(no subject)
Really though, wtf?
I feel like I have no one anymore. I used to be so loved, now Im so fucking lonely. I hate how I have no one to talk to or relate to anymore. The most interaction I have is with people from work. No one calls me to hang out, no one ever wants to chill. I lost so many people in my life, I feel like I have to move again to start over - maybe that would make me happy. You know, that bullshit stef pulled really fucked me up. How dare I let someone take control of my life like that? How the hell do I get control back? I have everything except for the fufillment of friends. Part of me doesnt even want friends, my friends do nothing but stab me in the back anyways. Im just so fucking mad. So fucking mad. What is the value of a life, that doesnt have much --
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I dont know when thats from, but I totally still feel that way, and really though - its gotta be like months since Ive come here.... just goes to show how much progress ive made.
Might as well not break tradition. So I guess you could say its hit me all right now. This whole holiday season Ive been pretty calm about things, but as I spend my Christmas Eve drinking alone, I feel myself slipping into a nice depression. I have no friends, I have no aquiantances, I have nothing. All I do is work and sleep and now Ive just sheltered the shit outta myself. I dont even wanna go home tomorrow, I just wanna stay in bed for the whole day and get right back to my sheltered life on friday. The last time I went out was Thanksgiving Eve and frankly it kinda sucked. Everything has been a let down since I lost all my friends and making new friends isnt easy, infact, its impossible. Ive thought about suicide a lot. What good is a life without love and friendship? I have neither and I dont think my life is so good. Soon work will end and I will have no one to talk to. I bet I could go for days on end without talking to a single person.
Whats so wrong with me? Dont I deserve to be happy too?
I feel like I have no one anymore. I used to be so loved, now Im so fucking lonely. I hate how I have no one to talk to or relate to anymore. The most interaction I have is with people from work. No one calls me to hang out, no one ever wants to chill. I lost so many people in my life, I feel like I have to move again to start over - maybe that would make me happy. You know, that bullshit stef pulled really fucked me up. How dare I let someone take control of my life like that? How the hell do I get control back? I have everything except for the fufillment of friends. Part of me doesnt even want friends, my friends do nothing but stab me in the back anyways. Im just so fucking mad. So fucking mad. What is the value of a life, that doesnt have much --
---------------
I dont know when thats from, but I totally still feel that way, and really though - its gotta be like months since Ive come here.... just goes to show how much progress ive made.
Might as well not break tradition. So I guess you could say its hit me all right now. This whole holiday season Ive been pretty calm about things, but as I spend my Christmas Eve drinking alone, I feel myself slipping into a nice depression. I have no friends, I have no aquiantances, I have nothing. All I do is work and sleep and now Ive just sheltered the shit outta myself. I dont even wanna go home tomorrow, I just wanna stay in bed for the whole day and get right back to my sheltered life on friday. The last time I went out was Thanksgiving Eve and frankly it kinda sucked. Everything has been a let down since I lost all my friends and making new friends isnt easy, infact, its impossible. Ive thought about suicide a lot. What good is a life without love and friendship? I have neither and I dont think my life is so good. Soon work will end and I will have no one to talk to. I bet I could go for days on end without talking to a single person.
Whats so wrong with me? Dont I deserve to be happy too?