"oh what a beautiful view if u were never aware of what was around u"
lets update...
so much to say and yet im too tierd to tell all.
went to ashland and it was rejuvinating, refreshing, wonderful beautiful emotional crazy expirence. i cannot believe its been a year since i met all of these wonderful people. we will always be bonded in one way or another and that is an amazing feeling. it was the ani-seminar. we did all the things we werent aloud to do at seminar. lol. it was all so akward in such an icredible way. lol. i doubt anyone understands that refrence but it makes me smile.
this trip just made me have faith in so many aspects of my life, i feel empowered (impowered?) in so many ways.
our lives can change in a million ways for the better and worse but all of us can still come together again and have the same quirks the same jokes, the same genuine friendship and the same connection over our life altering expirience. i love these people!
this trip also mended a lot of the pain i had been harboring with the max issues. im done with the anger the pain all of it. we've worked it out. times get rough but we push through. he made mistakes no doubt but a sincere apology and change in the future is all i can ask for and its what i am getting. love is forgivness and now that max is back to being his loveable self again i couldnt be happier. its been a hard time no doubt and will continue to be hard but our strength can overcome that. we arent perfect. our relationship is not some perfect example that everyone should follow. but it works for us. we do the best we can. we r learning, and growing and its not always pretty but we are still loving eachother the whole way through and that is what is important. it was terrifying to think that this relationship seemed over. but guess what bitches? we r back and ready to rumble! the feelings i went through made me realize how horrible my life would be without him. all i need to hear is that he cares and then i can believe again, and feel on top of the world.
now i can just go back to missing him terribly. yet id rather go through the worst pain and longing and emotional shit than not be with him. nothing is stable about our relationship and that is how it just has to be. somehow things work out. we make this happen and we can continue to make this happen. it kills me to see other couples becase i just want so badly for us just to be normal for once, to get to be together and not deal with the pain in between short visits. my whole body just aches out of sheer longing for him and it sucks, it sucks a whole lot. but no one else comes close. not even close. so ill keep putting up with anything because thats how much i care. and i now know he cares too. and thats all we need.
yay for life. things are scary my future is scary but i have to just take it all as it comes. live in the moment, hold dear to me who i care about and take risks. this is like a mini-pep talk 2 myself. lol.
whats in store next i have no idea but im ready for it... as they say in bring it on.. "u better bring it"
its already been "broughten"!!!!
so much to say and yet im too tierd to tell all.
went to ashland and it was rejuvinating, refreshing, wonderful beautiful emotional crazy expirence. i cannot believe its been a year since i met all of these wonderful people. we will always be bonded in one way or another and that is an amazing feeling. it was the ani-seminar. we did all the things we werent aloud to do at seminar. lol. it was all so akward in such an icredible way. lol. i doubt anyone understands that refrence but it makes me smile.
this trip just made me have faith in so many aspects of my life, i feel empowered (impowered?) in so many ways.
our lives can change in a million ways for the better and worse but all of us can still come together again and have the same quirks the same jokes, the same genuine friendship and the same connection over our life altering expirience. i love these people!
this trip also mended a lot of the pain i had been harboring with the max issues. im done with the anger the pain all of it. we've worked it out. times get rough but we push through. he made mistakes no doubt but a sincere apology and change in the future is all i can ask for and its what i am getting. love is forgivness and now that max is back to being his loveable self again i couldnt be happier. its been a hard time no doubt and will continue to be hard but our strength can overcome that. we arent perfect. our relationship is not some perfect example that everyone should follow. but it works for us. we do the best we can. we r learning, and growing and its not always pretty but we are still loving eachother the whole way through and that is what is important. it was terrifying to think that this relationship seemed over. but guess what bitches? we r back and ready to rumble! the feelings i went through made me realize how horrible my life would be without him. all i need to hear is that he cares and then i can believe again, and feel on top of the world.
now i can just go back to missing him terribly. yet id rather go through the worst pain and longing and emotional shit than not be with him. nothing is stable about our relationship and that is how it just has to be. somehow things work out. we make this happen and we can continue to make this happen. it kills me to see other couples becase i just want so badly for us just to be normal for once, to get to be together and not deal with the pain in between short visits. my whole body just aches out of sheer longing for him and it sucks, it sucks a whole lot. but no one else comes close. not even close. so ill keep putting up with anything because thats how much i care. and i now know he cares too. and thats all we need.
yay for life. things are scary my future is scary but i have to just take it all as it comes. live in the moment, hold dear to me who i care about and take risks. this is like a mini-pep talk 2 myself. lol.
whats in store next i have no idea but im ready for it... as they say in bring it on.. "u better bring it"
its already been "broughten"!!!!