well, that is that
We've reached the end. I mean, really. Evil boy (ex-husband) has been poking me in the eyeballs for eight (8!) years and now it's finished. Over. Done.
There is nothing - nothing - more that he can take me to court for.
(Are things "my way?" or even what I might suggest to be "ideal?" - far from it. But, that is an subject for another day)
Today, I feel as if I've awoken from an anxiety induced stupor.
Now what to do with myself? - Figuratively, of course. With mini Sportacus and the Michelin baby, I rarely have to wonder what to do next.
But, I've spent such a dreadfully long amount of time with the mindset that my "real" life will start when "this" (the painfully gruesome and exhausting rigor of ongoing legal process, ridicule and harassment) is over. It sounds ridiculous, perhpas; but I can imagine that it's really very difficult to understand how much life that such an ordeal literally sucks out of a person. Living with an ever present sense of impending dread of receiving a(nother) summons or awaiting a court date that I know will be drawn out excessively and riddled with exaggeration, accusations, scorn and contempt, I've not been able to mentally invest myself in many of the other things that I would have liked to. (I had two more kids, though, how 'bout that?)
And that is the end of anything I have to say about litigation.
Yay.hoo.
Really.
There's so much art and writing that I expect to have the emotional energy for now. And school. Well, maybe. But my mind should be so much less full (I know it sounds crazy) that I can return calls from my friends and make plans and look at a calendar without cringing.
But, back to this morning. First of all, FIRST, a trip to Fred Meyer because we're out (even emergency storage that I can usually dig out of the trunk of the car, out!)of both diapers and TP and that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And then a trip to the craft store, because I have an idea for a game that I want to make for the kiddos to play this evening.
It's so exciting to think about being to enjoy my family without a dark cloud looming over head. Especially when I hear things like something my 4-year old Sportacus said to me recently:
"Mommy, you're the cutest in the world! The cutest!"
hmm, wow, I thought, the cutest eh? he's the sweetest in the world...
"And you're bigger than the moon!"
*sigh* and good thing I fit back into my size 6 jeans with plenty of wiggle room, because that could have been harsh. :-)
There is nothing - nothing - more that he can take me to court for.
(Are things "my way?" or even what I might suggest to be "ideal?" - far from it. But, that is an subject for another day)
Today, I feel as if I've awoken from an anxiety induced stupor.
Now what to do with myself? - Figuratively, of course. With mini Sportacus and the Michelin baby, I rarely have to wonder what to do next.
But, I've spent such a dreadfully long amount of time with the mindset that my "real" life will start when "this" (the painfully gruesome and exhausting rigor of ongoing legal process, ridicule and harassment) is over. It sounds ridiculous, perhpas; but I can imagine that it's really very difficult to understand how much life that such an ordeal literally sucks out of a person. Living with an ever present sense of impending dread of receiving a(nother) summons or awaiting a court date that I know will be drawn out excessively and riddled with exaggeration, accusations, scorn and contempt, I've not been able to mentally invest myself in many of the other things that I would have liked to. (I had two more kids, though, how 'bout that?)
And that is the end of anything I have to say about litigation.
Yay.hoo.
Really.
There's so much art and writing that I expect to have the emotional energy for now. And school. Well, maybe. But my mind should be so much less full (I know it sounds crazy) that I can return calls from my friends and make plans and look at a calendar without cringing.
But, back to this morning. First of all, FIRST, a trip to Fred Meyer because we're out (even emergency storage that I can usually dig out of the trunk of the car, out!)of both diapers and TP and that just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And then a trip to the craft store, because I have an idea for a game that I want to make for the kiddos to play this evening.
It's so exciting to think about being to enjoy my family without a dark cloud looming over head. Especially when I hear things like something my 4-year old Sportacus said to me recently:
"Mommy, you're the cutest in the world! The cutest!"
hmm, wow, I thought, the cutest eh? he's the sweetest in the world...
"And you're bigger than the moon!"
*sigh* and good thing I fit back into my size 6 jeans with plenty of wiggle room, because that could have been harsh. :-)