(no subject)
it's a tradition, gotta update on ur birthday. the big 1-9. once again doesnt feel different. but then i think of how much my life changed in a million ways during the 18th year and i cant even comprehend the adventures to come. it's scary as hell but id say im pretty frickin excited right now. the sun is shining its like 70 degrees, im spending the day at newport beach w/ my liz, hitting up joes crab shack w/ the crew tonight (best restuant ever) and then the most intense dorm party socal has ever seen!!!!! and oh did i mention disneyland 2marow? and sicne im a cripple that means front on all the lines bitches! i freakin love socal. so excited to go home for thanksgivivng but right now im just so happy to be here in this place at this moment with these people. i wish max was here, obviously, but it's only 17 days away!!!!!!! and i have no doubts in how much we love eachother so its all good! here's what i wrote last year just for my own sentementiality (is that word/?) soooo weird to see the difference and similarities between then and now. just goes to show u, at this time last year i had no fuckin clue where i was going to be sitting and what i would be doing for my next birthday. or all of the ups and downs in between. moral of this story is, u never know. life is wonderfully unexpected. and everything will work itself out no matter how much it seems like it won't. love love love! byyyyyyye
LAST YEAR-
i figure i should update in my birthday. i cant even believe im 18. well folks, i could go on an extended tangent about what it means to be an adult and how excited/scared i am but someone else describes how i feel right now better than i could. im having a fun birthday and going to to the city w/ my family to Greens the best resturaunt ever (vegerterian baby!) but all i can think of is max and how insanley i miss him. my birthday email from him reads..
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!so now i am in that really emotional place and i miss you more than ever and i feel like it is about to tear me apart! seriously one week isn't long enough for you to be here! (when you are here i may just destroy your return ticket so that you cannot leave me!) I really really hope you know how much you mean to me, because i would explain it, but I really do not know how to tell you that i have never cared for anyone more than i do for you. my mum says she understands what i am going through but i don't even think that she does. certainly none of my friends do, they just brush away anything that i say and then sya that maybe i should get a girlfriend closer to home. (those people really piss me off. they just don't realize how amazing you are...everyone should.) (ok i am sorry if this email goes off on wierd and mushy tangents but this is what i am thinking at the moment and like you said you are the only person who really seems to get me. I am so sorry that i have made you cry! i know that sounds wierd but think, if we had never met you would not have been crying about me...and i know it will be ok. even if at times it looks the bleakest and there is no hope whatsoever, just remember, the best is yet to come. that is always true, no matter what the context. There are always better times a head. (Ok sometimes i really wonder how i was so lucky to have gotten you...I really do not get it....)"
i swear i did not make that up. its too perfect for me to even think of. god i miss that boy. haha he said "mum" lol.
gosh, 18.. i dont feel different..
LAST YEAR-
i figure i should update in my birthday. i cant even believe im 18. well folks, i could go on an extended tangent about what it means to be an adult and how excited/scared i am but someone else describes how i feel right now better than i could. im having a fun birthday and going to to the city w/ my family to Greens the best resturaunt ever (vegerterian baby!) but all i can think of is max and how insanley i miss him. my birthday email from him reads..
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!so now i am in that really emotional place and i miss you more than ever and i feel like it is about to tear me apart! seriously one week isn't long enough for you to be here! (when you are here i may just destroy your return ticket so that you cannot leave me!) I really really hope you know how much you mean to me, because i would explain it, but I really do not know how to tell you that i have never cared for anyone more than i do for you. my mum says she understands what i am going through but i don't even think that she does. certainly none of my friends do, they just brush away anything that i say and then sya that maybe i should get a girlfriend closer to home. (those people really piss me off. they just don't realize how amazing you are...everyone should.) (ok i am sorry if this email goes off on wierd and mushy tangents but this is what i am thinking at the moment and like you said you are the only person who really seems to get me. I am so sorry that i have made you cry! i know that sounds wierd but think, if we had never met you would not have been crying about me...and i know it will be ok. even if at times it looks the bleakest and there is no hope whatsoever, just remember, the best is yet to come. that is always true, no matter what the context. There are always better times a head. (Ok sometimes i really wonder how i was so lucky to have gotten you...I really do not get it....)"
i swear i did not make that up. its too perfect for me to even think of. god i miss that boy. haha he said "mum" lol.
gosh, 18.. i dont feel different..