Nov 14, 2007 02:21
"I remember one morning, getting up at dawn. There was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: so, THIS is the beginning of happiness! This is where it starts! And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning.
"It WAS happiness.
"It was the moment.
"Right then."
"Oh, Mrs. Dalloway... Always giving parties to cover the silence. ...Just wait 'till I die. Then you'll have to think of yourself. How are you going to like that?"
A day later, and I'm still trying to process all that raw truth.
I've been doing my best since I got here.
I've been doing well, even.
But things need to change.
Or I'm gonna break down in the kitchen and throw out the cake, and the crab things, and try to hop a train to London, and before I drown in the ocean I'll think that I've fixed everything, and that'll just be silly, won't it?