I'm Pathetic
So...... im probably the most pathetic human being alive. i feel like all this shit going on is all my fault. all my family being split in half..... not knowing where im gonna be living in a month. being broke. being depressed....... i feel its all my fault.
I have reached a new low in my life. i broke the persons heart that cared for me the most. i treated her like shit, and i knew it...... and now theres no second chance.
I contemplated suicide last night. I'm starting to get scared, because i get the same feelings that i did a few years back when i wanted to die. i started driving out to the cliffs at the lake last night. i was going to drive my truck off of one of them. then it hit me....... i'm giving up on life. im becoming someone that makes me wanna puke when i look in the mirror. other than the time my mom caught me, this is the closest ive been to killing myself.
Well, i started doing drugs again. whats sad is that i dont want to do them, but i almost feel like i have to again. i feel like i need a way out, and no ones helping me at all. no one will ever help..... i need to start over.... i dont wanna be back on drugs, or hurting people, or wanting to die. i feel subhuman right now....
I have reached a new low in my life. i broke the persons heart that cared for me the most. i treated her like shit, and i knew it...... and now theres no second chance.
I contemplated suicide last night. I'm starting to get scared, because i get the same feelings that i did a few years back when i wanted to die. i started driving out to the cliffs at the lake last night. i was going to drive my truck off of one of them. then it hit me....... i'm giving up on life. im becoming someone that makes me wanna puke when i look in the mirror. other than the time my mom caught me, this is the closest ive been to killing myself.
Well, i started doing drugs again. whats sad is that i dont want to do them, but i almost feel like i have to again. i feel like i need a way out, and no ones helping me at all. no one will ever help..... i need to start over.... i dont wanna be back on drugs, or hurting people, or wanting to die. i feel subhuman right now....