Nice weekend...and something exciting, maybe?
So, it is Saturday night and Andy, Noelle and I (and all of the furry Supers) are curled up under fluffy comforters around a warm fire. The Land Before Time (Noelle's latest favorite from the Lauren's Favorite Movies from the late 80s collection) is on the TV. Andy's browsing ESPN.com and I'm catching up on LJ. I haven't been out of the house today and spent most of it playing board games with Noelle, actually took a nap, and had a great workout (Day 6 of INSANITY). Ahhhhhhhh. We have had something every weekend since I swear Septemeber, it was so nice to be a homebody with my family today. :)
And speaking of my family...there's a chance it could be expanding? Leaving a question mark there because this is soooooooooooo preliminary, but I just need somewhere to start thinking through this, and what better place than LJ? I'm not pregnant, we are considering adoption.
For a really long time, I was fairly convinced that Noelle would be an only child. I honestly am just not as good at time management as so many of my friends seem to be. (How do you working moms of multiple children do it, really? I'm so in awe.) For four years, the thought of being responsible for another child has been something I never thought I would be able to take on. As is, I feel like I don't spend enough time with Noelle or Andy, I don't maintain any order in terms of keeping a clean, clutter-free, well-decorated house, I don't give enough at work, I can't keep up with all of my hobbies (ie. LJ), I don't get even 6 hours of sleep a night...I just get sick to my stomach thinking about completely losing control by adding a new baby to the mix. And yet, I've never felt my family was complete. I want Noelle to have a sibling - my brother is such an important part of my life, I can't imagine her not having that relationship. So while I've maintained externally and largely internally that I would not have another child, there has always been some doubt in the back of my mind.
Honestly, after my fairly traumatic and terrifying delivery with Noelle, I'm also quite scared to try pregnancy again. Coupled with my desire for a multi-cultural family and concern with world population growth and the suffering of orphaned children in third world countries, adoption has always been something I've considered. However, it really hit me a month or so ago, in the same way that it hit me when I decided I was ready to get pregnant the first time, that I do want another child, and I do want to adopt. The desire just began very quickly and intensely and has continued to burn. I held off saying anything to Andy because when I first mentioned adoption shortly after Noelle was born, he was really hesitant. Money has been tight (child care is so damn expensive!) and our schedules have been crazy and I thought he might really react negatively, and I wasn't ready for the rejection of my idea, so I've been quietly trying to get some more information and figure out how to broach the subject. But Friday, for reasons not understood, in the middle of our INSANITY workout, I blurted out, I've really been thinking a lot about adopting lately." (Nice, Lauren.) And to my utter shock, Andy said, "Me too." I was honestly so surprised that I didn't say anything else while I processed. He had to jet off to poker when we were done and didn't get home until well after I was asleep, but when we woke up this morning, the first thing he did was hand me a print-out of Del Monte's Adoption Assistance program. It made me so happy because I knew he was really serious. :)
We've tentatively begun talking about it more today, and I'm trying really hard to stop from jumping right in and getting ahead of myself. It's not too hard actually because the whole process is so overwhelming, I actually don't know where to start. I feel very strongly about adopting a 2-4 year old from Ethiopia; Andy isn't totally on board, mostly due to the expense and the multiple trips to Ethiopia that would be required. Neither of us love to fly and he's sketchy about third world health care and possible diseases, but I feel so strongly about Ethiopia that those aren't deterrants for me. He thinks we should pursue an African American or mixed race child a domestic agency. Overall, this isn't important right now, because without any drama we've both agreed we are ready to start an adoption journey, and I thought for certain it was going to be a battle to even start the conversation.
So, I'm excited. And I'm nervous. And as mentioned previously, I'm really overwhelmed and confused about how to start.
Well, the other Supers are now snoring, so I guess I should get to bed myself. Not that anyone would do anything like post "Good luck on the adoption!" to Facebook or anything, but since I am definitely NOT even mentioning this to anyone else I know right now... you know...it's a secret. :)
And speaking of my family...there's a chance it could be expanding? Leaving a question mark there because this is soooooooooooo preliminary, but I just need somewhere to start thinking through this, and what better place than LJ? I'm not pregnant, we are considering adoption.
For a really long time, I was fairly convinced that Noelle would be an only child. I honestly am just not as good at time management as so many of my friends seem to be. (How do you working moms of multiple children do it, really? I'm so in awe.) For four years, the thought of being responsible for another child has been something I never thought I would be able to take on. As is, I feel like I don't spend enough time with Noelle or Andy, I don't maintain any order in terms of keeping a clean, clutter-free, well-decorated house, I don't give enough at work, I can't keep up with all of my hobbies (ie. LJ), I don't get even 6 hours of sleep a night...I just get sick to my stomach thinking about completely losing control by adding a new baby to the mix. And yet, I've never felt my family was complete. I want Noelle to have a sibling - my brother is such an important part of my life, I can't imagine her not having that relationship. So while I've maintained externally and largely internally that I would not have another child, there has always been some doubt in the back of my mind.
Honestly, after my fairly traumatic and terrifying delivery with Noelle, I'm also quite scared to try pregnancy again. Coupled with my desire for a multi-cultural family and concern with world population growth and the suffering of orphaned children in third world countries, adoption has always been something I've considered. However, it really hit me a month or so ago, in the same way that it hit me when I decided I was ready to get pregnant the first time, that I do want another child, and I do want to adopt. The desire just began very quickly and intensely and has continued to burn. I held off saying anything to Andy because when I first mentioned adoption shortly after Noelle was born, he was really hesitant. Money has been tight (child care is so damn expensive!) and our schedules have been crazy and I thought he might really react negatively, and I wasn't ready for the rejection of my idea, so I've been quietly trying to get some more information and figure out how to broach the subject. But Friday, for reasons not understood, in the middle of our INSANITY workout, I blurted out, I've really been thinking a lot about adopting lately." (Nice, Lauren.) And to my utter shock, Andy said, "Me too." I was honestly so surprised that I didn't say anything else while I processed. He had to jet off to poker when we were done and didn't get home until well after I was asleep, but when we woke up this morning, the first thing he did was hand me a print-out of Del Monte's Adoption Assistance program. It made me so happy because I knew he was really serious. :)
We've tentatively begun talking about it more today, and I'm trying really hard to stop from jumping right in and getting ahead of myself. It's not too hard actually because the whole process is so overwhelming, I actually don't know where to start. I feel very strongly about adopting a 2-4 year old from Ethiopia; Andy isn't totally on board, mostly due to the expense and the multiple trips to Ethiopia that would be required. Neither of us love to fly and he's sketchy about third world health care and possible diseases, but I feel so strongly about Ethiopia that those aren't deterrants for me. He thinks we should pursue an African American or mixed race child a domestic agency. Overall, this isn't important right now, because without any drama we've both agreed we are ready to start an adoption journey, and I thought for certain it was going to be a battle to even start the conversation.
So, I'm excited. And I'm nervous. And as mentioned previously, I'm really overwhelmed and confused about how to start.
Well, the other Supers are now snoring, so I guess I should get to bed myself. Not that anyone would do anything like post "Good luck on the adoption!" to Facebook or anything, but since I am definitely NOT even mentioning this to anyone else I know right now... you know...it's a secret. :)