Hezikiah, chapter 1: Some general, practical advice

[supergreak]

Well, here goes. 

1. Don’t suck
2. Neither a lender nor a borrower be. 
3. This above all: to thine own self be true
4. Recovering from a gunshot wound is not a vacation
5.  Just shove a bezoar down their throats
6. Never place a period where God has placed a comma
7. Put down the rock
8. Never deal with a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line.
9. Don't drink the water in T.J.
10. The better part of valor is discretion
11. A hot bath cures everything
12. Never give small boys chocolate then tell them to sit still in church.
13. You won't come back from Deadman's curve.
14. If in doubt, subdivide.
15. Always bring a book.
16. Especially if you are told that you won't need one
17. It never hurts to jettison the ballast in your life
18. Never, ever buy food from Ross
19. Never get involved in a land war in Asia
20. Beware of R.O.U.S.'s(Like Peter Pettigrew)
21. Don't let your friend's issues bog you down
22. Save the drama for your mama
23. Mourn the losses because they are many. But celebrate the victories because they are few
24. Pop!   The hometown bubble

1.  

Credits for chapter one quotes include: The Beach Boys, The Princess Bride, Deb(of Queer as Folk), marching band(quoting a drill tech and two different band directors), Severus Snape, my sister, my mom's best friend, Dad, some common knowledge in SoCal, William Shakespeare, and Jules Cassidy(of The Troubleshooters), and others.

Hezikiah basis is here, and the still-ongoing poll is here.

If you have any more general advice, or want to add something for the next section(or the one after that, or the one after that...), this is still a WIP.  Obviously.  And no offense is meant to anybody, I make no money, and this is just for fun.

Next chapter includes quotes such as "Thou shalt practice thine instrument".  Stay tuned for Chapter 2: How to stay sane