home again home again
im home,
and i feel just weird.
soooooooooooooo amazing because thaT is what the trip was.
and im comforted to be home and be with all of the familiar things.
but im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad too. as we expected.
leaving max after ive been with him for 3 and a half weeks 24 hours a day and now being on my own? WTF!!!??!!! its horrible. everytime i started to cry on the plane i just kept letting his workd ring in my head to "be strong" but its times like these that make me feel so weak and i cannot explain it.
i feel that one of the best things for me right now is to get my mind off of him. because being at home now when all i can think of is calling texting iming him its just super unhealthy. and when i called him yesterday he sounded to be moving on with life a lot better. i need to give him some space to give him the time to miss me. i mean i know he does now probably not with me contacting him every 5 min. WHY AM I CRAZY?i dont know what to do without him anymore.
i need to hang out with FEMALES!i need to go do california things. i need to go do things for LANA. just for me. not for a guy. things in which i can find that bliss, that joy on my own. im just not sure what.
im sooooooooooo jetlagged its 6am!! if i knew how to post my amazing pics i would. OMG paris was AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!!! see! im learning how to be happy reflecting on the past without wanting to jump back in it! (well that was kind of a lie because thats where i wanna jump back to more than anything!!)
i think ill go to the beach and sleep today.
if anyone wants to watch some sunrises for the next 3 or 4 days while i am jetlagged to no return lemme know!
and i feel just weird.
soooooooooooooo amazing because thaT is what the trip was.
and im comforted to be home and be with all of the familiar things.
but im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad too. as we expected.
leaving max after ive been with him for 3 and a half weeks 24 hours a day and now being on my own? WTF!!!??!!! its horrible. everytime i started to cry on the plane i just kept letting his workd ring in my head to "be strong" but its times like these that make me feel so weak and i cannot explain it.
i feel that one of the best things for me right now is to get my mind off of him. because being at home now when all i can think of is calling texting iming him its just super unhealthy. and when i called him yesterday he sounded to be moving on with life a lot better. i need to give him some space to give him the time to miss me. i mean i know he does now probably not with me contacting him every 5 min. WHY AM I CRAZY?i dont know what to do without him anymore.
i need to hang out with FEMALES!i need to go do california things. i need to go do things for LANA. just for me. not for a guy. things in which i can find that bliss, that joy on my own. im just not sure what.
im sooooooooooo jetlagged its 6am!! if i knew how to post my amazing pics i would. OMG paris was AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!!! see! im learning how to be happy reflecting on the past without wanting to jump back in it! (well that was kind of a lie because thats where i wanna jump back to more than anything!!)
i think ill go to the beach and sleep today.
if anyone wants to watch some sunrises for the next 3 or 4 days while i am jetlagged to no return lemme know!