labels and humanity
I saw this on tumblr and I had to respond.
I really enjoy the things that AQuietRevolutionary posts. She's even headed, fair, and open. She gets it, as we all like to say. BUT, this is something which people seem to agree with that I DON'T fully agree with. The piece basically says that labels are important and people who insist on not having any and wanting people to just be people are wrong. Some of the arguments are valid and sound. When you remove one groups insistence on being labelled you are robbing them of the choice to define themselves in a way they'd prefer. Not how YOU prefer but how THEY prefer.
But labels are also a way in which we continue to box each other in, even within our own little bubble of otherness, or own little community of marginalized people coming together to try and fight the hegemony together.
So for example, if you are bisexual but you don’t like the word bisexual. You don’t agree with that label for yourself. You are allowed to feel that way and consider yourself undefined and go on living your life having sex with men and women and want to be just a person in this world existing. Because we’re all not super clear on who we are and it takes a long time to get there and define ourselves in a way that makes us happy. All that on top of society and people in your own demographic (the gay/straight community) telling you that what you are isn’t real and that you can’t be bi because you’re probably just gay and in denial or straight and making a mockery of homosexuality. This is a real thing. In the gay community there is a lot of weirdness with regard to bisexuality.
In my own personal case, and case studies aren’t generalizable but bear with me please, I often feel a resistance toward telling others I am Chinese. Not because I am ashamed of being Chinese. I am very proud of my birth country, my ability to walk that line between eastern and western cultures, my bilingualism, and all the physical traits that come along with NOT being white. I feel a resistance toward ethnic and nationality labels because when you’re Asian, any Asian, there is a compulsion for EVERYONE (although more white people than black/Hispanic people because I suspect they get why it’s annoying) to try and guess who you are. What are you? Where are you from? No where are you FROM? I KNEW you were Chinese. See I could tell you apart. I’m good at that.
I hate it because it is once again the society I have come to identify most with is othering me. I am being put at the forefront as being alien and in order to complete my otherness this person must first identify where I am from. I’m from Delaware. No I mean where are you FROM? Like where were you BORN? I was born in China but in cases like this I lie. I am American now. That is the label I choose. I took a test and I renounced my Chinese citizenship. Don’t strip me of that because you aren’t able to grasp the idea that someone who is not white can possibly be native to your country.
So in some ways labels are good because we can choose to define ourselves by the one we choose and in doing so forcing society to except us on our own terms. But labels are dangerous when we INSIST on having them, even counter to an individual’s own wishes and desires and preferences. Are you bisexual? No. You’re not. You are gay. Step out of the closet already. Are you American? No. You’re not. You’re clearly some kind of Mexican or whatever. Are you Black? No. You’re not. You definitely look mixed. Labels make us rigid and can limit our own world views no matter how open minded or progressive we think we are. Even when we have been marginalized either as women or Chinese or homosexuals we can see someone else and marginalize them. Feminists and the big glaring issue in that community when it comes to minority women is one great example. Just because you are a white WOMAN doesn’t make you exempt from WHITE privilege.
My issue with the whole “where are you FROM thing" is probably especially relatable to people in the Latino and Hispanic community or African immigrants or Native Americans. For them it’s about the country or specific nation they are from. Are they Cuban? Ghanaian? Kenyan? Mexican? Cherokee? All of these countries and communities, no matter how small, have their own specific culture and history and what someone does by mistaking us for one thing when we are another or insisting we define ourselves for them, is lumping us together as one homogeneous group. Stripping us of our individuality and diminishing the importance of the myriad and spectrum of cultures and backgrounds that comes with being “Asian" or “Hispanic" or “Native American." People from African nations especially feel this because it is so often glued together into one giant landmass. So where are you from? Guinea. Guinea? It’s a country in Africa. OOOH so you’re AFRICAN! That is such a frequent complaint people from African nations have about Americans. No. They are not African. That is the name of the continent. These people have identities beyond just “Africa."
I understand the sense of community that can come from being just gay. The gay community is supportive, vibrant, and passionate. But at the same time we run the risk of forgetting how broad words like “gay" and “woman" and “black" are, that they mean something for one group but a completely different thing to other groups and that unless we truly understand that community and its nuances we can never truly understand what those labels mean to them.
So yes. Labels are important in some ways but they are only as important as how we define them, how rigid we are in our own belief systems, and how willing we are to allow people to find ways to personalize those labels for themselves. After all. People are individuals in very unique ways, in the very most basic ways of their genetics but also in the very most complex ways of their human experience. Gay, straight, cis, trans, Chinese, Latino, Woman, Man. These are all such broad demographics of people, even when some are so heavily marginalized. It is understandable to have that compulsion to be something more, to move beyond it, to find it restrictive when others find it liberating.
I really enjoy the things that AQuietRevolutionary posts. She's even headed, fair, and open. She gets it, as we all like to say. BUT, this is something which people seem to agree with that I DON'T fully agree with. The piece basically says that labels are important and people who insist on not having any and wanting people to just be people are wrong. Some of the arguments are valid and sound. When you remove one groups insistence on being labelled you are robbing them of the choice to define themselves in a way they'd prefer. Not how YOU prefer but how THEY prefer.
But labels are also a way in which we continue to box each other in, even within our own little bubble of otherness, or own little community of marginalized people coming together to try and fight the hegemony together.
So for example, if you are bisexual but you don’t like the word bisexual. You don’t agree with that label for yourself. You are allowed to feel that way and consider yourself undefined and go on living your life having sex with men and women and want to be just a person in this world existing. Because we’re all not super clear on who we are and it takes a long time to get there and define ourselves in a way that makes us happy. All that on top of society and people in your own demographic (the gay/straight community) telling you that what you are isn’t real and that you can’t be bi because you’re probably just gay and in denial or straight and making a mockery of homosexuality. This is a real thing. In the gay community there is a lot of weirdness with regard to bisexuality.
In my own personal case, and case studies aren’t generalizable but bear with me please, I often feel a resistance toward telling others I am Chinese. Not because I am ashamed of being Chinese. I am very proud of my birth country, my ability to walk that line between eastern and western cultures, my bilingualism, and all the physical traits that come along with NOT being white. I feel a resistance toward ethnic and nationality labels because when you’re Asian, any Asian, there is a compulsion for EVERYONE (although more white people than black/Hispanic people because I suspect they get why it’s annoying) to try and guess who you are. What are you? Where are you from? No where are you FROM? I KNEW you were Chinese. See I could tell you apart. I’m good at that.
I hate it because it is once again the society I have come to identify most with is othering me. I am being put at the forefront as being alien and in order to complete my otherness this person must first identify where I am from. I’m from Delaware. No I mean where are you FROM? Like where were you BORN? I was born in China but in cases like this I lie. I am American now. That is the label I choose. I took a test and I renounced my Chinese citizenship. Don’t strip me of that because you aren’t able to grasp the idea that someone who is not white can possibly be native to your country.
So in some ways labels are good because we can choose to define ourselves by the one we choose and in doing so forcing society to except us on our own terms. But labels are dangerous when we INSIST on having them, even counter to an individual’s own wishes and desires and preferences. Are you bisexual? No. You’re not. You are gay. Step out of the closet already. Are you American? No. You’re not. You’re clearly some kind of Mexican or whatever. Are you Black? No. You’re not. You definitely look mixed. Labels make us rigid and can limit our own world views no matter how open minded or progressive we think we are. Even when we have been marginalized either as women or Chinese or homosexuals we can see someone else and marginalize them. Feminists and the big glaring issue in that community when it comes to minority women is one great example. Just because you are a white WOMAN doesn’t make you exempt from WHITE privilege.
My issue with the whole “where are you FROM thing" is probably especially relatable to people in the Latino and Hispanic community or African immigrants or Native Americans. For them it’s about the country or specific nation they are from. Are they Cuban? Ghanaian? Kenyan? Mexican? Cherokee? All of these countries and communities, no matter how small, have their own specific culture and history and what someone does by mistaking us for one thing when we are another or insisting we define ourselves for them, is lumping us together as one homogeneous group. Stripping us of our individuality and diminishing the importance of the myriad and spectrum of cultures and backgrounds that comes with being “Asian" or “Hispanic" or “Native American." People from African nations especially feel this because it is so often glued together into one giant landmass. So where are you from? Guinea. Guinea? It’s a country in Africa. OOOH so you’re AFRICAN! That is such a frequent complaint people from African nations have about Americans. No. They are not African. That is the name of the continent. These people have identities beyond just “Africa."
I understand the sense of community that can come from being just gay. The gay community is supportive, vibrant, and passionate. But at the same time we run the risk of forgetting how broad words like “gay" and “woman" and “black" are, that they mean something for one group but a completely different thing to other groups and that unless we truly understand that community and its nuances we can never truly understand what those labels mean to them.
So yes. Labels are important in some ways but they are only as important as how we define them, how rigid we are in our own belief systems, and how willing we are to allow people to find ways to personalize those labels for themselves. After all. People are individuals in very unique ways, in the very most basic ways of their genetics but also in the very most complex ways of their human experience. Gay, straight, cis, trans, Chinese, Latino, Woman, Man. These are all such broad demographics of people, even when some are so heavily marginalized. It is understandable to have that compulsion to be something more, to move beyond it, to find it restrictive when others find it liberating.