i want you, but i'm not giving in this time
why do things have to go crappy just when they start to look up? its like things are finally going well, and i'm happy with where i am and content being away from my friends and i think things are just dandy. and then i have a day like today and i once again feel like an outsider.
i felt so alone today. if i had missed school today, would anyone have noticed? today i felt like a complete waste of space. extremely unimportant.
and no, this post isn't just so i can throw a pity party for myself. it isn't my cry for attention. all i'm doing is stating how i'm feeling. putting it into words.
maybe someday my mom will run across this and realize that when i tell her how depressed i get and how much i hate life sometimes she'll realize i wasn't just making everything up.
and for you. i try so hard every time that i see you to show you that you're important to me. and to show you that i care. in my opinion, today was completely un-called for. i dont understand why you get so hurt because all i do is pay attention to you, and genuinely care about whats going on in your life. maybe i dont show that i care in the same ways that you do, but people are different. you dated me for six months, you should know me a little bit better. i'm tired of trying and trying over and over again to show you how much you mean to me and just getting 'you dont care about me at all, i'm sick of this being one-sided' in return. i recognize the fact that you care about me, why cant you do the same?
ugh, today has been so...sad. and i feel terrible, like i'm getting the flu or something. and i have work in 30 minutes for the rest of the afternoon/night. and then i have a whole paper and a ton of english homework to do. great.
i dont plan on going to school tomorrow. hopefully i'll be genuinely sick so i'll really have an excuse.
::sigh:: ...have a nice day i suppose.
i felt so alone today. if i had missed school today, would anyone have noticed? today i felt like a complete waste of space. extremely unimportant.
and no, this post isn't just so i can throw a pity party for myself. it isn't my cry for attention. all i'm doing is stating how i'm feeling. putting it into words.
maybe someday my mom will run across this and realize that when i tell her how depressed i get and how much i hate life sometimes she'll realize i wasn't just making everything up.
and for you. i try so hard every time that i see you to show you that you're important to me. and to show you that i care. in my opinion, today was completely un-called for. i dont understand why you get so hurt because all i do is pay attention to you, and genuinely care about whats going on in your life. maybe i dont show that i care in the same ways that you do, but people are different. you dated me for six months, you should know me a little bit better. i'm tired of trying and trying over and over again to show you how much you mean to me and just getting 'you dont care about me at all, i'm sick of this being one-sided' in return. i recognize the fact that you care about me, why cant you do the same?
ugh, today has been so...sad. and i feel terrible, like i'm getting the flu or something. and i have work in 30 minutes for the rest of the afternoon/night. and then i have a whole paper and a ton of english homework to do. great.
i dont plan on going to school tomorrow. hopefully i'll be genuinely sick so i'll really have an excuse.
::sigh:: ...have a nice day i suppose.