Is this thing still on?
I can't even remember the last time I was here. Not even sure if anyone is still reading but I'll post an update.
I think the last time I wrote was when I had Damon served with divorce papers - that was in 2012! So much has happened. Damon never responded ot the dovorce papers. I have him every opportunity to work on the divorce together but he kept putting it off, putting it off. We had a verbal agreement about his visitation and financial support. He had the kids with him 2 nights a week and was paying me, he was inconsistent but I started working in July of 2012 so I made do. Over the course of the next year, he had his mom take care of his support payments for several months, he kept getting evicted from apartments, had no stability whatsoever. Last October/November I noticed his behavour becoming really irradic and he was flying into rages with me and with Andy (he previously loved Andy, sought out advice from him, etc). He stopped paying any kind of support and still hadn't made any effort to help me in finalizing the divorce. He wasn't being emotionally or physically present in a consistent manner with the kids either. He would have them for the weekend and leave them with a sitter or his girlfriend the entire time. Finally, after the kids were with him for Thanksgiving, I told him he couldn't see the kids anymore until he got his shit together and started taking care of his kids emotionally, physically, financially. He needed to stop growing or selling weed, get a real job, get an apartment where he actually paid rent, get a car that wasn't a rental, etc - show me some stability! We argued back and forth for about a week and I could tell he was using drugs again. He would rage and just act crazy. He would call Andy and tell him that me and the kids were Andy's responsibility because we lived together and if he were a real man (andy), he would take care of the entire family and Damon shouldn't have to pay child support. We had no custody or child support court orders in place, but I basically told him to stay away from me and the kids. He had all kinds of unsavory people looking for him, calling me looking for him and I don't need the kids around that. He basically disappeared for 6 months. He didn't call, didn't conatct us. One time he did show up at Davin's school on his birthday and told Davin 'Mommy, won't let you see me because I won't give her money'. I told the kids that tehir dad is very sick (he is a drug addict) and he needed time and space to get himself better.
So 4 months after I told him to stay away, I got the divorce finalized by myself. I never used a lwayer, everything I did was thru the self help center at the courthouse. I had no money for a lawyer so that was my only option. It took a loooong time, but 2 years from the date I filed I was granted a divorce and sole custody of the kids. There are old visitation terms on the judgement papers but I will go back and have those changed. So when Damon finally figured out the divorce was finalled he contacted me and said he wanted the visitation that was ordered in the judgement. He was living in a u-haul truck at the time. I had written those orders 2 years before so there was no way I was letting him have 2 nights a week again especially after not seeing the kids for 6 months! In addition, a month before the police came banging on the door at 11pm on a Monday night saying 'someone' filed a complaint with Child Protective Services saying our children were being abused and Fiona specifically was being sexually abused. The detective was in and out of our house within 5 minutes of talking to us and hearing about Damon (since we were sure it was hime who called in the complaint, which he later fessed up to). So anyway Andy called Damon and they met for coffee and decided together that Damon could see the kids afterschool on Thursdays for 3 hours and during the day on Sundays for 6-8 hours. That was at the end of May. So that visitation started up and it was awful. Fiona would scream and cry because she didn't want to go with him. He had abandoned her pretty much her whole life and COMPLETELY disappeared for 6 months. During that time she became incredibly attached to Andy and HE is now the main man in her life. He takes care of her, he protects her, he keeps her safe. So visitation was rough. Damon and his girlfriend were living in a hotel and I later found out he was able to do so by completely stealing the identities of his father and stepfather, stealing their credit information, opening up credit cards in their names. So this type of visitaion when on (and off) for a few months. It was painful to watch Fiona go, Davin wasn't really happy either but just went thru the motions. I know Davin loves his dad but it kind of seems like he could take him or leave him. He is also very close to Andy. So Labor day rolled around and we found out Damon beat up his girlfriend. He confessed to Andy that he put spyware on her phone and caught her giving hand jobs in a massage parlor. Well duh - that's how you met her! He had told her she needed to get a job and of course that's all she's qualified to do! So he went into the place she was working at, busted into a room where she was 'working' with a client, slapped her around and took all the money she had in her purse. Pimp, no? So he explains all this to Andy and says 'I did what anyone would have done, and I hit her with an open hand so it's okay'. HE IS SICK. Well, I guess he was afraid she was going to press battery charges so he says it's best if he stays away from the kids for awhile because they are broken up and he has no place to live. That lasted all of a week. They got back together but he still hasn't had visitation with the kids. I told him he needed to have a place to live. So he tells me he has a new apartment and since he can't drive the kids around, we can drop them off. Oh, he can't drive the kids because his license is suspended for not only traffic tickets but he's about $15,000 behind in child support payments. I filed a case against him with Child Support Services and the judge awarded me $2300 a month in support starting 6 months ago - he hasn't paid a dime. Anyway, the kids visited that apartment one time. The day after their visit with him, one of the many thug type criminal looking for Damon showed up at my door asking if I knew where to find him. I gave the guy Damon's new address and I heard the guy went over there and beat thre crap out of Damon. So no visitaions again. If he wants to see the kids, he is giong to have to take me to court, which I am seriously doubtful he'll do because he's scared of not only all the criminals and thugs looking for him, but the police probably are as well. Also there is the fact that he changes identities more often then I wash my hair. One of the guys looking for him told us how Damon goes to some park downtown and gets new ID's all the time. Oh, come to find out that Damon is also a heavy meth user. So, Damon will now sometimes pop his head up at one of Davin's soccer pratices from time to time - not sure how he finds out about them, but all visitations are off. He's well aware that Andy and I will tell anyone looking for him of his whereabouts so it's best of he just stays away. He hasn't even tried to see Fiona since before Labor Day.
So Andy and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. Thank goodness for him. He is such a good partner. He doesn't make great money and we struggle financially but he such a good dad and a good man. I handle the kids in the morning and he picks them up from school, does dinner and bedtime stuff. I usually don't get home til 7:30-8pm. He always makes sure I take time out for myself and is very patient with me with all my hangups and worries.
I've been working on this movie for 17 months and we are done next week! I have been grateful for the work but since I am just starting out in the industry, my pay is not fabulous and since Damon stopped paying support - the struggle is real. Andy's ex doesn't pay any support either so half of my salary goes towards afterschool care for 3 kids. It's just not financially feasable for me to start another job right away. I can collect unemployment for a few months and then we can reevaulate. In this field, and with projects this bif we typiaclly have a couple of months off between movies (I had 3 months off between this movie and the last movie), and I know my boss wants to take a couple of months off as well, so I know I have some time to decide what to do. I need to make at least 50% more than I am making now to make it worth it. It always depends on the budget of the film as well. Otherwise, I'll just have to get a part-time job or something during school hours.
As for the kids, all things considered - they are doing well. I know Fiona has some abandonment issues but I am pretty sure most of her issues stem from my anxities. I am sure she picks up on it and I have to work on that. She started TK at one of the public schools in our district but not Davin's school (only a few school have the TK). We can walk to the Davin's school, but have to drive about 5 minutes to Fiona's. She is somewhat of a girly girl in the fact that she will only wear dresses but doesn't want to do dance classes, play with dolls or anything girly like that. She is so used to being around Davin & Mason that she wants to do all boy things. She would never be a princess or anything like that for Halloween, she wants to be a Castle Crasher knight like the boys. She is also such a humourus child. She just says the funniest things! Davin is doing well. He's had some 'red cards' at school but nothing serious - playing tag (i know, right?), running in the halls, talking out of turn, typical 7.5 year old boy stuff. He is playing club soccer and loves it. He is on the Boys U10 team and he's the smallest and youngest on his team - but they wanted him! He's a striker and he's got some talent. He doesn't get a ton of playing time because the other striker is older and more experienced but Davin is learning a lot and really likes it. This is the first time he's played organized soccer. He did a week long AYSO camp when he was 4 but never played AYSO. He played baseball for the first time last Spring and he was good at that too so he is just an athlete.
So that's really about it. I am sure I left stuff out but that's a good start! I hope everyone is doing well!
I think the last time I wrote was when I had Damon served with divorce papers - that was in 2012! So much has happened. Damon never responded ot the dovorce papers. I have him every opportunity to work on the divorce together but he kept putting it off, putting it off. We had a verbal agreement about his visitation and financial support. He had the kids with him 2 nights a week and was paying me, he was inconsistent but I started working in July of 2012 so I made do. Over the course of the next year, he had his mom take care of his support payments for several months, he kept getting evicted from apartments, had no stability whatsoever. Last October/November I noticed his behavour becoming really irradic and he was flying into rages with me and with Andy (he previously loved Andy, sought out advice from him, etc). He stopped paying any kind of support and still hadn't made any effort to help me in finalizing the divorce. He wasn't being emotionally or physically present in a consistent manner with the kids either. He would have them for the weekend and leave them with a sitter or his girlfriend the entire time. Finally, after the kids were with him for Thanksgiving, I told him he couldn't see the kids anymore until he got his shit together and started taking care of his kids emotionally, physically, financially. He needed to stop growing or selling weed, get a real job, get an apartment where he actually paid rent, get a car that wasn't a rental, etc - show me some stability! We argued back and forth for about a week and I could tell he was using drugs again. He would rage and just act crazy. He would call Andy and tell him that me and the kids were Andy's responsibility because we lived together and if he were a real man (andy), he would take care of the entire family and Damon shouldn't have to pay child support. We had no custody or child support court orders in place, but I basically told him to stay away from me and the kids. He had all kinds of unsavory people looking for him, calling me looking for him and I don't need the kids around that. He basically disappeared for 6 months. He didn't call, didn't conatct us. One time he did show up at Davin's school on his birthday and told Davin 'Mommy, won't let you see me because I won't give her money'. I told the kids that tehir dad is very sick (he is a drug addict) and he needed time and space to get himself better.
So 4 months after I told him to stay away, I got the divorce finalized by myself. I never used a lwayer, everything I did was thru the self help center at the courthouse. I had no money for a lawyer so that was my only option. It took a loooong time, but 2 years from the date I filed I was granted a divorce and sole custody of the kids. There are old visitation terms on the judgement papers but I will go back and have those changed. So when Damon finally figured out the divorce was finalled he contacted me and said he wanted the visitation that was ordered in the judgement. He was living in a u-haul truck at the time. I had written those orders 2 years before so there was no way I was letting him have 2 nights a week again especially after not seeing the kids for 6 months! In addition, a month before the police came banging on the door at 11pm on a Monday night saying 'someone' filed a complaint with Child Protective Services saying our children were being abused and Fiona specifically was being sexually abused. The detective was in and out of our house within 5 minutes of talking to us and hearing about Damon (since we were sure it was hime who called in the complaint, which he later fessed up to). So anyway Andy called Damon and they met for coffee and decided together that Damon could see the kids afterschool on Thursdays for 3 hours and during the day on Sundays for 6-8 hours. That was at the end of May. So that visitation started up and it was awful. Fiona would scream and cry because she didn't want to go with him. He had abandoned her pretty much her whole life and COMPLETELY disappeared for 6 months. During that time she became incredibly attached to Andy and HE is now the main man in her life. He takes care of her, he protects her, he keeps her safe. So visitation was rough. Damon and his girlfriend were living in a hotel and I later found out he was able to do so by completely stealing the identities of his father and stepfather, stealing their credit information, opening up credit cards in their names. So this type of visitaion when on (and off) for a few months. It was painful to watch Fiona go, Davin wasn't really happy either but just went thru the motions. I know Davin loves his dad but it kind of seems like he could take him or leave him. He is also very close to Andy. So Labor day rolled around and we found out Damon beat up his girlfriend. He confessed to Andy that he put spyware on her phone and caught her giving hand jobs in a massage parlor. Well duh - that's how you met her! He had told her she needed to get a job and of course that's all she's qualified to do! So he went into the place she was working at, busted into a room where she was 'working' with a client, slapped her around and took all the money she had in her purse. Pimp, no? So he explains all this to Andy and says 'I did what anyone would have done, and I hit her with an open hand so it's okay'. HE IS SICK. Well, I guess he was afraid she was going to press battery charges so he says it's best if he stays away from the kids for awhile because they are broken up and he has no place to live. That lasted all of a week. They got back together but he still hasn't had visitation with the kids. I told him he needed to have a place to live. So he tells me he has a new apartment and since he can't drive the kids around, we can drop them off. Oh, he can't drive the kids because his license is suspended for not only traffic tickets but he's about $15,000 behind in child support payments. I filed a case against him with Child Support Services and the judge awarded me $2300 a month in support starting 6 months ago - he hasn't paid a dime. Anyway, the kids visited that apartment one time. The day after their visit with him, one of the many thug type criminal looking for Damon showed up at my door asking if I knew where to find him. I gave the guy Damon's new address and I heard the guy went over there and beat thre crap out of Damon. So no visitaions again. If he wants to see the kids, he is giong to have to take me to court, which I am seriously doubtful he'll do because he's scared of not only all the criminals and thugs looking for him, but the police probably are as well. Also there is the fact that he changes identities more often then I wash my hair. One of the guys looking for him told us how Damon goes to some park downtown and gets new ID's all the time. Oh, come to find out that Damon is also a heavy meth user. So, Damon will now sometimes pop his head up at one of Davin's soccer pratices from time to time - not sure how he finds out about them, but all visitations are off. He's well aware that Andy and I will tell anyone looking for him of his whereabouts so it's best of he just stays away. He hasn't even tried to see Fiona since before Labor Day.
So Andy and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. Thank goodness for him. He is such a good partner. He doesn't make great money and we struggle financially but he such a good dad and a good man. I handle the kids in the morning and he picks them up from school, does dinner and bedtime stuff. I usually don't get home til 7:30-8pm. He always makes sure I take time out for myself and is very patient with me with all my hangups and worries.
I've been working on this movie for 17 months and we are done next week! I have been grateful for the work but since I am just starting out in the industry, my pay is not fabulous and since Damon stopped paying support - the struggle is real. Andy's ex doesn't pay any support either so half of my salary goes towards afterschool care for 3 kids. It's just not financially feasable for me to start another job right away. I can collect unemployment for a few months and then we can reevaulate. In this field, and with projects this bif we typiaclly have a couple of months off between movies (I had 3 months off between this movie and the last movie), and I know my boss wants to take a couple of months off as well, so I know I have some time to decide what to do. I need to make at least 50% more than I am making now to make it worth it. It always depends on the budget of the film as well. Otherwise, I'll just have to get a part-time job or something during school hours.
As for the kids, all things considered - they are doing well. I know Fiona has some abandonment issues but I am pretty sure most of her issues stem from my anxities. I am sure she picks up on it and I have to work on that. She started TK at one of the public schools in our district but not Davin's school (only a few school have the TK). We can walk to the Davin's school, but have to drive about 5 minutes to Fiona's. She is somewhat of a girly girl in the fact that she will only wear dresses but doesn't want to do dance classes, play with dolls or anything girly like that. She is so used to being around Davin & Mason that she wants to do all boy things. She would never be a princess or anything like that for Halloween, she wants to be a Castle Crasher knight like the boys. She is also such a humourus child. She just says the funniest things! Davin is doing well. He's had some 'red cards' at school but nothing serious - playing tag (i know, right?), running in the halls, talking out of turn, typical 7.5 year old boy stuff. He is playing club soccer and loves it. He is on the Boys U10 team and he's the smallest and youngest on his team - but they wanted him! He's a striker and he's got some talent. He doesn't get a ton of playing time because the other striker is older and more experienced but Davin is learning a lot and really likes it. This is the first time he's played organized soccer. He did a week long AYSO camp when he was 4 but never played AYSO. He played baseball for the first time last Spring and he was good at that too so he is just an athlete.
So that's really about it. I am sure I left stuff out but that's a good start! I hope everyone is doing well!