This is the only song that can ever make me cry..
[But I'm not crying. Just saying.]
I had guitar today.
Jason changed my life today. He's very good at that.
He gives me advice because he's had experience. Because he's the master of relationships. Because he knows I need him to.
Today, the most important thing he told me was this:
I need to not be in a relationship for a while. If I keep going from one boyfriend to the next, it will just suck up my emotions and attention and I will be entirely focused on them. Lik eI have been for the past two years or so. In five years, if I stayed the same, all I would have to show for myself over the next five years is a long list of ex boyfriends that I will wish I never dated. And that is really ALL I'd have to show for myself. Now, I need to focus on school, and music, and maybe looking into what I want to be my future career more. This way, in five years, I can look back and say I did something, and I grew, in many ways, not just one. I accomplished something. =]
This makes me so happy.
Actually, I feel slightly numb right now, to any emotions escept for happiness. I guess it's okay, but I don't want it to leave and I know it will.
Like Sierra told me, I know I won't hurt anymore, but I know there will be times when I feel weak and alone.
I have to learn to help myself through those times.
Another thing he was telling me. I'm deffinitely not used to having to make myself feel better. I have been relying on David to do that for a long time. And before him, Andrew. Then after andrew... you know. I could do it myself. But I lost it again, so being alone for a while will probably be slightly painful, like it was last time. But thinking about how much I learned from that... I don't mind. It has to happen, at least I'm learning sooner rather than later.
I had guitar today.
Jason changed my life today. He's very good at that.
He gives me advice because he's had experience. Because he's the master of relationships. Because he knows I need him to.
Today, the most important thing he told me was this:
I need to not be in a relationship for a while. If I keep going from one boyfriend to the next, it will just suck up my emotions and attention and I will be entirely focused on them. Lik eI have been for the past two years or so. In five years, if I stayed the same, all I would have to show for myself over the next five years is a long list of ex boyfriends that I will wish I never dated. And that is really ALL I'd have to show for myself. Now, I need to focus on school, and music, and maybe looking into what I want to be my future career more. This way, in five years, I can look back and say I did something, and I grew, in many ways, not just one. I accomplished something. =]
This makes me so happy.
Actually, I feel slightly numb right now, to any emotions escept for happiness. I guess it's okay, but I don't want it to leave and I know it will.
Like Sierra told me, I know I won't hurt anymore, but I know there will be times when I feel weak and alone.
I have to learn to help myself through those times.
Another thing he was telling me. I'm deffinitely not used to having to make myself feel better. I have been relying on David to do that for a long time. And before him, Andrew. Then after andrew... you know. I could do it myself. But I lost it again, so being alone for a while will probably be slightly painful, like it was last time. But thinking about how much I learned from that... I don't mind. It has to happen, at least I'm learning sooner rather than later.