Update...
I just felt like writing in here... Nothing else to do Yanno, IM a boring lazy shit what can I say. I realized well I have realized this more than once due to sometimes I kind of forget, I don’t have a purpose or a real reason IM here yanno, Nothing No one, IM a bother to everyone I come in contact with... I think that’s one of the reasons I do want to move up North in the boonies, That way there is no one I can disappoint but myself. IM slowly losing Jenn. I could be over-reacting, But it seems like she wants to be with me when she’s with me, IM sure everyone has felt that way before you know where your not to sure you want to be with that person but when your with him/her your sure of it, But when there not with you your not to sure or you don’t want to be with them, I have a feeling that’s how Jenn feels. And I also have a feeling that she is slowly starting to drift back to Matt, Whatever I always say I cant change someone’s feelings and IM not going to try, That’s like twisting her happiness IM not about to do that, But in a way that’s exactly what Matt is doing... Good for him I guess he’s getting what he wants someone should and why should it be me? Why should this time be different from all the rest? Your right its not going to be, All I care about is that girls happiness and IM sincere about that not like some people that say that and than go and try and try and try to get her to change her feelings, and in doing so hurting her in a different way and confusing her, I wont do that to her, I refuse to get in the way of her feelings. I just hope she knows what she’s doing. And something totally weird, It seems to me she kind of throws the words "I love you" around a little loosely, That’s fine I know a lot of people that do. But last night she said it to me and till last night I haven’t ever said it back to her, It sorta slipped and well I meant it, I do love that girl so much, She has no clue how special she is to me, She’s special enough for me to back off and let her do her own thing, Let her be happy and be able to go out with her friends and Matt, I don’t make her happy, IM almost sure of that. I make yer externally happy sure, But like I told her before I don’t want her physically or any other way but emotionally. IM done for today I guess