Lots of Crap...
so it quarter till one so why not update eh? I've been meaning to do this evertime I check my friends page but I can just never get myself to actually sit down and write it...
As much as I'm enjoying have a semester off to not have anything to stress over...I'm getting REALLY bored...Anna's always working or with her b/f so I see her maybe a few times a month anymore...or like now when he's out of otwn and she has nothing else to do. That boy really needs to stop being possesive and share her with me. granted he is afraid of loosing her wich he almost did do when she went all stupid and starting liking this other guy...but this entry isn't about Anna it's about me...lol this is my journal not hers...geeze
Ummm work every weekend...they've actually started calling me now...well Henry does atleats and he's really one of the few ones who actually matters to me when it comes to doing scheduling..all the dumb bitches who workin the office during the week don't know shit so poeple like poor Henry an Alicia get so much more work to do becuse of people like them...they have to do scheduling work, presets, meet with famliest and work parties on the weekends...poor guys. I love my job, I really do..I honostly never thought I would find a part time job that I would be able to say that about...everyone else I know/knew always HATED their part time jobs...but I really like mine...it's never the smae which is what is great about it. I get to go to all these neat locations and see how different people have planned out their weddings...sometiems they suck major ass but other times they are really fun. Last weeks was just sorta "eh" didn't suck but was great either...got chocolate all over my shirt from the damn chocolate fountain...damn thing is a pain to clean ugh. I'm looking forward to it being hte holiday season...get out of the wedding scene for awhile and hopefully do more office parties...i somehow missed out on those last year..apparnetly they tend to tip well and it just something different then a wedding. So yea...since I've worked there a year I got a dollar raise..so yay more money a paycheck! I need to talk to Henry about working more hours...maybe getting into presetting parties during the week when they do that...but he hasn't called me this week yet...not that I mind really I'm sorta torn about working becuase mom will need me help (even though she say she doesn't) watching my grandmother...
which brings me into my next topic...family..my grandmothers doing the same I guess...seeing her as often as I do I may not notice the change so I really don't know...she gets bad when it starts getting dark but thats just part of the disease..she gets really anxious and nervous...we were at dinner a few days before my birthday a few weeks ago and she could see the window from our table and she kept commenting that it was getting "black" out (she can't seem to grasp the word dark anymore) and thought we had been there for hours even though we hadn't even had our dinner yet...then when dinner arrived she didn't want to eat it...first time that has ever happened...she always says shes not hungry but then she'll eat anyways (cause she forgets and i just htink she feels like hse has just eaten even when she hasn't cuase she can't remember either way) umm so yea this Saturday is the opening weekend of duck hunting season so dad and grandpa will be gone over night and my grandma stresses like mad whenever my grandpa is gone..he is her constant it just gets bad when he is gone...she will think she hasn't seen him for days and that he hasn't called (even if he had just called like a minute before) it gets to the point where about every 15 seconds she will ask where he is/when will he back/have we heard from him today? etc etc. As hard is it is on her and us, we want him to be able to get away...except for hwne he was wanting to take my dad on a 10 day trip to North Dakota or wherever it was...that was going to be a bit much..luckily when he was in Colorado with her..he finally got a grasp of how bad she can be when she is out of a familiar element so he gave up the idea on the trip. See I think he is in a bit of a state of denial about her condition, yes he gets it, understands it, I just don't htink he wants to accept it...and he doens't really see it as bad as we do soemtimes becuase its HIM she stresses over when he's gone and obviously if he's gone he doesn't see it...shes comfortable around me and mom when we come to be with her when he goes out...she knows we are someone she loves and cares for and vice versa but I honostly don't think she knwos why anymore...that smae night at dinner that I was talking about earlier she didn't understand that mom, dad and I all lived together...I mean she knew dad was her son..but I just don't think she remembed the connection to mom and I..it's a long story...
It sucks...it's hard..and we don't really talk about it that often...my grandpa never talks to me about it...moms sorta his confident in that area...even thought he did express his fears to me recently that he is afraid of her falling again, we all are, becuse if we think its bad when he is gone..it's owrse when she is in the hospital on meds...she gets angry...we all want to avoid that if we can...it was all way to much this past february when she had her arm surgery and stuff...I never witnessed it...it usually happened at night when dad would go vist after work since he works next door to the hospital she was at...I didn't even want to ehar the stories...made me wish I wasn't old enought to where they would still be trying to protect me from hearing these things but I know I need to...I'm almost forgetting what she was like before...I can't even remember how long ago this started...I sometimes sit and try to remember back to my highschool graduation and wonder if she was in her right mind enough to know what was going on to be proud of me that day...but I can't remember...I know it was around then that we started seeing a bit of the short term memory problems..she would repeat the same maybe 3-4 stories during visits and phone conversations...but really I don't remember...it just sorta came out of nowhere...progressed slowly where hse did the story repeating for a copule years and then wham we are where we are at now with her without much inbetween...I think when she fell and broke her hip it really sent her into the next stages of it...where I think she skipped some stages of the disease going from mild to fairly moderate in my opinion from what I've read onlnie about alzheimers...
and now I've just severely depressed myself before going to bed...go me...lemme try to think of something happy to post to make this entry less depressing...
went to the ren fest a couple weeks ago with my Wench and her friend Scottie who joined us last year which was fantastic becuase he is awsome! I will have my pics up on facebook eventually...ummm that same weekedn I was dog sitting which involved staying the night with a minpin and a weimeraner which I know I dind't spell right but really don't care right now...nice dogs, but they bark a lot...however that Sunday that I went to the fest I also went ot see Anna and her job at the nursing home...got the crap scared out of me when her and the girl Amy went to check on Dee one of the residents...their sickest resident they keep only saying she has a few days to live (don't know if she still with us or not at this point) but they weren't getting her to respond and I"m standing in the doorway going "holy fuck did one of them die!? am i looking at a dead person! ohhh shit!" but she wasn't...she was just sleeping (it was maybe like 10pm)...so yea..then Anna and I went casino hopping at were out till like 4...don't know how I stayed awake.
Oh went to Lawrence last friday for late night (its almost my boys basketball season wooo!! (even though most of the taem is gone off to the nba..ohs well the new recruits looked good)) met Anna's sister Abbey up there she is a freshman this year had a good spot inline to get good seats...got practically trampled trying to get through the door...everyone crowded the doors 2hrs before the opened...2 hrs...that was a bit much...it was like being in a standstill moshpit...not fun. I had an old man pressed up behind me...sorta has me scared for life. Umm after late night (which actually starts at 6:30) and watching them unveil all the championship banners from last season Anna and I went to Abe and Jakes a bar there that I had catered a party at a few weeks before and thought the place was awsome so we went there...had a sex on the beach, and a jolly rancher shot and a starburt shot (those f'n things are good...can't remember now which one I liked better though...)then we went to get her sister from her dorm cause she needed to be home for the weekend for their dads birthday and to baby sit for their nieghbors or something...OH!
the night before that I was at Anna's, baking a cake for their dads birthday (and drinking of course...grape UV taste like cough mediicine...bad...) when Abbey got home from being at movie with a friend of hers from highschool who was in town from the jewish college she goes to in NY (they get like all of october off because of the holidays) and noticed there was a cop up the street from their house...one cop became 2 and 2 became three and eventually there was like five cops and this was like 12:30-1 something in the mornign...and this house they were at/the house next door to it or something... apparently a woman like 8 or so years ago chopped up her husband into little pieces...soo it was interesting...and Anna and I being the curious pari that we are decided to go for a drive to see what we could see...not much..(we follow ambulances and fire trucks if we see them when we are out because we are curious...sad yes I know) there sadly wasn't much to see...but it was fun to just be in the car cause we were working out htis whole story about why we were up/out at 1 in the morning and it was just amusing the crap out of us for osme odd reason...then we watched Greys and ER which for some reason her DVR cut off the end of or decided it wanted to install updates or something so I still need to see the last 5 min of ER but it was 3:30 in the morning so at that point I really didn't care...I went home and went to bed. ... umm I really think thats all I have to update about ... i'm sad and pathetic and boring I know but hey...that's my life...maybe oneday I'll actually have a life and have things to update about...but I doubt it...by the time I ever have a life there will probabyl be no one left to read this journal...ok...its now 1:15 and I think I am going to bed...probably won't happen though I really probably end up putting in a DVD because I have Hetty Wainthroppe Investigates from the library and it has wee little Dominic in it and he is so adorable in this show...eeep!
oh I rearranged my room a bit so that I now have access to my big round comfy chair that I've had for a long time so now I sit in it every night and love it...this chair is awsome. so my room is slightly organized and clean now (still working out a few kinks and finding space for a few things but it's getting there)
Ok...I am really putting this entry to an end...good night all...have a grand week/weekend...see ya!
As much as I'm enjoying have a semester off to not have anything to stress over...I'm getting REALLY bored...Anna's always working or with her b/f so I see her maybe a few times a month anymore...or like now when he's out of otwn and she has nothing else to do. That boy really needs to stop being possesive and share her with me. granted he is afraid of loosing her wich he almost did do when she went all stupid and starting liking this other guy...but this entry isn't about Anna it's about me...lol this is my journal not hers...geeze
Ummm work every weekend...they've actually started calling me now...well Henry does atleats and he's really one of the few ones who actually matters to me when it comes to doing scheduling..all the dumb bitches who workin the office during the week don't know shit so poeple like poor Henry an Alicia get so much more work to do becuse of people like them...they have to do scheduling work, presets, meet with famliest and work parties on the weekends...poor guys. I love my job, I really do..I honostly never thought I would find a part time job that I would be able to say that about...everyone else I know/knew always HATED their part time jobs...but I really like mine...it's never the smae which is what is great about it. I get to go to all these neat locations and see how different people have planned out their weddings...sometiems they suck major ass but other times they are really fun. Last weeks was just sorta "eh" didn't suck but was great either...got chocolate all over my shirt from the damn chocolate fountain...damn thing is a pain to clean ugh. I'm looking forward to it being hte holiday season...get out of the wedding scene for awhile and hopefully do more office parties...i somehow missed out on those last year..apparnetly they tend to tip well and it just something different then a wedding. So yea...since I've worked there a year I got a dollar raise..so yay more money a paycheck! I need to talk to Henry about working more hours...maybe getting into presetting parties during the week when they do that...but he hasn't called me this week yet...not that I mind really I'm sorta torn about working becuase mom will need me help (even though she say she doesn't) watching my grandmother...
which brings me into my next topic...family..my grandmothers doing the same I guess...seeing her as often as I do I may not notice the change so I really don't know...she gets bad when it starts getting dark but thats just part of the disease..she gets really anxious and nervous...we were at dinner a few days before my birthday a few weeks ago and she could see the window from our table and she kept commenting that it was getting "black" out (she can't seem to grasp the word dark anymore) and thought we had been there for hours even though we hadn't even had our dinner yet...then when dinner arrived she didn't want to eat it...first time that has ever happened...she always says shes not hungry but then she'll eat anyways (cause she forgets and i just htink she feels like hse has just eaten even when she hasn't cuase she can't remember either way) umm so yea this Saturday is the opening weekend of duck hunting season so dad and grandpa will be gone over night and my grandma stresses like mad whenever my grandpa is gone..he is her constant it just gets bad when he is gone...she will think she hasn't seen him for days and that he hasn't called (even if he had just called like a minute before) it gets to the point where about every 15 seconds she will ask where he is/when will he back/have we heard from him today? etc etc. As hard is it is on her and us, we want him to be able to get away...except for hwne he was wanting to take my dad on a 10 day trip to North Dakota or wherever it was...that was going to be a bit much..luckily when he was in Colorado with her..he finally got a grasp of how bad she can be when she is out of a familiar element so he gave up the idea on the trip. See I think he is in a bit of a state of denial about her condition, yes he gets it, understands it, I just don't htink he wants to accept it...and he doens't really see it as bad as we do soemtimes becuase its HIM she stresses over when he's gone and obviously if he's gone he doesn't see it...shes comfortable around me and mom when we come to be with her when he goes out...she knows we are someone she loves and cares for and vice versa but I honostly don't think she knwos why anymore...that smae night at dinner that I was talking about earlier she didn't understand that mom, dad and I all lived together...I mean she knew dad was her son..but I just don't think she remembed the connection to mom and I..it's a long story...
It sucks...it's hard..and we don't really talk about it that often...my grandpa never talks to me about it...moms sorta his confident in that area...even thought he did express his fears to me recently that he is afraid of her falling again, we all are, becuse if we think its bad when he is gone..it's owrse when she is in the hospital on meds...she gets angry...we all want to avoid that if we can...it was all way to much this past february when she had her arm surgery and stuff...I never witnessed it...it usually happened at night when dad would go vist after work since he works next door to the hospital she was at...I didn't even want to ehar the stories...made me wish I wasn't old enought to where they would still be trying to protect me from hearing these things but I know I need to...I'm almost forgetting what she was like before...I can't even remember how long ago this started...I sometimes sit and try to remember back to my highschool graduation and wonder if she was in her right mind enough to know what was going on to be proud of me that day...but I can't remember...I know it was around then that we started seeing a bit of the short term memory problems..she would repeat the same maybe 3-4 stories during visits and phone conversations...but really I don't remember...it just sorta came out of nowhere...progressed slowly where hse did the story repeating for a copule years and then wham we are where we are at now with her without much inbetween...I think when she fell and broke her hip it really sent her into the next stages of it...where I think she skipped some stages of the disease going from mild to fairly moderate in my opinion from what I've read onlnie about alzheimers...
and now I've just severely depressed myself before going to bed...go me...lemme try to think of something happy to post to make this entry less depressing...
went to the ren fest a couple weeks ago with my Wench and her friend Scottie who joined us last year which was fantastic becuase he is awsome! I will have my pics up on facebook eventually...ummm that same weekedn I was dog sitting which involved staying the night with a minpin and a weimeraner which I know I dind't spell right but really don't care right now...nice dogs, but they bark a lot...however that Sunday that I went to the fest I also went ot see Anna and her job at the nursing home...got the crap scared out of me when her and the girl Amy went to check on Dee one of the residents...their sickest resident they keep only saying she has a few days to live (don't know if she still with us or not at this point) but they weren't getting her to respond and I"m standing in the doorway going "holy fuck did one of them die!? am i looking at a dead person! ohhh shit!" but she wasn't...she was just sleeping (it was maybe like 10pm)...so yea..then Anna and I went casino hopping at were out till like 4...don't know how I stayed awake.
Oh went to Lawrence last friday for late night (its almost my boys basketball season wooo!! (even though most of the taem is gone off to the nba..ohs well the new recruits looked good)) met Anna's sister Abbey up there she is a freshman this year had a good spot inline to get good seats...got practically trampled trying to get through the door...everyone crowded the doors 2hrs before the opened...2 hrs...that was a bit much...it was like being in a standstill moshpit...not fun. I had an old man pressed up behind me...sorta has me scared for life. Umm after late night (which actually starts at 6:30) and watching them unveil all the championship banners from last season Anna and I went to Abe and Jakes a bar there that I had catered a party at a few weeks before and thought the place was awsome so we went there...had a sex on the beach, and a jolly rancher shot and a starburt shot (those f'n things are good...can't remember now which one I liked better though...)then we went to get her sister from her dorm cause she needed to be home for the weekend for their dads birthday and to baby sit for their nieghbors or something...OH!
the night before that I was at Anna's, baking a cake for their dads birthday (and drinking of course...grape UV taste like cough mediicine...bad...) when Abbey got home from being at movie with a friend of hers from highschool who was in town from the jewish college she goes to in NY (they get like all of october off because of the holidays) and noticed there was a cop up the street from their house...one cop became 2 and 2 became three and eventually there was like five cops and this was like 12:30-1 something in the mornign...and this house they were at/the house next door to it or something... apparently a woman like 8 or so years ago chopped up her husband into little pieces...soo it was interesting...and Anna and I being the curious pari that we are decided to go for a drive to see what we could see...not much..(we follow ambulances and fire trucks if we see them when we are out because we are curious...sad yes I know) there sadly wasn't much to see...but it was fun to just be in the car cause we were working out htis whole story about why we were up/out at 1 in the morning and it was just amusing the crap out of us for osme odd reason...then we watched Greys and ER which for some reason her DVR cut off the end of or decided it wanted to install updates or something so I still need to see the last 5 min of ER but it was 3:30 in the morning so at that point I really didn't care...I went home and went to bed. ... umm I really think thats all I have to update about ... i'm sad and pathetic and boring I know but hey...that's my life...maybe oneday I'll actually have a life and have things to update about...but I doubt it...by the time I ever have a life there will probabyl be no one left to read this journal...ok...its now 1:15 and I think I am going to bed...probably won't happen though I really probably end up putting in a DVD because I have Hetty Wainthroppe Investigates from the library and it has wee little Dominic in it and he is so adorable in this show...eeep!
oh I rearranged my room a bit so that I now have access to my big round comfy chair that I've had for a long time so now I sit in it every night and love it...this chair is awsome. so my room is slightly organized and clean now (still working out a few kinks and finding space for a few things but it's getting there)
Ok...I am really putting this entry to an end...good night all...have a grand week/weekend...see ya!