(no subject)

[superbizo]

Insanely mad. Thats how I started out my day at work. Infact my day actually started with a fight. Tell me who needs to cook fuckin eggs at 4am, please enlighten me. My asshole roommate just absolutely needed to make noise that early in the morning. Dont parents teach their kids about respecting other people? Jesus fucking christ. So I get home from work and im cooking dinner and I hear him loud as hell on the phone with his friend just bashing me, so I got my hammer and banged on his door (every time you catch him off guard, he looks like a deer in headlights) and I just squashed it. I told him it was early and Im gonna patch up the wall, but its still paper thin until I do that, so understand where Im coming from cuz I understand hes gotta do his thing. This wasnt for real. I'll be laid off soon and plan on making his life hell. So Im at work today and the asshole I work with shows up and starts pushing my buttons. 7am you're gonna start with your shit? A couple weeks ago he told me to shut my mouth because it was only good for one thing (sucking his dick was heavily implied), and I thought I had made it clear that we dont have those exchanges, he can fuck with his friends, but he cant talk to me like that. Guess he didnt get the point. Now you should know Im talking about a 50 something year old spic whos spent his life in and out of jail. So today when he started with me like he does everyday I just lost it. I fuckin snapped. I started yelling and screaming and he was getting such a kick out of it, then I told him I should have brought him up on charges. He went nuts. Why didnt I think of that sooner?? He got so mad, I was like "how do you like that? You like that right? It feels good to get angry in the morning, right? Dont like it so much now, do ya?" Then he called me a bitch and told me to shut my mouth, then I told him he was a nigger and to go the fuck back on welfare. He really didnt dig that charges comment. I really should have brought him up on charges, let him lose his book and go back to jail where he belongs. I just feel bad cuz there were black people on the deck and I dont want them to think Im a racist cuz I called that guy a nigger, he was just acting like trash and that word just doesnt seem to make people upset like nigger. I guess they didnt though because they were all smiles and goodbyes when they left.

Im tired of fighting and being so mad all the time. I really think I need someone to help me direct my emotions a little better, it doesnt seem to really be working out on my own.