I will miss Memphis (barbecue)
The main thing is, I miss my girlfriend. Also, I find myself not feeling anything. Like my emotions are dead. The most excited I've been is when i decided to go to interstate bbq for lunch today. A while ago, actually, last year about this time, i took a step back from my life because i realized I was taking things too seriously. It's quite refreshing when you can take an objective view of your own life. Every once in a while something would come to me that made me feel, car accidents, duke basketball, college acceptance and scholarship bs, but on the whole it was a pretty mellow system. The thing is, there are no highs without lows, no joy without pain, etc. It didnt really affect me at first, until I realized I wasnt enjoying the time I have left with these friends of mine. I've never really missed people before (save one), in all honestly, i usually forget those who i am no longer around. Not this time. We still have nearly two months of summer left and yet i beginning to miss them already. Not just my friends. People who I only said hey to in the hall, and only talked with in class. I sit here typing this entry, wanting to pour out emotion, passion in words, a process that has been therapuetic for me in the past, and I find myself unable to. Oh irony is cruel. See, one of the reasons I set out to take a more objective view of my life is that so i could observe it, to write about it, to express on it paper. But how can I express what I have not felt? If I write my objective view on my own life, I am simply writing a history text, filled with facts and anecdotes, not passion. And now I must choose, should i continue this outlook on life that has gotten me through so much this past year or should i risk my emotional stability to once again experience what it is to truly feel?