairs.
“Ok, well thank you for your help.” He replied before running up the stairs. Maruyama watched every step that Shou took and even leant over the desk to continue spying. Shou could tell he was doing it, but he didn’t care, all he cared about was finding Hiroto. He could tell something had gone wrong.
Once he got to Hiroto’s door he knocked lightly on the wooden surface. “Hiroto?” He called. “Please open the door.”
There was no answer. Shou listened against the wooden door. After a few seconds he heard shuffling inside the flat. He perked back up and knocked on the door a little harder. “Hiroto! You’re there!”
“Shou?” Came a muffled, high pitched voice. Shou screwed his face up when he heard the fear in Hiroto’s voice and immediately tried the door handle. The moment he found it was locked he sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. If he had continued to stay in his more Angel form then he wouldn’t have had a problem getting into Hiroto’s flat.
“Please let me in Hiroto.” He called. There was a little more shuffling, and when Hiroto began to talk Shou could tell that he was closer to the door.
“Are you alone?” He asked.
“Yes.” Shou reassured. Once Shou had answered he heard something being dragged along the floor. A few moments later he heard something else being dragged away as well, and the longer it went on the more worried Shou became. Eventually he heard the door unlocking and as soon as there was a gap between the door and the doorway big enough, Shou darted through and grabbed Hiroto’s shoulders. He stared at Hiroto’s tear stained face and hugged him quickly. “What happened? I know something happened...”
Hiroto didn’t say anything. While Shou waited for any kind of response he stared in confusion at the state of the flat; the bed, the table and almost all of Hiroto’s belongings were piled up in the centre of the room. The objects Shou could see must have been what Hiroto had been dragging away from the door, but Shou wondered why he’d want to block his door so badly.
“Shou...” Hiroto whimpered. He clutched onto the foreign material that dressed the Angel and looked up at him. “Why are you different? You seem...”
He inspected Shou up and down. He was wearing normal clothing; a white T-shirt, a loose black cardigan without sleeves and blue jeans. He looked just like any 20 year old guy would normally do, except for the fact that Hiroto knew better. The obvious, divine like aura had disappeared and instead Shou was standing before him just like any other man would do. Hiroto wasn’t sure whether he felt upset or safe; the mystical aura had gone but there was something about Shou that would never leave him, something that Hiroto valued more than his Angel status. Along with that Shou seemed so much more human, so much more apparent and so much more alive that Hiroto felt like his presence meant more than it had done before.
He held Shou’s hand and stared at it. Even though Shou had changed, he still felt the same buzz that he would normally encounter whenever he touched him. Despite feeling the same relief and happiness, he could sense an immense difference; before the change there was a definite divide and now that Shou was more ‘down to earth’ it felt like their hands fit perfectly together, just like a jigsaw puzzle.
“I’ve decided to stay visible to humans.” He explained, “It means I have to act more human and look more human. I wanted you to feel more at ease with me, so I hope it works.”
Hiroto felt his whole body quiver. He held onto Shou tighter and shook so hard that he started making Shou shake with him. He couldn’t understand why Shou wanted to change for him. Why would he make such a sacrifice for someone who couldn’t keep their own money, who couldn’t keep himself safe and couldn’t fight his attackers?
He sniffled and bit his lip. No - he didn’t want to cry anymore. He was sick of crying; sitting in his room and wailing to himself because he was terrified of the door opening. He decided he was going to accept what Shou was doing for him. He had already shouted at Sakamoto for helping him, and the moment that Sakamoto left was one of the lonliest moments of his life. I need to stop pushing people away. He thought to himself. I need to be honest, I need to accept help, and I need to accept my feelings.
“Thank you.” Hiroto responded. “Thank you for doing so much for me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for coming down and changing my life even if I didn’t believe in you at first. Thank you for ignoring me and sticking with me despite what I’ve done or said.” He finally found the courage to look at Shou straight in the eye and talk. “Maybe it was hard to accept at first, but I can’t help it. I really love you and I don’t care if you can’t say the same back, because you’ve done enough for me already.”
He continued to stare Shou in the eye, but Shou was finding it difficult to keep looking at Hiroto. His wide eyes were starting to fill up with tears, and a familiar feeling was creeping up in his chest. This time it was overpowering, and even though he thought that crying in front of Hiroto was the wrong thing to do, he couldn’t do anything about it. How could he stop himself from crying when he couldn’t conjure up anything to say back?
Shou had heard of poems that made people cry. He’d heard of songs that could bring tears to people’s eyes. He’d seen books do it, movies do it and pictures do it, but he’d never experienced it before. How could 4 useless words mean so much to him? It didn’t make any sense, but it didn’t have to make sense, and for the first time in Shou’s lifetime on Earth he had finally made sense of the emotion in his head. It wasn’t a sad emotion at all, it was a loving one.
“I can reply to that.” Shou announced. “I don’t care if Tora finds me with the intention to kill, because if I never told you the truth then I would never forgive myself.” He gulped and closed his eyes to let a few more tears drop. “You are the only being I have ever loved, human or Angel, there is only you. If I had understood human emotion before I arrived then I would have realised the moment I heard you call. There is no doubt in my mind that we were linked for an important reason, and I don’t mean because I was assigned to take care of you.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “You have taught me so much that you are the one who has taken care of me. But every time I can’t help you I panic and I worry. Finding you in here, terrified, blocking the door with every possession you have... it makes me want to cry with you because I’ve failed.”
“You haven’t failed.” Hiroto muttered, “How could you fail?”
“Please...” Shou pleaded. He looked at Hiroto seriously. “Tell me what’s happened.”
Hiroto looked away and bit his lip. He’d gotten so wrapped up in Shou’s words that he’d forgotten what he was scared about. He cleared his throat and nervously began his story.
“Maruyama, the landlord.” He explained, “He’s not a nice guy.” He paused and ended up walking away from Shou. He fell down onto one of the cushions in the back and stared at the floorboards. “He’s a criminal; he deals drugs, drinks all the time and has started joining in with his friends when they sell themselves for sex, drugs and money. I’ve heard it happening quite a lot.”
Shou scowled and walked over to Hiroto. Even though Shou was walking over to him, Hiroto couldn’t lift his head up. He felt sick having to explain something so embarrassing to Shou but he knew he had to. “I couldn’t pay my rent, so Maruyama told me to sell myself for it. He said that if I gave myself to him he would let me off for a whole month, but I didn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. It’s disgusting and pathetic. But eventually I realised that if I didn’t do what he said then I would be on the streets, so for a while I wasn’t sure if I had a choice.”
Teardrops fell to the floor. As soon as Hiroto spotted them he rubbed his eyes furiously. He hadn’t wanted to cry, but deep down he knew he’d done well not to cry up until that point. “Today I went to give him the money for my rent but he wouldn’t accept it. He said that he would only let me stay if I slept with him, but when I refused he grabbed me and tried to force me into it. I tried to get him off but I couldn’t...”
“You mean he...” Shou stopped. The phrase had entered his mind without any problem. He knew that some humans would go so far to deal with things but it had never bothered him until that moment. That man had raped Hiroto? He felt as if he were going to be sick.
“No. He didn’t get the chance.” Hiroto explained. “He only got so far before Sakamoto found me. He must have found out where I lived and gone to visit me.”
“B-but how far did he get?” Shou asked, panic stricken. “Did he touch you? Did he hurt you?” Hiroto sighed and held his head.
“He didn’t hurt me...”
Shou started shaking. He span around and stormed towards the door. His heartbeat was racing at an incredibly high speed and it felt like it would explode if he heard any more about Hiroto’s accident. He threw the door open so forcefully that it hit the wall, but before he could make his way out of the flat he felt Hiroto tug on his arm. “Shou! Don’t!”
“That man can’t do these things to you!” Shou snapped. He stared at Hiroto with an expression he’d never seen him pull. His eyes were fiery and wild, almost like an animal out to kill. “After what he’s done he shouldn’t be allowed to look at you! He deserves... I feel like I could...”
“You can’t do anything! You’ll get in too much trouble!” Hiroto whined. He pulled on Shou harder. “If you mess with him then you’re messing with a huge group of people, you’d end up getting killed!”
“They can’t kill me!” Shou cried. His fury was getting so out of control that he couldn’t stop shouting and he couldn’t stop talking. “Even if they could, I wouldn’t care! As long as he is gone! As long as he can never threaten anyone again!”
“Please!” Hiroto cried back. Shou managed to stop himself from ranting and let Hiroto speak. He was so worn out that he couldn’t shout as loud as Shou but he hoped he could talk some sense into him. “Please just stay with me? I don’t want anything else to happen. I just want to stay with you. I’d be much happier that way.”
The longer Shou looked into Hiroto’s eyes the softer his heart felt. He managed to cool from his rage but still felt incredible hate for the man that he had just met. He couldn’t seem to shake the anger off, but he could suppress it just enough for Hiroto’s liking. He gulped and nodded. At the very least, he thought, he was far too shook up to cry anymore.
Shou shut the door and turned around to Hiroto who was staring at him at awe. He gulped and pursed his lips. “You’re pretty damn angry.”
“Of course I am.” Shou sighed. He scratched his head. “He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what he’s done.”
Hiroto walked away and sat himself on the mattress that was now in the middle of the room. He faced away from Shou and tapped his feet on the wooden surface. After seeing Shou’s reaction he wasn’t sure what the Angel thought; it was making him paranoid. He cleared his throat and chose to be brave with his words, again.
“If he had raped me, would you let me hug you again?” He asked quietly. Shou snapped his gaze to the small figure on the mattress. Silence filled the air awkwardly. “Would you let me sleep next to you like before? Would you let me kiss you again? Would you even want to be with me at all?”
Shou felt his heart crack. How could Hiroto say such things? The only person he had ever loved was terrified that he wasn’t honest with the clearest emotions he had ever felt. Shou stumbled over to the mattress and knelt on the soft surface. He wrapped his arms around Hiroto’s chest and delved his head into Hiroto’s shoulder.
“Of course I would.” Shou choked. “Why would I have told you I loved you if that were the case?” He held Hiroto as tight as he could, this time for his own reassurance and not just Hiroto’s. “But it will never happen. I will never let that happen.” Hiroto turned himself around and stared at Shou for a few seconds until their lips crashed together and they kissed hungrily.
Hiroto pushed Shou down onto the mattress. He fell down on top of him and continued to kiss him, pushing his tongue into Shou’s mouth and grabbing his shirt. He couldn’t stop himself from moving his hands around Shou’s body, examining every feature while roaming around inside his mouth. But after a few minutes he needed to stop - something was troubling him and it was blocking him from going any further.
He stared into Shou’s eyes. The angel was staring back at him naively. It was at that moment that he knew he had to stop; Shou was just as innocent as he was, if not more so, and after what had happened earlier in the day he couldn’t possibly carry on with an act that had terrified him only hours ago.
“I...” Hiroto began. He couldn’t explain himself to Shou at all, so instead he fell on top of him and hugged him. “I’m sorry.”
Shou kissed Hiroto’s cheek and continued to hug him, all at the same time as catching his breath.
“You don’t need to apologise.” Shou whispered.
They hugged for the rest of the night until Hiroto fell asleep in Shou’s arms. Shou found it impossible to sleep, so instead he decided to watch Hiroto slumber on top of him. As beautiful as he found the sight, he couldn’t stop thinking of what the next day would bring. Hiroto had to deal with Maruyama and Shou had to deal with Tora. Since Shou had confessed his love for Hiroto he knew that the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but as he shared his warmth with Hiroto, laid on his bed and listened to his heartbeat, he knew it was the right direction to follow.
.
Shou immediately headed for the flight of stairs, but before he could do so he heard a voice from the office desk beside him.
“Hey, you!” Called a gruff, angry voice. Shou jumped around and stared in shock at Maruyama. He had a huge bruise on his head and a terribly swollen lip, and even though Shou’s attention should have been diverted to Maruyama’s wellbeing, he instantly panicked about Hiroto. “Who are you? You going to visit someone?”
“Erm, yes.” Shou mumbled. “I’m here to see Ogata, he’s a friend of mine.”
Maruyama scowled at him and turned his head to the side.
“Ogata...” He muttered to himself. “I’ve never seen you here before... what’s your name?”
Shou gulped and rolled his eyes to quickly remember the fake name that Murai had given him. He had practised it all the way to the building, but now that he was under pressure he found himself forgetting it in an instant.
“Kohara Kazamasa.” He blurted the moment he remembered. He bowed quickly and attempted a short smile. “I’ve only recently got back in contact with Ogata, as I’ve been away.”
Maruyama growled at him a little, obviously not completely convinced by his story, but nodded up to the stairs regardless.
“Try his door. I don’t think he’s in but you can try anyway.”
“Do you know where he went?” Shou asked politely.
“How the hell would I know?” He snapped. He sat back down on his chair and took a swig of beer. “He’d better have gone to get his rent; he still hasn’t paid and he’s given me shit about it.”
Shou raised an eyebrow and started climbing the stairs.
“Ok, well thank you for your help.” He replied before running up the stairs. Maruyama watched every step that Shou took and even leant over the desk to continue spying. Shou could tell he was doing it, but he didn’t care, all he cared about was finding Hiroto. He could tell something had gone wrong.
Once he got to Hiroto’s door he knocked lightly on the wooden surface. “Hiroto?” He called. “Please open the door.”
There was no answer. Shou listened against the wooden door. After a few seconds he heard shuffling inside the flat. He perked back up and knocked on the door a little harder. “Hiroto! You’re there!”
“Shou?” Came a muffled, high pitched voice. Shou screwed his face up when he heard the fear in Hiroto’s voice and immediately tried the door handle. The moment he found it was locked he sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. If he had continued to stay in his more Angel form then he wouldn’t have had a problem getting into Hiroto’s flat.
“Please let me in Hiroto.” He called. There was a little more shuffling, and when Hiroto began to talk Shou could tell that he was closer to the door.
“Are you alone?” He asked.
“Yes.” Shou reassured. Once Shou had answered he heard something being dragged along the floor. A few moments later he heard something else being dragged away as well, and the longer it went on the more worried Shou became. Eventually he heard the door unlocking and as soon as there was a gap between the door and the doorway big enough, Shou darted through and grabbed Hiroto’s shoulders. He stared at Hiroto’s tear stained face and hugged him quickly. “What happened? I know something happened...”
Hiroto didn’t say anything. While Shou waited for any kind of response he stared in confusion at the state of the flat; the bed, the table and almost all of Hiroto’s belongings were piled up in the centre of the room. The objects Shou could see must have been what Hiroto had been dragging away from the door, but Shou wondered why he’d want to block his door so badly.
“Shou...” Hiroto whimpered. He clutched onto the foreign material that dressed the Angel and looked up at him. “Why are you different? You seem...”
He inspected Shou up and down. He was wearing normal clothing; a white T-shirt, a loose black cardigan without sleeves and blue jeans. He looked just like any 20 year old guy would normally do, except for the fact that Hiroto knew better. The obvious, divine like aura had disappeared and instead Shou was standing before him just like any other man would do. Hiroto wasn’t sure whether he felt upset or safe; the mystical aura had gone but there was something about Shou that would never leave him, something that Hiroto valued more than his Angel status. Along with that Shou seemed so much more human, so much more apparent and so much more alive that Hiroto felt like his presence meant more than it had done before.
He held Shou’s hand and stared at it. Even though Shou had changed, he still felt the same buzz that he would normally encounter whenever he touched him. Despite feeling the same relief and happiness, he could sense an immense difference; before the change there was a definite divide and now that Shou was more ‘down to earth’ it felt like their hands fit perfectly together, just like a jigsaw puzzle.
“I’ve decided to stay visible to humans.” He explained, “It means I have to act more human and look more human. I wanted you to feel more at ease with me, so I hope it works.”
Hiroto felt his whole body quiver. He held onto Shou tighter and shook so hard that he started making Shou shake with him. He couldn’t understand why Shou wanted to change for him. Why would he make such a sacrifice for someone who couldn’t keep their own money, who couldn’t keep himself safe and couldn’t fight his attackers?
He sniffled and bit his lip. No - he didn’t want to cry anymore. He was sick of crying; sitting in his room and wailing to himself because he was terrified of the door opening. He decided he was going to accept what Shou was doing for him. He had already shouted at Sakamoto for helping him, and the moment that Sakamoto left was one of the lonliest moments of his life. I need to stop pushing people away. He thought to himself. I need to be honest, I need to accept help, and I need to accept my feelings.
“Thank you.” Hiroto responded. “Thank you for doing so much for me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for coming down and changing my life even if I didn’t believe in you at first. Thank you for ignoring me and sticking with me despite what I’ve done or said.” He finally found the courage to look at Shou straight in the eye and talk. “Maybe it was hard to accept at first, but I can’t help it. I really love you and I don’t care if you can’t say the same back, because you’ve done enough for me already.”
He continued to stare Shou in the eye, but Shou was finding it difficult to keep looking at Hiroto. His wide eyes were starting to fill up with tears, and a familiar feeling was creeping up in his chest. This time it was overpowering, and even though he thought that crying in front of Hiroto was the wrong thing to do, he couldn’t do anything about it. How could he stop himself from crying when he couldn’t conjure up anything to say back?
Shou had heard of poems that made people cry. He’d heard of songs that could bring tears to people’s eyes. He’d seen books do it, movies do it and pictures do it, but he’d never experienced it before. How could 4 useless words mean so much to him? It didn’t make any sense, but it didn’t have to make sense, and for the first time in Shou’s lifetime on Earth he had finally made sense of the emotion in his head. It wasn’t a sad emotion at all, it was a loving one.
“I can reply to that.” Shou announced. “I don’t care if Tora finds me with the intention to kill, because if I never told you the truth then I would never forgive myself.” He gulped and closed his eyes to let a few more tears drop. “You are the only being I have ever loved, human or Angel, there is only you. If I had understood human emotion before I arrived then I would have realised the moment I heard you call. There is no doubt in my mind that we were linked for an important reason, and I don’t mean because I was assigned to take care of you.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “You have taught me so much that you are the one who has taken care of me. But every time I can’t help you I panic and I worry. Finding you in here, terrified, blocking the door with every possession you have... it makes me want to cry with you because I’ve failed.”
“You haven’t failed.” Hiroto muttered, “How could you fail?”
“Please...” Shou pleaded. He looked at Hiroto seriously. “Tell me what’s happened.”
Hiroto looked away and bit his lip. He’d gotten so wrapped up in Shou’s words that he’d forgotten what he was scared about. He cleared his throat and nervously began his story.
“Maruyama, the landlord.” He explained, “He’s not a nice guy.” He paused and ended up walking away from Shou. He fell down onto one of the cushions in the back and stared at the floorboards. “He’s a criminal; he deals drugs, drinks all the time and has started joining in with his friends when they sell themselves for sex, drugs and money. I’ve heard it happening quite a lot.”
Shou scowled and walked over to Hiroto. Even though Shou was walking over to him, Hiroto couldn’t lift his head up. He felt sick having to explain something so embarrassing to Shou but he knew he had to. “I couldn’t pay my rent, so Maruyama told me to sell myself for it. He said that if I gave myself to him he would let me off for a whole month, but I didn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. It’s disgusting and pathetic. But eventually I realised that if I didn’t do what he said then I would be on the streets, so for a while I wasn’t sure if I had a choice.”
Teardrops fell to the floor. As soon as Hiroto spotted them he rubbed his eyes furiously. He hadn’t wanted to cry, but deep down he knew he’d done well not to cry up until that point. “Today I went to give him the money for my rent but he wouldn’t accept it. He said that he would only let me stay if I slept with him, but when I refused he grabbed me and tried to force me into it. I tried to get him off but I couldn’t...”
“You mean he...” Shou stopped. The phrase had entered his mind without any problem. He knew that some humans would go so far to deal with things but it had never bothered him until that moment. That man had raped Hiroto? He felt as if he were going to be sick.
“No. He didn’t get the chance.” Hiroto explained. “He only got so far before Sakamoto found me. He must have found out where I lived and gone to visit me.”
“B-but how far did he get?” Shou asked, panic stricken. “Did he touch you? Did he hurt you?” Hiroto sighed and held his head.
“He didn’t hurt me...”
Shou started shaking. He span around and stormed towards the door. His heartbeat was racing at an incredibly high speed and it felt like it would explode if he heard any more about Hiroto’s accident. He threw the door open so forcefully that it hit the wall, but before he could make his way out of the flat he felt Hiroto tug on his arm. “Shou! Don’t!”
“That man can’t do these things to you!” Shou snapped. He stared at Hiroto with an expression he’d never seen him pull. His eyes were fiery and wild, almost like an animal out to kill. “After what he’s done he shouldn’t be allowed to look at you! He deserves... I feel like I could...”
“You can’t do anything! You’ll get in too much trouble!” Hiroto whined. He pulled on Shou harder. “If you mess with him then you’re messing with a huge group of people, you’d end up getting killed!”
“They can’t kill me!” Shou cried. His fury was getting so out of control that he couldn’t stop shouting and he couldn’t stop talking. “Even if they could, I wouldn’t care! As long as he is gone! As long as he can never threaten anyone again!”
“Please!” Hiroto cried back. Shou managed to stop himself from ranting and let Hiroto speak. He was so worn out that he couldn’t shout as loud as Shou but he hoped he could talk some sense into him. “Please just stay with me? I don’t want anything else to happen. I just want to stay with you. I’d be much happier that way.”
The longer Shou looked into Hiroto’s eyes the softer his heart felt. He managed to cool from his rage but still felt incredible hate for the man that he had just met. He couldn’t seem to shake the anger off, but he could suppress it just enough for Hiroto’s liking. He gulped and nodded. At the very least, he thought, he was far too shook up to cry anymore.
Shou shut the door and turned around to Hiroto who was staring at him at awe. He gulped and pursed his lips. “You’re pretty damn angry.”
“Of course I am.” Shou sighed. He scratched his head. “He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what he’s done.”
Hiroto walked away and sat himself on the mattress that was now in the middle of the room. He faced away from Shou and tapped his feet on the wooden surface. After seeing Shou’s reaction he wasn’t sure what the Angel thought; it was making him paranoid. He cleared his throat and chose to be brave with his words, again.
“If he had raped me, would you let me hug you again?” He asked quietly. Shou snapped his gaze to the small figure on the mattress. Silence filled the air awkwardly. “Would you let me sleep next to you like before? Would you let me kiss you again? Would you even want to be with me at all?”
Shou felt his heart crack. How could Hiroto say such things? The only person he had ever loved was terrified that he wasn’t honest with the clearest emotions he had ever felt. Shou stumbled over to the mattress and knelt on the soft surface. He wrapped his arms around Hiroto’s chest and delved his head into Hiroto’s shoulder.
“Of course I would.” Shou choked. “Why would I have told you I loved you if that were the case?” He held Hiroto as tight as he could, this time for his own reassurance and not just Hiroto’s. “But it will never happen. I will never let that happen.” Hiroto turned himself around and stared at Shou for a few seconds until their lips crashed together and they kissed hungrily.
Hiroto pushed Shou down onto the mattress. He fell down on top of him and continued to kiss him, pushing his tongue into Shou’s mouth and grabbing his shirt. He couldn’t stop himself from moving his hands around Shou’s body, examining every feature while roaming around inside his mouth. But after a few minutes he needed to stop - something was troubling him and it was blocking him from going any further.
He stared into Shou’s eyes. The angel was staring back at him naively. It was at that moment that he knew he had to stop; Shou was just as innocent as he was, if not more so, and after what had happened earlier in the day he couldn’t possibly carry on with an act that had terrified him only hours ago.
“I...” Hiroto began. He couldn’t explain himself to Shou at all, so instead he fell on top of him and hugged him. “I’m sorry.”
Shou kissed Hiroto’s cheek and continued to hug him, all at the same time as catching his breath.
“You don’t need to apologise.” Shou whispered.
They hugged for the rest of the night until Hiroto fell asleep in Shou’s arms. Shou found it impossible to sleep, so instead he decided to watch Hiroto slumber on top of him. As beautiful as he found the sight, he couldn’t stop thinking of what the next day would bring. Hiroto had to deal with Maruyama and Shou had to deal with Tora. Since Shou had confessed his love for Hiroto he knew that the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but as he shared his warmth with Hiroto, laid on his bed and listened to his heartbeat, he knew it was the right direction to follow.
.