The Killing Grounds (NC-17) Dean/OFC Chp. 10
Title: The Killing Grounds
Author: Angelsdee
Chapter: 10/?
Characters: Dean/OFC with a bit of Sam/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: See previous chapters for summary and disclaimer
Chapter 10
“I had no idea that this world Dad brought us into was this big, Sam,” Dean said as he stared into his brother’s eyes. “All we’ve been doing is going out there and killing anything evil that we come across but we never knew there was a bigger picture. She does and so do Angel and Spike and those girls she mentioned. I mean, come on, an apocalypse, why didn’t we know about these? She’s been involved in a couple of end of the world type of scrapes and Dad, Bobby, their friends, nor us ever had a clue.”
“She lives in a slightly different world than us, Dean. Apparently a bigger, darker world than we thought was possible,” Sam sighed as he thought about all the things Mikaela must have seen and been through in her life. “She is unique though and she has enhanced strength and fighting skills along with her telepathic and empathic abilities to help keep her safe. That is what is worrying you, isn’t it? That you could lose her too after we lost everyone else who mattered to us,” he asked his unusually quiet and withdrawn sibling.
“Yeah, I’m worried about her,” he whispered as his brow furrowed. “You know I’m not good with the mushy shit, Sam. I love her, I really do, but I’m in uncharted territory here.” A combination of fear that he would hurt her, shame that she would look at him different now that she knew the truth about his Dad’s death, and panic that he wasn’t enough for her shot through him when he sensed her approach. It tore at his heart to even consider what he was about to do but he was afraid of the depth of his feelings for her. “I suck with emotions and now I’m tied to a woman that thrives on them. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with this shit.”
“Dean,” Sam looked at his brother with confusion on his face, “what the hell are you talking about? She’ll help you learn how to handle this gift. There’s no reason to be worried about it.”
“I’m not worried, Sammy, I don’t feel like myself anymore. She’s turned me into some kind of freak,” he said in a louder tone when he knew she was in earshot. “I mean she asked if I was sure about this mating thing and left it up to me to decide if I wanted to go through with it but I just wanted to fuck her so bad I couldn’t think straight.”
“Dean!” Sam shot off of the bed and turned a furious gaze on his brother who was looking at his hands. “How the fuck can you say something like that? I know you love her and the things you’re saying…”
“Are what, Sam?” Dean cut off Sam’s rant and looked up at him with a steely gaze. “Is it cruel? I know it is harsh to hear but when have I ever been faithful or committed to one woman? She is fucking hot, Sam,” he said as he stared at his brother’s disbelieving face, “that is the first thing that went through my mind when I saw her. I wanted to hit it and couldn’t think of anything else. Now I’m mated to her and I don’t have a fucking clue what to do about that.”
“Dean, I can’t believe you’re saying this shit,” Sam shook his head sadly and backed away from the bed. “She is delicate and you know if she hears you say these things,” Sam’s words died in his throat when he saw his brother focus beyond him. He turned and saw the tear-stained face of the woman who had found a special place in his heart. “Mick,” he said as he started towards her but stopped when she held up her hand to ward him off.
She stood shaking as her gaze penetrated Dean’s guilt-filled eyes until he finally couldn’t take it anymore and averted his attention to the floor. A small sob escaped her tight lips before she turned and ran from her bedroom.
“Mick,” Sam yelled as he moved to follow her. He stopped suddenly and turned tear-filled eyes to his brother. “I never thought in a million years that you could make me hate you but after what you just did here I can’t bear to look at you,” he said sadly as he ran out the door.
“You aren’t the only one, Sammy,” Dean whispered as his tears ran down his face, “I hate myself right now too.”
~*~
When Sam reached the living room, he was met with a wild-eyed Spike and a worried Angel. The younger vampire’s eyes kept changing from blue to his demon’s yellow. “What happened to her?” he growled at the younger Winchester.
“She’s upset,” he stammered as he faced the anger of her blood mate. “My brother said some things that she overheard.”
“What things?” Angel asked as he eyed Spike scenting the air.
“Things he wouldn’t normally say unless he was scared,” Sam said as he glanced at Spike out of the corner of his eye.
“You come with me,” Spike said as he swatted Sam in the chest before he turned to Angel, “and you go talk some sense into that stupid git that hurt our girl.”
~*~
Spike and Sam ran out the front door and skidded to a halt as the blond vampire breathed the night air in deep. “She headed into the woods,” he said as he bolted up the drive and led Sam between the cabins.
“Are you sure she came out here?” Sam asked as he ran beside him. “I thought she’d go to the gym or down to the ocean.”
“She’s running from pain, boy,” Spike said as he wound between the thick trees, “she isn’t exactly thinking straight right now. What did your brother say to her anyways?”
“He said that he wasn’t ready to take on the burden of being my mate,” Mikaela said as she stepped out from behind some brush and stopped them in their tracks. Her tears looked like drops of silver liquid in the moonlight as they cascaded down her cheeks. “He said he just wanted to fuck me and wasn’t thinking beyond that when I asked him if he was sure he wanted to claim me.”
“Mick,” Sam edged forward with his hands raised when he saw her tense, “he didn’t mean it. I know he didn’t.” He moved a little closer to her and stopped when she backed away, “he’s just scared, Mick, but I know he loves you. Can’t you feel all of that from him?”
“I will not infiltrate his mind without his permission and I am blocking his emotions with every ounce of power I possess,” she hissed out as she crossed her arms over her midsection. “I don’t want to feel that he feels or think what he thinks. He doesn’t wish to be mated with me and I will not allow him to pull me in deeper.” Her sobs wracked her body and she collapsed to her knees in the grass clutching her stomach and rocked back and forth. “Sam…”
“It’s okay, Mikaela,” Sam said as he dropped to the ground and took her in his arms. “I know he’s a stubborn shit and that he hurt you but he’ll get over his insecurities,” he said as she burrowed into his chest and he rocked her gently. “He loves you and he’ll make this up to you or I’ll kick his ass.”
~*~
Angel stalked quietly into Mikaela’s bedroom and fought his anger down when he smelled her tears and scent in the air. He managed to restrain a growl from erupting as he came within sight of a very despondent Dean sitting in the bed. The young man had misery dripping off of him with his tears and Angel knew immediately what he had done.
“You set that whole thing up for her to hear you, didn’t you?” He wasn’t expecting an answer so he continued to pace around the room and casually look over all her things. “Do you know she’s out there in the woods trying to run from the pain you caused her on a day that was supposed to be a pivotal point in her life? You drove her from her home,” Angel said as he stopped at the foot of the bed, “all because you’re afraid of what you feel for her.”
“What the hell do you know?”
“I know what its like to be possessed by her,” the brooding vampire said as he drilled his dark gaze into Dean’s. “I know what its like to be afraid of the way she makes you feel because you can’t help but fall deep for her. Am I getting close?”
“It’s more than that. She’s better off without me and it would be best to split sooner than later,” Dean said as he hung his head and caught his tears in his open palms in his lap. “When I claimed her, she saw things about my life, moments I’ve been trying to forget and I’m afraid she won’t think I’m worthy of her anymore.”
“That isn’t a possibility,” Angel shook his head as he took in the desperate look in the young man’s eyes. “She claimed you as her mate. There is no higher honor that she could bestow upon you. If you were not worthy, she never would’ve taken you or even brought you into her home.”
“But I’m responsible,” he said sadly as he shook his head.
“I don’t need to know, Dean,” Angel held up his hand to stop him. “Do you have any idea of the death she has delivered?” The older Winchester nodded his head as he glanced up at the solemn vampire. “She has a lot of blood on her hands, Dean, and no guilt for anything other than not being able to save her family. I never thought I’d see Mikaela in love again until I saw her with you and your brother. Don’t take that away from her,” he said pleadingly.
“I said some horrible shit, Angel,” Dean said with glistening eyes. “How will I make it up to her and apologize for saying I just went along with the bond so that I could get in her pants?”
“I can’t help you with that one but I know begging is a good place to start,” he said as he rose up from the bed and walked towards the door. “Dean,” he paused and glanced over his shoulder, “if you ever say anything like that to her again and hurt her,” his face morphed to his demon’s visage, “I’ll kill you myself.”
“You won’t have to,” Dean said as he furrowed his brow when Angel’s face returned to normal, “and what the hell is that?”
“A part of me you never want to meet when it’s angry,” he said as he nodded his head. “Hopefully Spike and Sam will get her back here soon and you can commence with the groveling.”
~*~
Spike had watched Sam rock Mikaela in his arms for well over an hour and the vampire who loved her felt his heart break with each of her sobs. “Pet,” he said as he reached out a hand and laid it on her shoulder, “how bout we get you back inside before you catch your death out here?”
She nodded her head against Sam’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck as he swept up her legs when he rose to his feet. “You got her alright, boy?” Spike asked as Sam carried her through the trees.
“I’ve got her,” Sam said as he felt Mikaela shudder against his chest. He followed Spike’s footsteps through the moonlit woods until they finally cleared the tree line to see the lights of the house.
Mikaela didn’t move an inch as they made the journey back to her home and her unwilling mate.
When they arrived at the front door, Sam shifted her in his arms so he could place his hand on the scanner to unlatch the locks. Spike swung it open for Sam to carry his precious cargo inside and pushed it closed behind them. When Sam started towards the hallway to her bedroom, Mikaela shook her head repeatedly. “No,” she whispered, “I don’t want to go in there.”
“Do you wanna stay out here then, pet?” Spike asked her with a concerned look on his face.
She opened her eyes just in time to see Angel lead a guilt-ridden Dean into the living room. His chest was bare, as well as his feet, and he was wearing his sweats. His glistening eyes met hers as she stared at him over Sam’s shoulder until their shared pain made her bury her face in his neck.
“No,” she whimpered, “take me to your room, Sammy.”
Sam saw Spike’s attention focus behind him and he turned to see his brother standing there looking for all intents and purposes like a child awaiting his punishment. His gaze lingered for a second until he heard Mikaela whisper “please” and he turned to head down the hallway to his room.
Angel and Dean remained in the living room until they heard Sam tell Spike to open the door and then the sound of a door slamming with finality. “Okay,” Angel said as he raised his eyebrows and glanced at Dean, “maybe you should give her a little time. Good night, Dean.”
He watched the dark vampire disappear into the hall, heard a knock on a door, and another slam. ‘Great, Dean,’ he said to himself as he plopped down on the sofa and held his head in his hands, ‘you chased off the most beautiful thing you’ve ever had in your life. You promised her you’d never hurt her and said she could trust herself to me and I broke those promises within a matter of minutes.’ He leaned back and stared at the ceiling for several minutes until he heard the sound of a guitar playing a soft ballad and her voice drifted down the hall to his ears. ‘She sounds miserable and I did that to her but still so...’
What did I do wrong
Did your eyes just finally see?
Was it something I said
To make you walk away from me?
Well maybe
Baby this wasn’t meant to be
Forever isn’t what you said
It was someone else’s voice instead
Forever isn’t what you meant
One breathe away from time well spent
Together
Well I should have known our time was winding down
Just a happy stone
One throw from skipping town
Well maybe
Baby this wasn’t meant to be
Forever isn’t what you said
It was someone else’s voice instead
Forever isn’t what you meant
One breathe away from time well spent
No
Forever isn’t what you said
It was somebody else’s voice instead
Forever isn’t what you meant
One breath away from time well spent
Well maybe
Baby this wasn’t meant to be
Forever
‘Beautiful,’ his eyes clenched as his tears flowed unbidden down his cheeks, ‘and tormented.’ He curled up on the sofa with his focus on the entrance to the hall. ‘I fucked this up bad.’
~*~
“That was beautiful, pet,” Spike whispered as he watched the tears flow from her haunted eyes. “Do you feel any better, luv?” Spike asked as he placed the guitar back on its stand and smiled down at her. “You’ve had a trying evening and a hell of a run through the bloody woods.”
“I’m tired, baby,” she said softly as she scooted under the covers.
“Then we’ll let you get some sleep,” Angel smiled from the foot of the bed and moved up beside his companion.
“Good night, pet,” Spike whispered as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night, baby,” Mikaela gave him a small smile before he moved off and Angel moved to her side. “Hey, you.”
“Hey princess,” he said before he kissed her forehead and whispered softly in her ear, “you really need to give him a chance to explain. He did it on purpose because he’s scared but he does love you.” She nodded her head slightly as he brushed her hair back on the pillow. “Good night, love.”
“Spike,” Sam called out as he opened the door, “thanks for helping me find her. I’m really glad you’re here.” The blond vampire nodded his head before he walked out. “Good night, Angel.”
“Good night, Sam,” he said softly before he glanced over his shoulder to see Mikaela curled up on her side. “Take care of her,” he whispered as he looked back at the young man, who nodded his head, before he walked out and closed the door quietly behind him.
Sam pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it on the chair before he climbed into bed. He lay beside her and stared into her sad eyes before he gave her a lopsided grin. “I guess it’s just you and me, beautiful. Come here,” he said as he held out his arms and she curled into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Go to sleep, Mick. Everything will be better in the morning.”
“Promise,” she sniffled as she burrowed into his warmth.
“I promise, baby,” he whispered as she cried silently into his chest.
~*~
Dean tossed about on the sofa as Mikaela’s torment filtered into his being. The pain he caused her was overwhelming him as their bond opened wide like a barn door and allowed him to feel everything she felt. He could sense that even in sleep she was haunted by the things he had said to her.
It proved to be more than he could bear.
He pulled himself to his feet and trudged his way down the hall to Sam’s room. His unsteady hand gripped the doorknob as he took a deep breath before he quietly entered the room. His eyes went instantly to the bed to find his woman wrapped securely in his brother’s arms. She was a stark contrast to the warrior he had first met. She looked small and…broken.
Mikaela instantly came awake and shot upright in bed. She fixed him with her gaze and a hard mask slipped into place. She cocked her head sideways and ran her cold eyes over his form. “Interesting,” she said softly as she returned her eyes to his, “you feel guilty, remorseful even, for the things you said earlier.”
“I didn’t mean,” he stopped when her eyes flashed in anger.
“Don’t worry about it, Dean. I just picked the wrong brother to mate,” she said with an immense amount of internal pleasure at seeing the pain cross his face. “I guess it should have been Sam all along but you overwhelmed my reason with those false feelings you thought you had for me. I’ll try to focus past the fake love and avoid allowing you to fuck me so that I can sever our bond. You’ll be free of me,” she said with a slight tremor in her voice, “just like you wish to be now that you’ve gotten what you wanted.”
“Mick,” he whispered with shining eyes as he finally decided to place his fidgeting hands on his waist.
“Get out,” her voice rose in volume and Sam came awake beside her. He glanced at his brother before he turned his attention to the woman at his side. The fight had left her body and she stared at her hands in her lap. “Just get out so I can get some kind of rest tonight.”
“Mikaela,” Dean tried again as he saw the anger leave her face and sadness sweep over, “baby, I didn’t mean…”
“I don’t want to hear it, Dean,” she shot back as tears welled in her eyes, “I gave you something that I wasn’t prepared to give anyone ever again. I gave you all of me and you cheapened it to just an act of carnal pleasure.” She lowered her head and ran her hands over her arms self-consciously. “I didn’t think I could be so stupid and allow myself to be fooled by mixed emotions. Those are my forte after all but you did it. You got past all my defenses and I will never forgive myself for it.”
“Mick,” Dean started forward when he felt her pain slice through him.
“Dean,” Sam said as he moved off the bed and intercepted his brother, “don’t do this now. She’s too raw and emotionally vulnerable.”
“Sam, she’s mine,” he said with a shaky voice and looked up at his brother with glistening eyes. “I won’t let anyone else have her and that includes you.”
“You don’t get to make that call, big brother,” Sam said as he stood tall and leveled a hard look at Dean. “You messed things up bad tonight. You let your insecurities get in the way of something wonderful and hurt a very unstable woman that you were supposed to help.”
“I know.”
“She could take away what she gave you and fall into despair all over again but I know she’s too wiped to do it tonight,” he said as he glanced over his shoulder to see her curled up on her side. “Give her until morning,” he said as he looked back at his disturbed brother, “I’ll try to get her to understand.”
“I don’t want to leave her, Sam.”
“You don’t have a choice tonight,” he said as he moved to the door, opened it, and glanced back. “You need to go now.”
He walked slowly towards the door as he glanced longingly at Mikaela. “I’m sorry, Mick,” he said as he backed away, “but I’m not giving up that easy. You belong to me and I’m not letting you go,” he said with determination as he moved out into the hallway, “ever.”
“You are tonight,” Sam said tight-lipped as he slammed the door in his brother’s frowning face. “Dumb ass,” he muttered as he went to the bed, crawled in, and pulled her trembling body back against his chest. “Try to get some sleep, Mick,” he whispered. “I’ll be right here for you if you need me.”
~*~