saturnine
today was kind of slow. it made me depressed.
but i worked on my painting. it's not really even a painting anymore. it's just a bunch of whatever i feel like needs to go on it. i like it a lot.
and now i'm procrastinating on some english homework so i can write this, because i feel compelled. i've just been thinking about how it is that i've changed so much over the course of these two years (since i made this journal).. and even earlier than that, when i had my first one.
maybe it's time for a new one.. but i couldn't let this one go. i love seeing eveything compiled in the end. i love looking back.
i began this journal when i was a sophomore. sick of my parents control and dying to get out and do whatever i wanted. but now i've grown, matured, gained a lot more freedom. i understand that i had limitations for a reason, and it's that that shows that i really have grown up.
i think i have grown up more in these past two years than i have in all my life. and i think that's what's supposed to happen when you're this age.
back when i started this journal, i complained about my restrictions a lot. i had made new friends who had different restrictions than me, and i wanted to be like them. i grew and molded with those people. i wanted a car, my liscense, to drive and go wherever i wanted. now i can. it's taken some time, but i know that i deserve it now. i've learned that i have to be responsible with those privaledges, and i don't think i would have been back then. i was fifteen when i started this journal. now i'm seventeen. i'm going to college in less than a year. i'm graduating. i'm starting a new era in my life. it's so exciting. but my problem right now is i'm stuck in the future, and i'm putting off the now. i've always had that problem. but this year it's really taking a toll on me. i need to slow down, and really work at the now. the other thing i need to fix is my lazyness. and i'm too lazy to do it.
but i worked on my painting. it's not really even a painting anymore. it's just a bunch of whatever i feel like needs to go on it. i like it a lot.
and now i'm procrastinating on some english homework so i can write this, because i feel compelled. i've just been thinking about how it is that i've changed so much over the course of these two years (since i made this journal).. and even earlier than that, when i had my first one.
maybe it's time for a new one.. but i couldn't let this one go. i love seeing eveything compiled in the end. i love looking back.
i began this journal when i was a sophomore. sick of my parents control and dying to get out and do whatever i wanted. but now i've grown, matured, gained a lot more freedom. i understand that i had limitations for a reason, and it's that that shows that i really have grown up.
i think i have grown up more in these past two years than i have in all my life. and i think that's what's supposed to happen when you're this age.
back when i started this journal, i complained about my restrictions a lot. i had made new friends who had different restrictions than me, and i wanted to be like them. i grew and molded with those people. i wanted a car, my liscense, to drive and go wherever i wanted. now i can. it's taken some time, but i know that i deserve it now. i've learned that i have to be responsible with those privaledges, and i don't think i would have been back then. i was fifteen when i started this journal. now i'm seventeen. i'm going to college in less than a year. i'm graduating. i'm starting a new era in my life. it's so exciting. but my problem right now is i'm stuck in the future, and i'm putting off the now. i've always had that problem. but this year it's really taking a toll on me. i need to slow down, and really work at the now. the other thing i need to fix is my lazyness. and i'm too lazy to do it.