disconnect yourself
i know you wouldn't know this about me, because what do you really, but i absolutely can't stand it when people pretend that i mean something more to them than i really do. its not my problem that people expect you to care about me, but i shouldn't have to listen to you totally lie to make them think that they're right.
i've dealt with the fact that you want nothing to do with me, that you hate the way i make you feel or whatever...and that you do nothing but run from me. i got over it, which was hard...i don't know if you can imagine that...but i dealt with it.
so to hear you talk about my touching your heart or how much my not being around is going to affect you makes me so angry. just dont lie. just don't say anything.
because then i say something like this to you...and shouldn't i? i'm angry... and then you just complain to all the same people about how much you hate me. JUST PICK ONE. and you pretty much already did, and its crystal clear...so just live that way.
you can't miss me if you do nothing but complain when i'm around.
so it makes me look like the bitch that i'm the one who's not pretending, and when they ask about you i don't smile and say that i love you with all of my heart. but i don't talk crap about you either; i don't turn people against you. i don't know if you think thats what you have to do about me but its absolutely not. whatever though, i'm dealing with it. i won't fawn over you and i won't start drama either. i'll just sit here and let you tell the world how much you hate me, and how much you love me, and how much you hate me.
and i won't scream at you that i don't deserve it.
but if you pretend to be my friend on a good day i might pretend back, but you know that i don't mean it. you need to know.
i dont mean to sound like the hugest bitch in the world or anything, but i could tell you i love you and you'd call me that anyway, so i guess i just give up.
maybe i'm just being ridiculous. maybe i just want you to know how much it bothers me, but if you stopped pretending it might be worse. i guess my life just needs fake sometimes...more often than i'd like, but maybe i'd rather have a ton of fake relationships than no real ones.
i was gonna go to bed early, too. you make me tired!
i've dealt with the fact that you want nothing to do with me, that you hate the way i make you feel or whatever...and that you do nothing but run from me. i got over it, which was hard...i don't know if you can imagine that...but i dealt with it.
so to hear you talk about my touching your heart or how much my not being around is going to affect you makes me so angry. just dont lie. just don't say anything.
because then i say something like this to you...and shouldn't i? i'm angry... and then you just complain to all the same people about how much you hate me. JUST PICK ONE. and you pretty much already did, and its crystal clear...so just live that way.
you can't miss me if you do nothing but complain when i'm around.
so it makes me look like the bitch that i'm the one who's not pretending, and when they ask about you i don't smile and say that i love you with all of my heart. but i don't talk crap about you either; i don't turn people against you. i don't know if you think thats what you have to do about me but its absolutely not. whatever though, i'm dealing with it. i won't fawn over you and i won't start drama either. i'll just sit here and let you tell the world how much you hate me, and how much you love me, and how much you hate me.
and i won't scream at you that i don't deserve it.
but if you pretend to be my friend on a good day i might pretend back, but you know that i don't mean it. you need to know.
i dont mean to sound like the hugest bitch in the world or anything, but i could tell you i love you and you'd call me that anyway, so i guess i just give up.
maybe i'm just being ridiculous. maybe i just want you to know how much it bothers me, but if you stopped pretending it might be worse. i guess my life just needs fake sometimes...more often than i'd like, but maybe i'd rather have a ton of fake relationships than no real ones.
i was gonna go to bed early, too. you make me tired!