(no subject)

[superchubs123]

long time no post...alot of things are happening as we speak...i am growing...relizing things that shouldn;t be relized.thinking of things that shouldn't be thought about...sometime i wish i wouldn't make so many mistakes...every move i make is jsut one big mistake...working on james play taught me alot...made me really think...i'm acctually going back to the text and re reading it to see what else i can learn...thanks james...just like in the play i said "if only we knew the causes of our mistakes perhaps we wouldn't make so many of them"...,yes perhaps. but then there a line in the new batman movie..."why do we fall down...so we can learn to pick ourselves back up"..mistakes are just a learning expierence...but what happen when you don't learn... i'll tell you...you make another one. then another and next thing you know everyone you know and love are effacted... if there was some way we could all be disconected and still be able to function. now is one of those times i want to crawl away and never be seen...but as in the play "when someone dies before there time the first thing people do is wanna point finger...you can't allways do that." sometimes i feel like i'm the one with complete memory relapses...there is a fine line between doing what you know is right and doing what you think is right...but when you favor one more the other your in troble...thats me...its time i stop thinking...its time i stop living...its time to be another mindless drone of society so i can just disapear into the normality of everyday 9 to 5 like patterns...then again i'm jsut going to be like the rest of everyone and say one thing and do another...sry is this sounds unfair but it true... i don;t care anymore. it might just be the tiredness talking...who knows maybe i'm depressed again now the doctors can force me on medication and tell me its for my sinuses and convince me i'm fine...noone says the entire truth if you find someone who does. there acting...
ttyl everyone
hopefully