waah waah waah
Ok, guys, I need to STOP BUYING THINGS.
I've been going a little crazy lately with the online shopping. This thing's on sale or "oh! I need a new pair of tights because those other ones got runs in them" and then suddenly its "well this bomber jacket is just too cute." But it's really addictive, guys. I love opening up new packages and waiting for stuff to come in the mail. I love getting mail in general actually but you don't really get it that often anymore these days. Opening emails just isn't the same.
But it's more than my pathological need to open packages. I swear!
Anyway, I'm vowing not to purchase another thing until the new year. The only things I'm allowed to spend money on are food, gas, and alcohol. Because I'm an alcoholic. And without booze I will wither away and die.
T_T;;;;
Do you know that this is a specifically middle class quandary? Because really if I was worrying over a mortage, family, bills, starvation, etc... I would not even need to worry that I'm buying too many things. I would have no need for things. Sometimes I feel like such an asshole when I'm thinking to myself how I could totally just blow all my money on everything I ever want because I have no responsibilities in the world and could probably become a vagabond wondering the planet. If only I wasn't weighed down by needless ambition and a desire to make more money and then spend it on more stuff. God, what has capitalism done to me?
I think for me this year is my last hurrah before I isolate myself in a hole and don't come out until spring when it's time to take my MCATs. Again. For the third time. Because standardized tests kick my ass so hard it's not even funny. Mom's been subtly trying to remind me that there's this thing called medical school I said at some point I wanted to go to because due to my blase demeanor it seems from her end I don't care. But really she's freaking out and actually I'm freaking out but the both of us are playing it cool. Buying stuff and getting super trashed and doing nothing but knitting and writing with my free time is my way of interacting with society one last time.
Before I die.
Or something.
No. I'm just being dramatic. But seriously. Stop spending money, Lian! It's unseemly.
In other news, NaNoWriMo might actually be picking up. I just wrote the first monster battle scene for my main heroine and it's really gotten my juices going. I've been worried a little that she comes off flat and monotone so I'm going to try and throw in a scene to explain why she's so distant and anti-social. And also super efficient at self-defense. I keep reminding myself that they are teenagers and while some teenagers are blackbelts in various martial arts, not all of them are. I have this group of high schoolers and it's a lot of keep track of so I might start killing more off soon just so I wont have to deal with it.
The funny thing is I always mean to write farcical things but the psychology major in me feels compelled to make my character's behaviors believable. For example, it's totally awesome when your 18-year-old heroine can take down a monster with a cooking knife but in a normal social situation having skills like that probably says a lot about the kind of person you are, and those things probably aren't favorable. I want this girl to be "normal" in that she's not psychotic but at the same time I want her to feel the kind of weird and unhinged that doesn't work well in the real world but is perfectly adapted to extreme situations like supernatural monster take-overs. I want the audience to understand this isn't meant to be typical normal human behavior but that in this scenario she's the perfectly evolved survival machine.
At the same time I don't just want to write about teenagers sobbing in corners. Even though if this were me in some sort of zombie apocalpyse I would totally be that person. It's logical and it's reasonable and that's what people would really be like but it's obviously not too interesting to write or read about.
I've been going a little crazy lately with the online shopping. This thing's on sale or "oh! I need a new pair of tights because those other ones got runs in them" and then suddenly its "well this bomber jacket is just too cute." But it's really addictive, guys. I love opening up new packages and waiting for stuff to come in the mail. I love getting mail in general actually but you don't really get it that often anymore these days. Opening emails just isn't the same.
But it's more than my pathological need to open packages. I swear!
Anyway, I'm vowing not to purchase another thing until the new year. The only things I'm allowed to spend money on are food, gas, and alcohol. Because I'm an alcoholic. And without booze I will wither away and die.
T_T;;;;
Do you know that this is a specifically middle class quandary? Because really if I was worrying over a mortage, family, bills, starvation, etc... I would not even need to worry that I'm buying too many things. I would have no need for things. Sometimes I feel like such an asshole when I'm thinking to myself how I could totally just blow all my money on everything I ever want because I have no responsibilities in the world and could probably become a vagabond wondering the planet. If only I wasn't weighed down by needless ambition and a desire to make more money and then spend it on more stuff. God, what has capitalism done to me?
I think for me this year is my last hurrah before I isolate myself in a hole and don't come out until spring when it's time to take my MCATs. Again. For the third time. Because standardized tests kick my ass so hard it's not even funny. Mom's been subtly trying to remind me that there's this thing called medical school I said at some point I wanted to go to because due to my blase demeanor it seems from her end I don't care. But really she's freaking out and actually I'm freaking out but the both of us are playing it cool. Buying stuff and getting super trashed and doing nothing but knitting and writing with my free time is my way of interacting with society one last time.
Before I die.
Or something.
No. I'm just being dramatic. But seriously. Stop spending money, Lian! It's unseemly.
In other news, NaNoWriMo might actually be picking up. I just wrote the first monster battle scene for my main heroine and it's really gotten my juices going. I've been worried a little that she comes off flat and monotone so I'm going to try and throw in a scene to explain why she's so distant and anti-social. And also super efficient at self-defense. I keep reminding myself that they are teenagers and while some teenagers are blackbelts in various martial arts, not all of them are. I have this group of high schoolers and it's a lot of keep track of so I might start killing more off soon just so I wont have to deal with it.
The funny thing is I always mean to write farcical things but the psychology major in me feels compelled to make my character's behaviors believable. For example, it's totally awesome when your 18-year-old heroine can take down a monster with a cooking knife but in a normal social situation having skills like that probably says a lot about the kind of person you are, and those things probably aren't favorable. I want this girl to be "normal" in that she's not psychotic but at the same time I want her to feel the kind of weird and unhinged that doesn't work well in the real world but is perfectly adapted to extreme situations like supernatural monster take-overs. I want the audience to understand this isn't meant to be typical normal human behavior but that in this scenario she's the perfectly evolved survival machine.
At the same time I don't just want to write about teenagers sobbing in corners. Even though if this were me in some sort of zombie apocalpyse I would totally be that person. It's logical and it's reasonable and that's what people would really be like but it's obviously not too interesting to write or read about.