This is what I was made for
These last two weeks have flown by. This is definitely what I was meant to do. There so much possibility is these kids' eyes, so much enthusiasm, undimmed by the cynicism of adulthood, unfettered by the obligations of time, responsibilities, burdens. They seem so young to me, but really most of them are only two years younger then me. They have buckled down and bore my terrible Federalist #10 lesson, which bored even me (and I love the Federalist papers) They have shouted their opinions, injected humor, and reminded me why I love this age group. They're old enough that you don't have to teach them manners, you don't have to monitor them every second of the day, but they're young enough to be humorous even in the dullest situation. They find great joy in teasing me, in pushing me, not in a terribly rebellious way, but just to see who can get the tiny student teacher to agree to let them sit on the windowsill. Their reasoning isn't always the best, but it makes sense to them. A lot of them are really smart too- smarter then me I'm pretty sure. I'm taking over the Macroeconomics class on Monday, and I'm pretty much screwed, because I'm really bad at economics. Basically, I love student teaching- most of the teachers are like "Just wait, you'll be so exhausted by the end of the week, you won't be able to think." but it kind of works opposite for me. I'm tired until I actually start teaching, and then they energize me, they get my mind thinking, they challenge me. Am I the greatest at what I'm doing? Absolutely not. I can tell this, because the kids are brutally honest at this age- their faces hide nothing. But it's not even the information I care about anymore. It's these kids, these precious little people (well, most of them are massively bigger then me), their personalities, their promising lives, their infinite futures. It's hard to put into words.
I went to the India Arie concert at UB with Sarah T, Becky, and Elana yesterday. Amazing. By far, one of the best concerts I've ever been to. India is an amazing woman, and she has an amazing voice- she plays piano, guitar, jazz flute, and who knows what else. But she was so real up on stage- she just talked with us, explained why she wrote this song or that song, said she was nervous to do one song because she had just written it that day. It was just really cool. She really just abandoned self-consciousness and was dancing, smiling, laughing whenever she felt like it. It sounds silly now that I write it down, but honestly it was refreshing. She was expressing herself, opening herself up and basically saying, "Here's who I am. if you don't like it, that's cool, it won't change my style, my essence." It was a fun crowd too, because everyone was like "Sing girl! Yeah!" Made me wish I was a minority-either that or that the white culture would loosen up and learn how to dance. India's backup singer- GORGEOUS. Oh my gosh, that man knew how to dance. Mmhmm. It's hard to explain their demeanor, but I guess they were just honestly having fun, really living the music, and enjoying each other and the crowd. And it was awesome. She's an inspiring lady. Made me think a little bit about myself, about the somewhat natural uptightness that holds me back sometimes...it was a really good concert. Also made me decide I was supposed to be born in a more colorful culture, one that at least is all about dancing, shouting, singing...expression.
None of this will probably make sense to anyone else, but it does in a weird way in my head.