how do you measure...measure a year?
521,600 minutes...how do you measure a day in the life? my birthday was about 2 weeks ago. and i realized...i've been down so long, it may have been longer still. So i realized. i'm no longer a teenager, but just shy of being a true adult. its time to figure some shit out, like...what i want to do, who i wanna be, what i wanna look like, who my friends are, amoung a few other things...
i know that i want to finish what i started about 2 years ago, and not just maintain my weightloss of 60lbs...but look good. Arguably, i may or may not have an issue...Obesssion more like it. Or maybe i'm just shallow and Superficial. Call me what ever you want, but you can't say i don't have direction in my life. I'd rather be obsessed in doing something, than not doing anything at all. My biggest fear is being that person thats 300+ lbs walking/being wheelchaired through that buffet line getting those stabbing stares and haunting whispers that i shamefully give. its comming along. even after just 3 weeks of traing with Ryan. my stomach looks toner, granted it doesn't look like Ryans...yet. he looks good, nice size, i wouldn't want to be ginormous...although i can't say anything yet.
As far as my friends. wow. its amazing what a few miles will do. I guess krista was right, i do miss her...THE OLD her. There is nothing about this new person i like. She took the first step, and defriended me on livejournal and myspace, also in MSN...what a bitch. well, i was going to do it eventually, so...But now i know she does not care about rekindling any type of a friendship. her loss, if she wants to go an get trashed, fuck up her head [even more], rave til the break of dawn thats all on her. If she can juggle that and school, more power to her, but when all her family completely disowns her she will have one less that will ever give a shit. its sad, we had sooo many good times. and there were so many more to be had. but she fucked that up. its not like i went out on a limb to push her away, i'm a really easy guy to get along with, don't fuck with me, my family, my friends, my perception of life, and everything will be just peachy fucking keen...
"I'm gonna be me
And thats just gonna have to be...
Good enough for you
There is no more i can do...
I'm gonna be me
and thats gonna have to be
Good enough for you
Or you know what you can do..."
chorus to my latest attempt. Need i say more. I'm not going to kill myself just so someone will accept me. Although EVERYONE needs to be needed. Anyone who says they don't is a fucking liar. No one wants to be disliked. but i'm not going to be anything i'm not so someone different will like me. I'm a cornfed, raised in hopes to be cowboy. never got my saddle, but i got my boots and hat. yes i love most country music, deal with it, its good. You can deny a preference, but you can not deny feel good music. I love my state. I've seen most this country, not too too impressed. everything reminds me of texas. i like it. i think i'll stay. i would like to vist my mother lands...spain, italy but i don't think i might move...but i can't say anything right now. lord only knows what will happen with Austin¤Energy or at least with Karen...we've made a pact that what ever happens with the band, happens. But we will always try to work with each other.
School is great. math sux. but all my music classes are going absolutely great.
And myspace. Fucking Rocks my Jock! i've meet alot of new people not to mention my new buddies Ryan which is also my personal trainer now, his Brother Kyle, Little John, Candee, etc...all these people from school its such a good way to get out and meet local people, its so choice i highly recommend it.
come to my myspace page!
www.myspace.com/foolprooffeelings
i know that i want to finish what i started about 2 years ago, and not just maintain my weightloss of 60lbs...but look good. Arguably, i may or may not have an issue...Obesssion more like it. Or maybe i'm just shallow and Superficial. Call me what ever you want, but you can't say i don't have direction in my life. I'd rather be obsessed in doing something, than not doing anything at all. My biggest fear is being that person thats 300+ lbs walking/being wheelchaired through that buffet line getting those stabbing stares and haunting whispers that i shamefully give. its comming along. even after just 3 weeks of traing with Ryan. my stomach looks toner, granted it doesn't look like Ryans...yet. he looks good, nice size, i wouldn't want to be ginormous...although i can't say anything yet.
As far as my friends. wow. its amazing what a few miles will do. I guess krista was right, i do miss her...THE OLD her. There is nothing about this new person i like. She took the first step, and defriended me on livejournal and myspace, also in MSN...what a bitch. well, i was going to do it eventually, so...But now i know she does not care about rekindling any type of a friendship. her loss, if she wants to go an get trashed, fuck up her head [even more], rave til the break of dawn thats all on her. If she can juggle that and school, more power to her, but when all her family completely disowns her she will have one less that will ever give a shit. its sad, we had sooo many good times. and there were so many more to be had. but she fucked that up. its not like i went out on a limb to push her away, i'm a really easy guy to get along with, don't fuck with me, my family, my friends, my perception of life, and everything will be just peachy fucking keen...
"I'm gonna be me
And thats just gonna have to be...
Good enough for you
There is no more i can do...
I'm gonna be me
and thats gonna have to be
Good enough for you
Or you know what you can do..."
chorus to my latest attempt. Need i say more. I'm not going to kill myself just so someone will accept me. Although EVERYONE needs to be needed. Anyone who says they don't is a fucking liar. No one wants to be disliked. but i'm not going to be anything i'm not so someone different will like me. I'm a cornfed, raised in hopes to be cowboy. never got my saddle, but i got my boots and hat. yes i love most country music, deal with it, its good. You can deny a preference, but you can not deny feel good music. I love my state. I've seen most this country, not too too impressed. everything reminds me of texas. i like it. i think i'll stay. i would like to vist my mother lands...spain, italy but i don't think i might move...but i can't say anything right now. lord only knows what will happen with Austin¤Energy or at least with Karen...we've made a pact that what ever happens with the band, happens. But we will always try to work with each other.
School is great. math sux. but all my music classes are going absolutely great.
And myspace. Fucking Rocks my Jock! i've meet alot of new people not to mention my new buddies Ryan which is also my personal trainer now, his Brother Kyle, Little John, Candee, etc...all these people from school its such a good way to get out and meet local people, its so choice i highly recommend it.
come to my myspace page!
www.myspace.com/foolprooffeelings