(no subject)
i keep coming here to write things down. to process. to take a breath.
but each time, i get a few lines in and get stuck or distracted or simply lose the motivation.
i don't know. i have things to say. i guess they just haven't simmered long enough yet. they haven't turned into words and series of words that i can taste. that i can feel rolling around in the space between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. but they're there. horsing around in my head. jumping out from behind corners, fighting for room, mixing and mashing, toying and teasing and just escaping my grip.
or maybe i'm the one doing the evading.
i am fairly content.
work is a different kind of busy and a different kind of satisfying than school.
but also a different kind of exhausting.
to do my job(s) well, i feel like i have to shut most things off and out.
and sometimes it's hard to switch them back on.
i worry that i'm forgetting how to listen to my little voice.
it's going to have to speak up much louder to be heard over the chaos.
i miss my quiet apartment and my neurotic cat.
i'm forming a routine but i have not settled
there is an ever-present stirring that i'm not sure i want to settle.
but each time, i get a few lines in and get stuck or distracted or simply lose the motivation.
i don't know. i have things to say. i guess they just haven't simmered long enough yet. they haven't turned into words and series of words that i can taste. that i can feel rolling around in the space between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. but they're there. horsing around in my head. jumping out from behind corners, fighting for room, mixing and mashing, toying and teasing and just escaping my grip.
or maybe i'm the one doing the evading.
i am fairly content.
work is a different kind of busy and a different kind of satisfying than school.
but also a different kind of exhausting.
to do my job(s) well, i feel like i have to shut most things off and out.
and sometimes it's hard to switch them back on.
i worry that i'm forgetting how to listen to my little voice.
it's going to have to speak up much louder to be heard over the chaos.
i miss my quiet apartment and my neurotic cat.
i'm forming a routine but i have not settled
there is an ever-present stirring that i'm not sure i want to settle.